Turn your back to the forest
by Mrstrentreznor
Summary: set at the time of the newborn battle in Eclipse but in a Cullen free world. Victoria and her new coven are coming to La Push. AU, M for sex, language and themes
1. You're volunteered

Author:mrstrentreznor

Title:Turn your back to the forest

Rating:NC-17 for sex, language and themes

Fandom:Twilight, AU

Pairing:Quil and Bella

Archive:ask first

Feedback: please and thankyou

Author's Notes: the title comes from the rhyme children have to say to see baba yaga's house in Russian fairy tales 'turn your back to the forest and your front to me'

Disclaimer: _the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe[ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Summary: set at the time of the newborn battle in eclipse but in a Cullen free world. Victoria and her new coven are coming to La Push.

* * *

><p><strong>Timeline:<strong>

Jan 2006 she wakes up from Edward daze,

jan-feb - Jake puts her back together ride bikes etc

Feb. 20 - Jake phases

March 10 - Quil tells her Jake has joined Sam's cult; Jake visits her room

March 13 - spring break

March16 – Bella and Jake kiss in the kitchen

June 11th - Graduation

June 15th battle with newborns

* * *

><p><strong>Turn your back to the forest<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 you're volunteered<strong>

Bella Swan had survived many things. She was a survivor. But the catatonic state she fell into when Edward Cullen and his whole family left her had frightened everyone; most especially her best friend Jacob Black and her father Charlie. Edward and his whole family had left in October and it had taken until January for Bella to snap out of it. It was not just the loss of Edward that had affected her. She had thought of Alice Cullen as her best friend and the loss of them both was too much for her.

But she had improved in recent months. Jake had spent hours of effort putting her back together.

He hugged her a lot as if that would hold her together somehow. He knew that she loved Edward and that her heart was set on Edward, but he hoped that one day she would choose him. She would have got over it sooner if she had not loved _him_ quite so much. That was clear.

He was endlessly patient and understanding.

Bella brought him two wrecked motor bikes and they rebuilt them together. Well at least Jake did all the work; Bella helped in her own way. He even taught her to ride her bike. Until March when Jake had disappeared for a few days. Not that that stopped her then. She had tracked him down.

But now there was a new issue.

Bella just seemed to be incredibly attractive to supernatural beings. She had been hunted by a small vampire coven early on in her relationship with Edward. The Cullens had taken down James, the hunter, in a blood-filled scene in a dance school classroom in Phoenix, Arizona. They had burnt it to the ground to destroy both James and the evidence of their encounter. Bella had nearly died; she had nearly become one of them. She bore James's bite on her arm to this day.

Edward and his family had saved her from that, only to leave her when he felt that his very presence was the greatest danger to her. He loved her that much. But what he had forgotten to consider was that other vampires loved their partners just as much. James had a mate; Victoria. And she was not happy with Edward Cullen. She could not find him, but she knew where the love of_ his_ life lived after she had broken into the Forks High School administration office and copied Bella's school file. It listed everything. It listed her emergency contact number as Billy Black on the La Push reservation.

All laid out nice and easy for her.

And Edward had left her alone and undefended.

But Bella's supernatural attraction continued.

Her best friend had disappeared again, but this time, unlike Alice Cullen, she tracked him down. Jake had disappeared because he had assumed his native birth right and became a shape changer; specifically a wolf. He was the son of the tribal chief and he would be chief himself one day.

But right now, he was the true Alpha of the Quileute wolf pack. Sam was still Alpha because Jake had not been very keen to take on that responsibility. His father assured him that he would know when he was ready. The pack numbered eight members right now; Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Jake, Quil, Leah and Seth.

And the wolf pack was pissed.

Victoria had left a message for them. Pinned to Billy's door through the body of some rez kid's cat. It basically said she wanted Bella Swan. She knew they were protecting her and she wanted them to hand her over.

Victoria wanted Bella alive. She had already killed a number of animals on the reservation and next it would be people, she threatened. She was trying to be conciliatory by only killing animals now.

The pack had finally linked the disappearance of all those people in Seattle to Victoria. They had sent Jared up to scope it out as he was one of their best trackers. He said Seattle just reeked of vampire. Plus there were literally dozens of places for them to live, with a lot of the older parts of the city now existing below street level. It was a vampire rabbit warren.

So they came to the conclusion that Victoria was making a new coven; one she didn't particularly care about like she had cared about James and Laurent. These new members were expendable. She was not very happy with the pack for killing Laurent as well. Somehow she had found out about that and that Bella Swan had been involved there as well. More reasons for her to dislike Bella.

They had studied the news reports and Jared's info and they had tried to estimate how many vampires she had made. It was not an army; they all played COD4 and knew an army was at least 80,000 troops. She can't have even got to platoon numbers; 30 vamps would be hard to feed and hide. Besides their research indicated that newborns were so unstable that they killed each other half the time, so they thought she might have a decent squad of 8-13 vamps. She would not be dumb enough to hit them with a fire-team of four given they had already taken out Laurent easily and she knew that.

No one ever said she was stupid. Insane, yes; stupid no.

So she had friends and they were all going to be coming to Forks. That was the threat.

Victoria had nothing to lose. As far as she was concerned, she had already lost everything that was valuable to her.

The presence of vampires triggered the change in the young Quileute. The more vampires, the more wolves. But their army increased in size way slower than hers did. But her army _did_ need feeding and the number of people disappearing in Seattle had finally reached a point where it attracted the attention of the authorities. Not that Victoria was scared of them, but if it was all over the newspapers then others may hear of it too. Others she _was_ scared of. The last thing she needed was the Volturi taking her out before she staged her own dying Swan performance. So she had a timetable.

The tribal council held many impassioned meetings. Billy had known Bella from birth, he would never vote for handing her over, but he still needed to do the best thing for his tribe and his people. No one wanted to hand across Bella. Some might have, if it could be guaranteed to stop the madness, but it was the kind of blackmail that all suspected would just continue. And the more it continued, the more their children would be literally changed for life. No matter how proud they were of the wolf pack, most parents (if they were honest with themselves) prayed it would not happen to their child. They looked at Sue Clearwater with sympathy in their eyes; **both** her children were pack.

Besides, the Quileute did not take orders from vampires. It was just not in their genetic makeup to do it. They **fought** vampires and they were going to fight them now.

The tribal council agreed that the pack would meet with Victoria. She had offered a meeting to hear their decision. She told them to bring everybody.

Jake and Sam held a pack meeting to fill them all in on the tribal council decision and what they planned to do.

Bella will not attend the meeting. Jake planned to hide her somewhere. Bella rather thought that 'meeting' was a wolf euphemism for bloody battle.

"If you bring me to the meeting, she might think you were going to hand me over and be distracted," Bella tried to argue. She imagined that to save her friends she would escape and sacrifice herself.

Jake gave her a knowing look. "No," he stated as if he knew exactly what she was planning. So much for Edward's blocked mind reading abilities; Jake had never seemed to be defeated in that regard with her. "You will be hidden far away from the meeting."

"So that's the plan?" argued Bella. "You are just going to hide me somewhere? While you 'meet' with the vampires?" She resisted the urge to use finger apostrophes.

"You should be safe up in the mountains. If they can't track you, then they can't find you. If I carry you to the spot…" Jake's face softened at that. "They can't scent you. You'll be safe." He sounded to Bella like he was trying to convince himself.

He looked around at the assembled pack. "Someone will have to stay with her and guard her."

Seth put his hand up, literally. Bella thought it was adorable.

Jake's eyes scanned right over the top of him and Seth lowered the arm slowly; a look of utter disappointment on his face. Jake hesitated at Paul. Paul was strong but dangerous to any female. Jake was clearly worried about leaving her alone with him; that was Bella's assessment. Plus, he was one of their best fighters and they would need him for the meeting/battle.

Bella watched as Jake's eyes continued. As if Jake would leave her alone with Paul? Jake's eyes stopped at Quil and Embry. His best friends.

Embry had watched and listened to everything Jake said attentively; he always did. But Quil had been picking at his foot for most of the meeting. Bella had been watching him.

Jake studied them both and then seemed to make a decision. "Quil?" he asked.

"Dude, I think I have got a splinter or something," Quil said without looking up.

Embry rolled his eyes.

Clearly Quil had not heard a single word Jake and Sam had said.

"Can you do it?" asked Jake optimistically.

"What?" he asked cluelessly.

"Guard Bella," Jake sounded a little exasperated now.

"Sure, sure," Quil blithely agreed.

Bella would have bet the farm that Quil had no idea what he had just agreed to.

She was even surer of it when Jake repeated the plans for Quil and he started to realise that he was going to miss the 'meeting'. Embry just raised an eyebrow at him and she could tell from Quil's face that he was trapped. He couldn't tell Jake that looking after Bella was not important; it was _everything_ to Jake, they all knew that.

Even Bella… _especially_ Bella?

She was not quite sure what to do with the fact that she was the centre of Jake's world.

She thought of Jake as her best friend; always had, but she knew he wanted more and he had been pushing her; gently for sure, but still pushing. They actually had sex for the first time a couple of weeks ago. She felt like she had to do it. She knew it would sound weird if she tried to explain it to somebody.

She felt like she owed Jake. Owed him her life; truth be told. If he had not snapped her out of her catatonic state she might have ended up institutionalised. At the best, she would have ended up living with her mother again. Equivalent to living in a mental home? She loved her mother but she drove her crazy. It would be worse somehow to go back now after her months of 'freedom'.

The day of Harry Clearwater's funeral, Jake had kissed her in the kitchen. He had finally pushed her up against the counter and kissed her. It was gentle and exquisite.

When he kissed her she had a vision. She saw Jake walk out of the forest with two dark haired children; little dark haired russet skinned children. They ran towards her eagerly and she recognised them in her heart as hers.

A vision was weird, but no weirder than anything else she had been through so far. She thought it was a glimpse of her future with Jake. It was a gift; she could have this if she wanted it. If she chose him.

She thought about it a lot; Bella Swan always did over think stuff. And she decided she **did** want it. She wanted that future. It was as normal as she could conceive of right now. Unless she left Forks all together and that she could not do, for a whole lot of reasons.

But that glimpse of their 'future' decided her. She could see herself in that future. And she was alive and she was happy. She could feel how happy she was in that vision.

So she had sex with Jacob Black.

And it was awful.

They were both virgins and it was fumbling, painful and awkward. He was so tall and so big and she just felt… lost. All her romantic novels had set her up to expect… well …fireworks she supposed.

And there weren't any.

Well, not for her. Jake seemed happy and pleased with himself. It was the first time she felt like he had failed her somehow. It was all over so quickly too.

Eventually he picked up on her emotional withdrawal and he tried to convince her that it would get better the next time. But she didn't want to do it again. She had thought it would bring them closer together and it hadn't; it had made her worry and over think things again. This time she stressed about if being with Jake was the right thing to do. She had chosen Jake and it didn't feel right.

So, she knew _she_ was the centre of Jake's world, but he was not the centre of hers. She loved him, just not like that. She felt bad about that, but it was the truth.

She had not had to try very hard to avoid him, even though she was staying on the reservation. The last couple of weeks, the pack had run itself ragged. Jake came back to the Black house completely exhausted after patrol. He ate because he had to and then he fell into bed and slept. She would curl up with him. They weren't intimate again; there just wasn't time.

It was June, School was in the last weeks and then she had to study for her exams. She got driven to Forks High by a wolf babysitter, who took up a watching position in the forest close to the school during the actual exams and then drove her home again. Lauren and Jessica nearly died at the succession of tall, beautiful men who escorted her. Green with envy was an inadequate description. Bella wondered if they thought she was sleeping with them all. She supposed she had actually slept with the most impressive of them all; Jake. But he was usually too busy to pick her up himself.

Lucky for her, Charlie was in Seattle. The number of deaths in Seattle had reached such a level that they had called in some experienced officers from the Pacific Northwest area. He didn't know she was staying at the reservation. She had forwarded the calls from the house phone to her mobile. Charlie never was any good with technology. He probably didn't know she could do that.

He came back to attend her graduation in the first week of June and had proudly taken her to a celebratory dinner at The Lodge; very upmarket for Charlie. She had been betting on the diner. She still hadn't decided what to do about College. Edward had filled in all the application forms for the colleges he approved of, for her and any college he had given the seal of approval to now held less attraction for her. In any case, she no longer had the Cullen bank account to pay for it all. Or to guarantee her place with a charitable donation to the right faculty at the right time.

She told Charlie she would stay with the Blacks now and he was overjoyed. He liked Jake and was happy she was not alone. Knowing she would not be alone was one less thing for him to be worried about. Bella felt sick to her stomach. If Charlie only knew that this whole thing was about her; all the deaths in Seattle… everything. He would have a heart attack.

She kept herself busy baking for the pack and talking to Emily and the other imprints. She read. She watched movies. She couldn't plan her future because she wasn't entirely sure she was going to have one. Next year. She would do college next year.

Billy Black didn't care if she and Jake slept in the same bed. He said it was crazy to sweat stuff like that when they could all be dead next week. That actually shocked Bella; not that he agreed to them sleeping together but that he thought they might lose the battle with the vampires. She supposed that even if they won, there might be casualties.

Jake had no such doubts. Jake usually managed to get what he wanted. Bella couldn't think of anything Jake did badly. Except maybe… _that_. But that wasn't his fault; it had to be hers. She was _wrong_ somehow and she couldn't see how.

She had the dream didn't she?

Or had she made a mistake?

FF_2154210_ - 1/05/2011 01:29:00 AM


	2. The Tent

Chapter 2 the tent

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing_

The plan was all set. Hours before the time of the meeting, Jake scooped her up in his arms bridal style and carried her up above the cloud cover. She had never been this high in the mountains before.

He carried her effortlessly and easily. There was no chat. Neither was in the mood. She had tried to argue with him about this plan the night before, but he would not hear any objections. He wanted her out of the way and that was the end of it.

She tried to argue that she would be safer in the middle of the wolf pack, but Jake pointed out that she had never been around when they fought vampires and she just didn't know how fast and violent it could be. He pointed out that she had missed them taking down Laurent.

That just reminded her that she seemed to constantly endanger her friends and that made her feel worse. She didn't try arguing again. She started to feel like her death would solve everyone's problems.

They had finally reached the agreed hiding place. Quil had set up the tent so that it backed onto a cliff. It gave it shelter and extra defence she supposed. Jake looked pleased at that.

He and Quil nodded at each other.

Quil looked unhappy. "There is a storm coming," he grunted at Jake.

"There sure is," agreed Jake.

Bella suspected that Quil was actually talking about the weather not the battle; sorry 'meeting' and that Jake had misunderstood him. Regardless he didn't try again.

Jake dropped Bella to her feet. He kept his hands on her. "You'll be okay," he comforted her. "You'll be safe here."

"But you won't," she said.

He rolled his eyes.

"**I'm** not the one in danger," she tried to argue with him. "The whole pack are risking…" she stopped talking when she caught sight of Jake's look. It was the 'Bella you are being an idiot' look. "Sorry," she apologised. "I am just worried about everyone…" Her voice trailed off.

He pulled her into one of his bone crushing hugs. It did make her feel better. His hands reached up to her face and he pulled her towards him. She stood on tiptoe, pressed up against his warm body, with her arms around his waist and he kissed her.

She had another vision.

_She is standing on the grass. It must be the yard of a house. Most houses in Forks or the reservation back onto the forest, so she can't tell which it is. It is the same as before. Jake comes out of the forest; his whole face lighting up as he sees her. But now she has one hand resting on her stomach, as the other lifts in a wave. Her stomach is swelling with another child. His child? The kiss went on and so did the vision. Now she can hear the excited squeals of the little boy and girl. "Momma," they cry excitedly. "Daddy," they add as they run towards her. Now she feels warmth at her back. A giant russet hand presses on her stomach; over hers. _

_**He is behind her**__. Her dream man is standing behind her. And it is __**not**__ Jake. She tries to turn to see him and she literally turned. _

She broke the kiss with Jake and the dream faded.

She almost swore. But one mystery has been solved; Jake is part of her future but he is _not_ her dream man.

Jake looked pleased again after their passionate kiss. He kissed her forehead gently. "I'll be back," he whispered. "Stay safe. It'll be fine." He nodded at Quil, turned and jogged away. He looked fierce and determined.

Bella looked devastated. Her dream had been altered dramatically.

She almost called out to Jake to stay with her.

Quil looked at her perceptively. "He wouldn't stay if you asked him to."

"I know," she agreed and she did know that. He was a fighter; he was angry with these vampires and nothing and nobody was going to make him miss this battle.

"Would you take me to the 'meeting' Quil?"

"Oh no," he backpedalled. "No way. I would lose my hide."

She sighed. She looked around the campsite. It all looked good. She didn't go camping often, but it looked like Quil knew what he was doing. "Thanks Quil," she said. "It all looks good."

He didn't look much happier.

Quil **was **missing the battle and he did not look happy about it.

"I'm sorry you have to stay and babysit me," she apologised.

"Yeah that sucks," he agreed. "But it is not you… it is this stupid tent plan." He glared at the tent as if it was its fault. "This is a stupid idea," he huffed. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…"

She was shocked. "Why?"

He waved at the tent. "It's a tent," he said in a 'duh' kind of voice. "No solid walls… they could just tear it and rip you out of it… they're vampires… they could tear a hole in a freaking wall if they wanted to… this is like paper to them… it's no kind of defence at all… and I can't guard all the sides… I am only one wolf you know…" He suddenly caught sight of her face and realised he might be freaking her out more. He shut his mouth with a snap.

"It'll be fine," he repeated in an echo of Jake. But she knew he didn't believe that.

"You didn't say any of this at the meeting," Bella pointed out. He wasn't listening at all at the meeting, she recalled.

"No," he agreed. "I didn't say anything."

He held open the tent flap for her. She went inside. There was some food, water and unexpectedly, a battered copy of Pride and Prejudice. It was hers from the Black house.

She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Your favourite book," he said.

"Yes." She thought he was sweet to fetch that for her.

They settled in. Neither felt like talking. She assumed Quil was still sulking about missing the battle.

"I have to phase now," he said

She just nodded.

He left the tent and zipped her inside.

Time passed. She read for a while. The storm Quil had predicted finally arrived. The temperature plummeted. It was June and summer, but at this altitude a storm could blow in from anywhere. The tent was against the cliff but it was still exposed. Bella took off her boots and climbed inside the sleeping bag. She listened to the wind howl and push at the tent. It made her jump a little every time.

The there was a wet slap against the material; it had started to snow.

She huddled down in the sleeping bag; curled up as well as she could manage. She was so cold. And so frightened.

Maybe it was just the final straw. The last few weeks have been a living nightmare for her. It was probably a shock reaction; the last few weeks… God, the last few months… have been the most emotionally exhausting of her short life. Her final exams were stressful enough, without adding in taking her relationship to the next level and being hunted by vampires.

It was too much. She was tired… and cold… and worn out… and she felt like crying. And now she was here for her own protection… but people she knew were risking their lives for her. People she loved. Even if she didn't love them like_ that_.

Images of the pack flitted through her mind. Seth, the adorable puppy was out there… risking his life for her. And Sam and Paul and Jared and… All their faces flashed across her memory.

She had read the newspapers as they counted the bodies in Seattle. The dead and the missing. Every soul weighed more heavily on hers. They had died because of** her**. She hadn't killed them herself, but she may as well have.

They had died to make up the numbers for Victoria's squad. Or to feed it.

She had fallen in love with a vampire and this whole thing had started with that simple act.

And then he had abandoned her. She got his logic. She understood. It would have been nice if he had bothered to explain it to her properly, before he made a decision for them both and just left. It took her a while to understand that he had just lied to her. He thought her weak humanity would allow her to forget him. He still loved her; he had just pretended not to because that was the only thing that would make her let him go. Even then, it was lucky he could move so fast because she had tried to follow him within minutes.

She wondered if Edward knew about Victoria. He must. Alice can see the future. Was she so unimportant to the Cullens now that Alice didn't bother to check in on her future anymore? So much for her so called best friend. She wondered if Alice had been in touch with the tribe and if they had kept her out of it; for her own good, no doubt. Probably not. They were mortal enemies and all.

Edward could read minds. He of all people should have known how Victoria felt about James. He should have seen what Victoria was capable of thinking and planning.

She wondered how she would deal with it if Edward came back to protect her too. He hadn't. He was not here. She was in a tent on a cliff face with a lone wolf; Quil Ateara.

Did she still love Edward? Yes. But she had no 'closure'; she hated that word. But it served here.

He had left her. He had told her that his world was not for her; that he didn't want her and that she was not good for him. In her months of catatonia she had realised something. He had always done things to 'protect' her without discussing it with her. She strongly suspected that his and his family's departure was another such thing. He was still making decisions for her. And that one was so unfair. To tell her all those lies; to make her think it was_ her_ fault. That she was worthless to him.

She had spent four months thinking over that scene. Now she understood how well he had engineered it; but then he had always arranged everything perfectly hadn't he?

Perhaps if he had told her that he adored her and would do anything for her; even leave her. That she could have understood. Then she would not have been so broken. She would have known that somewhere out there was a blindingly perfect man who loved her enough to leave her. **That** knowledge would have made her glow.

FF_2154210_ - 1/05/2011 11:14:00 PM


	3. Something more

**Chapter 3 Something more**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella looked back now at her relationship with Edward and could not believe what she had accepted from him as normal. Watching her sleep? She used to think it was romantic; now she thought it bordered on weird. It was okay to watch people sleep if they **knew** you were there, but not if you snuck into their bedroom and stood in the corner like some malignant hat stand. God knows what she had said in her sleep too.

Quil must have phased back; his human head appeared in the tent flap. He interrupted her reverie.

"Nothing happening yet. You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. But she really wasn't. "Thanks for telling me." She can't communicate with him when he is in wolf form. Well, she can talk to him, but he can't talk to her.

"Okay," he withdrew but she can hear him still muttering to himself about the dumbass tent idea and how stupid it is. He's muttering pretty damn loudly if she can hear him over the storm. One very unhappy wolf there she thought.

Time passed. The storm ramped up its attack. The tent moved and flapped. She was already stressed enough, but now she jumped at every noise. Her jaw ached from grinding her teeth together. Her knuckles were white where they clutched at the sleeping bag.

She was cold. Even inside the sleeping bag. Cold to the core.

"Qu…qu …Quil?" she finally managed to stutter out.

His head popped in. "Jesus," he exclaimed. "Oh that is **it**… fuck this for a joke." He came inside the tent and zipped up the flap behind him. "Fuck… Bella…" he just stood there and stared at her.

"W..wh…what?"

"You're blue," he stated. He leant forward and touched her face with his hand. He was so warm.

"C..co…cold."

There was a beat and then he blinked and started to collect stuff. He picked up her boots but then looked at her and just stuffed them inside the sleeping bag with her. She couldn't work out what he was doing; she was so cold, she could barely think anymore.

"W-what are you…?"

"There is no point protecting you, to have you die of hypothermia B," he said. "I can't take you out of the sleeping bag to put your boots on, but you might need them later," he explained. "So we are bringing them. We're moving house." He just announced it; no discussion.

She opened her mouth to speak but her teeth started to chatter.

Quil continued to grumble. "No one knew this storm was going to blow in… I mean it's freaking June for fuck's sake…" he muttered as he was packing. "I can't take you back to the rez… we need to move B… There's this cave… I found it on patrol …I sleep there sometimes …so it's got bedding… well as much as I can make out of the forest… and some supplies…"

He touched her face again. God his hand was so warm. "A cave can be blocked… it's warm, dry… better than here… I can even protect you better there…" he explained.

She looked confused.

"There's just one problem…"

She waited for him to tell her what it was.

"We have to go out… in the storm… to get there…"

She understood. She thought she_ might_ die if they move but she **knows** she will die if they stay here.

She nodded to show him she agreed.

"I will carry you and you can carry everything else," he told her straight faced.

She tried to smile at him. Fancy making a joke now. Only Quil. She liked that about him.

"Okay?" he asked.

She nodded again.

He turned and opened the tent flap.

He zipped her and the few items he had packed up inside the bag. He pulled the cord around the hoodie part of the sleeping bag so that it covered her head up too. He scooped her up. He was only wearing his cut-offs. He was bare-chested and he was so warm. It amazed her. She clutched at her boots, the food bag and the water bottle. Everything else was non essential and had been left behind. She glanced at her book and left it. The tent looked trashed. They didn't really have time to tidy it up.

She couldn't hang onto him. She wanted to. He carried her like she was a big caterpillar; cocooned. Oddly, she felt safe for the first time in days.

He turned with her in his arms and looked at the tent. It was already half buried in the snow.

She guessed that he was wondering if they were doing the right thing. She sure hoped so. He just turned again and jogged off through the storm. He pulled her in close and her face pressed against his naked chest. She pressed her face in against his warm skin. She could feel pins and needles in her cheek hurting where she touched him and she started to defrost.

He felt like Jake and he didn't. Quil hunched his shoulders over her. He tucked her in against him; he protected her as well as he could from the weather with his own body.

He ran. The snow melted as it hit his skin. She felt as if she was in some kind of cold induced trance as she stared, fascinated at the snow melting as it hit his beautiful russet skin.

"You're hot," she stuttered out insanely. Truthfully, he was. The burly boy of her memories had filled out in a truly spectacular way with the wolf transformation.

He snorted and kept running. His long, loping pace eating up the miles.

"We are nearly there…" he encouraged. "Don't you quit on me B."

Time blurred. She could hear his voice, but no longer understand his words.

B. He called her B. It's cute. She decided that she liked it. Her eyes closed. Each time she opened them she had lost chunks of time.

They must have reached the cave. She was nearly unconscious. She could smell different air. The noise of the storm was muted here. He placed her gently on a pile of dried foliage that had been piled on the floor of the cave. She was still cocooned in the sleeping bag.

She could hear him swear and mutter to himself. He was worried about her. He moved about the cave; suddenly light blossomed from a small Coleman lantern. He must have left it there before.

She saw his face as he leant over her and looked at her.

She studied him in the light. Jake was always protective of his time with her; he had always chased away Quil and Embry when they wanted to check her out. She had even heard him threaten them if they set foot on his land, when they were fixing the bikes. The sum total of her time with Quil was a couple of meetings in Jake's garage and that day when she had offered him a lift in her truck and dropped him off at the shop. The day he had been so worried about Sam's cult, Jake and Embry. He had tried to chase them through the forest and they had lost him. He had been walking along the road looking dejected when Bella picked him up.

His shoulders were wider than Jake's. He was not as tall as Jake, but he was wider, bigger around the chest… he was just more… She had never thought about it before. Quil was everything Jake was …and _more_? He had that something extra; that small thing.

It must be the cold. She was losing her mind. Maybe it was the early stages of hypothermia.

Her mind wandered off on its own.

What made someone attractive to you? Why did _you_ think they were sexy? It was different for each person. That indefinable attraction; how they looked, even how they smelt. Attraction wasn't just about good looks, for her it was usually **first **looks. Like Edward in the cafeteria that day. He had just walked in the door and whammo… she was gone. She knew some people didn't believe in attraction at first sight; but she did. Maybe it was all the romantic novels she read.

How do you know you like someone? What was it about that particular person that attracted you? What was that something _more_? The something that kept you around long enough to look for the next something to keep you around. Was it the way they smiled? Or tilted their head? Or frowned when they were thinking?

Quil frowned at her now. Then he disappeared.

He moved around the cave. She closed her eyes. Then she heard something that jolted her out of her daze. A rock fall. She tried to sit up but couldn't.

"It's okay," Quil comforted her at the wild look on her face. "I collapsed the overhang," he explained. He brushed dirt from his shoulders. He must have collapsed it onto himself.

He gave her a Quil trademark grin. "Swept over our tracks and shut the front door."

He looked her over again. He opened the hoodie around her face and kept unzipping the sleeping bag and his hands started to reach inside for her.

She protested weakly. He was undoing her parka. God, his hands were so warm. How could his hands be so warm? She grabbed one and he jolted. "Fuck B, you are freezing."

She made some small moaning noise.

"I don't know what to do," he confessed. "I have to warm you up… I can't light a fire in here with the opening shut… there's a ventilation shaft at the back but the smoke would give us away… but I don't want to worry the pack… I have to phase to stay in touch… but I worry … I want them to know we are okay but I don't want them to know where we are… as a double back up… you know?"

"Phase," she muttered. "…still… warm…"

"Oh," he frowned. "You want me to phase? Okay, if you want to hug a wolf."

She tried to smile at him but her face hurt.

He started taking his pants off and she closed her eyes. She wasn't preserving his dignity, she just passed out.

She managed to open her eyes as an extremely warm animal pressed in close to her. The sleeping bag and her jacket were open now and the animal had pressed up close to her. It was dark brown… and warm… its face was paler than the rest of its body… and it looked… worried about her. It whined. It licked her face. Its warm breath gusting onto her.

"Mmm…" she mumbled. "Chocolate… wolf…"

FF_2154210_ - 3/05/2011 02:17:00 PM


	4. Protection

**Chapter 4 protection**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**Meanwhile:**

The clearing almost hummed with the tension rising from each side of the meeting. Victoria had the newborns under better control than Jake would have initially given her. She was a dangerous opponent indeed. She had appointed a second; a blond male who seemed to keep them under control with a brutal hand.

Sam, as Alpha, and Victoria spoke at some distance apart. Sam was in human form of course. The rest of the pack twitched nervously behind him. She repeated her offer to leave if they gave her Bella.

Sam had sent Seth earlier to check on them when Quil did not report in for a while. He was quick and he had the best eyesight in the pack. He found the tent but there was no sign of Bella or Quil.

The tent had been torn apart. His keen eyes could see it as he approached. Bella's belongings were strewn all over the snow. He broadcast the images back to the pack immediately. Her favourite novel had been shredded and it reeked of the sickly sweet vampire scent.

The meeting with the vampires went downhill from there. Jake argued that the attack on the tent was a breach of faith, as if vampires even had any. It quickly turned into the battle that Bella had feared.

Seth assured Jake that they must have left just before the vampires found the location. There was no scent of blood around, but the storm had obscured whatever trail they might have left. He can't scent them either with the covering of snow and the interference with the vampire stench. He scouts around as much as he can, but doesn't pick up their trail and by then, he was needed back at the battle. Quil had not phased back yet and the pack feared the worst.

Jake went berserk. His rage and frustration fed into his anger at the disappearance of Bella and Quil. He was unstoppable. He frightened his own pack. Sam stepped back and Jake led.

And the whole pack followed.

They fought. They tore into the vampires like the well trained team they were. The pack mind worked brilliantly in battle. And as an unexpected bonus, when their Alpha went berserk, so did the** entire **pack.

The pack had no casualties, but it did have more than a few wounds. But they had won. The smoke of many vampire pyres filled the field where they had fought. Some had escaped but not the ring leaders; Jake made sure of that. He tore Victoria apart himself; it was personal after all, she had made it so. She screeched at him as she died… again. In her arrogance and her anger, she had not made _quite_ enough newborns for her squad. She had peaked too soon. But there was no way Jake was allowing any leader who might have absorbed her strategy and her thirst for revenge to survive.

The few escaped vampires would be sure to tell all others to stay away from this area. The pack had marked its territory. The vampires had never struck anything before quite as unstoppable as an entire pack of berserk werewolves.

At some point, during the battle, Quil phased in and assured Jake that he and Bella were fine. He wouldn't tell them where they were. Jake was not happy but he understood Quil's logic.

Jake collapsed after the battle and the exhausted pack carried him home. They had barely started for La Push when they heard the sound of approaching vehicles. Their tribe came to collect them.

Alive or dead, nothing could stop Sue Clearwater collecting her children.

The tribal medic stitched Jake up and bound his broken limbs. He finished with the alpha before he moved on to the rest of the pack. Seniority had advantages after all.

Jake was too wounded to search for Bella himself. Billy and Sam calmed him down and convinced him that she was safe. They convinced him that they will find Bella tomorrow or that Quil will bring her home.

"Tomorrow," he mumbled as he finally fell into an exhausted slumber.

* * *

><p>Bella woke up. She was warm; so warm she was sweating.<p>

She snuggled down against the warm chest in her face. The arms tightened around her. She had been waking up with Jake for days. She inhaled deeply. No, he smelt wrong. This was not Jake.

She opened her eyes and saw muscles and buzz cut hair. It was Quil. Her mind put together the events of yesterday for her: the run through the storm, the cave, her almost freezing to death and sleeping with a big, warm, chocolate wolf.

He was still big and warm but lupine he was not. He must have phased out once he had let the pack know where they were. He did say he wanted to keep their location a secret.

Quil snored.

He looked comfortable. He snuffled and let out another snore. She almost giggled.

He was not only snoring, but he had her clutched solidly in his arms. She doesn't know who moved closer to whom, but at some point during their sleep, they have gravitated closer toward each other. Or maybe he just held her this tight to warm her up and she was so out if it, she didn't know. Her sleeping bag and her jacket are open. She remembered he had done that to try and warm her up. And his arms are wrapped around her under both.

She needed a drink of water, but she didn't want to move. She didn't know what time it was either. The lantern was still lit but set on a very low light.

She studied Quil as he slept. She remembered her first impression of Quil, when she met him in Jake's garage. She had brought Jake the motorbikes to rebuild, when Quil and Embry had interrupted them.

_Excerpt from NM ch6_

_The shorter boy was more burly. His white t shirt strained over his well developed chest, and he seemed gleefully conscious of that fact. His hair was so short it was almost a buzz. The brawny boy kept his eyes on me, a slow smile spreading across his face._

"_Hey Jake," the short one said without looking away from me. I had to smile in response, his grin was so impish. When I did, he winked at me. "Hi there."_

And after she left the garage…

_I giggled quietly. The sound made my eyes widen in wonder. I was laughing, actually laughing, and there wasn't even anyone watching. I felt so weightless that I laughed again, just to make the feeling last longer. _

How supremely confident he was, when they had met that first time. He had winked at her right in front of Jake. He knew how Jake felt about her and he had still done it. But this was the same Quil who had been grounded the time they went to the movies with Mike Newton, because he had asked some other guy's serious girlfriend out and got in a fight as a result.

She squirmed around and he loosened his hold on her a little; he emitted a louder snort.

It was like sleeping with Jake and not like it. Jake didn't snore for one. She remembered her thought about Quil being _more_ than Jake. She was held against his chest and under his arms. She looked down, and then up again quickly. He was naked. She almost rolled her eyes at herself. Of course he was naked. The sleeping bag mercifully obscured his groin.

His tribal tattoo was on his right shoulder like all the pack members.

She wanted to touch him. She reached out and so carefully touched the tribal tattoo. She traced over the design and bit at her bottom lip. A small part of her was asking her what on earth she thought she was doing. But a louder, larger part of her wanted to touch him. He didn't wake at her touch.

His mouth hung open. He made small snuffling noises as he breathed. She touched his nose to get him to stop snoring and then she did not want to withdraw her hand. She kept touching his face. Her hand ran from his face down to his chest. She rubbed his chest.

He still didn't wake up … he could sleep through anything.

She wondered how fast he would wake up if a vampire came. She hoped one didn't. He said he had obscured the front of the cave, brushed out their tracks where the overhang was and collapsed the rock down onto himself. He had said he would dig them out later.

The air shaft at the back pumped some fresh air into the cave. But the air in the cave was warm and the staler air made her feel … not sleepy… more mellow almost. She was usually so nervous and agitated. But here with Quil she was calm.

She was rested and warm. And calm.

For the first time in weeks she was not worried about anything. She ought to be, but she wasn't.

A thought occurred to her. Was it being close to him? He doesn't get agitated about … well… anything. Look at him; he was comfortable enough now to actually have fallen asleep.

But the tent had worried him. He was better when they reached the cave; he knew they had solid rock at their backs. He was worried before. He wanted to protect her. She wondered if it was because she was Jake's or because he was worried about her.

Did she matter to him?

She wasn't sure why she wanted to know that. She studied him again. The chocolate wolf looked good enough to eat. She wondered what he tasted like. Even the thought surprised her.

She leant in toward his chest and inhaled him. And then she paused for a second before letting her tongue poke out and she licked him.

Quil was awake. He had woken like a soldier; opened his eyes to assess the situation first before he moved a muscle.

Bella hadn't noticed because she was rubbing his chest. That must have been what woke him up. He couldn't move now, because he did not believe what he was seeing. Bella was rubbing his chest. She was tucked in to the front of his body. His arms were around her. He could see her eyelashes; her mouth slightly open; her tongue flicked out and licked her lips. He suppressed a groan.

As he watched, she leant in and sniffed at him. And then she licked him.

His morning wood went Petrified Forest.

He must have moved because she looked up at him and their eyes met.

They both looked surprised for a second but it was quickly replaced with confusion.

"Bella?" he asked.

"I want…" she started to say. Her mouth hung open… caught on her thought.

What did she want? She wanted something… She didn't know what it was. There was this inexpressible longing inside her. She knew she just **wanted**… **more**.

Jake was so careful with her. In a way, just like Edward was. Edward would never allow her to do _anything_. Jake let her be physically reckless but not so emotionally reckless. He had waited for so long before he even tried to kiss her; months even. He kept leaving; missing every opportunity to kiss her. The truck that night he dropped her back; the time she invited him in and he muttered about having vampires to kill.

They had finally had sex. But it was like compensation for Jake. And it was a mistake. She knew that now. It had felt wrong at the time.

She felt broken; damaged. She wanted to be valuable… she wanted to be valuable to someone.

That vision of her future told her she would be.

She must have broadcast all of that through her eyes. Quil seemed to understand what she wanted.

He spoke, "He loves you."

"I know… but…" she shrugged. And then she felt obligated to explain further, "But I don't…" she paused, "…not like that."

"He fixed you," Quil stated.

"I know."

"He's my best friend."

"He's my best friend too," Bella said. "He's just not…" She shook her head again and bit at her lip.

"We can't do this," said Quil.

"Do what?" she asked.

"This…" and then he kissed her.

FF_2154210_ - 3/05/2011 10:00:00 PM


	5. Flames

**Chapter 5 Flames**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella went up in flames. Now** that** was a kiss…

She threw herself at him.

Quil was shocked. He could fight off rabid vampires but he couldn't get a 120lb girl off his chest. He'd be the laughing stock of the pack… if he cared… if he _wanted_ to get her off.

He clutched at her just as eagerly as she grabbed at him.

Quil had always been just the littlest bit reckless; the guy who had been known to ask out other people's girlfriends and he was really reckless now. He should not have kissed her, but damn… he wanted to… so he did.

She tried to say something. She could probably speak if he hadn't tried to take half her face off. He pulled back and breathed for a second.

"Vampires are trying to kill me Quil. If I am going to die," she said. "I want to go out properly… you know… _alive_…"

"Oh that is **IT**…" he said.

He went for it.

And so did she. She had spent weeks being hounded, guarded, protected, and now she let loose.

And Quil was right there with her.

He was already naked. Her little white hands were all over him. Clutching and pressing at him. He almost lost it a dozen times before he asked her for help. She was too busy grabbing at him to help him that much.

"Please B," he moaned. "I need you naked."

They both tried to get her out of her clothes as fast as possible; without actually tearing them apart. Some small piece of common sense stopped them from just tearing them apart. They finally managed it and then they pressed up against each other eagerly.

"Oh… yes…" she said. The feel of his body made her eyes roll back in her head. He felt amazing. All muscled and hot. She plastered herself against him.

He was so hard. She could feel him against her. He was leaking at the top. She reached down to touch him with her hand.

"No," he begged.

She looked hurt for a second. She looked at his face to see why he would not want her to touch him. His face looked so needy.

"You touch me and I will explode," he explained.

"Oh." So it wasn't that he didn't want to. She grinned at him. "Later then," she said.

He went to reach for her and she stopped him too.

"I want you, Quil," she breathed at him. "You," she repeated.

"Fuck, B."

His hands slid down to her thighs and he lifted her, turning her so that her back was on the sleeping bag.

He ignored her instructions and reached down between her legs. "I just have to make sure you are wet enough… I don't want to hurt you."

Wet enough? She was dripping. She jolted as his fingers slid into her. She moaned.

"Damn, girl," he exclaimed.

"Please," she begged. Her hands reached for him.

He used his fingers to hold her open and to guide the head of his cock into her. She inhaled sharply and he looked down at her with a worried expression. She didn't want him to stop, so she lifted slightly and pushed herself at him. He slid inside her. He didn't seem to be as big as Jake and maybe that was a good thing for her.

He withdrew a little and then slid forward again; rocking into her. She wanted him to kiss her again. She reached for his face, pulled his lips toward her. He withdrew from her so that he could kiss her back. As their lips met, she felt something inside her shift.

Then he slid back into her effortlessly. He kept pushing into her and then he thrust into her in one long, smooth movement. Her back arched up and she took him even deeper. They both made a noise; a wordless sound of pleasure mixed with surprise. They fitted together like puzzle pieces.

It was magic.

She had her first real orgasm; she shivered, her mouth opened, gasping for air as he watched her avidly.

She looked so surprised. He grinned at her. She tried to grouse at him but she couldn't speak. He slid a hand down between her legs and before she knew it, she was into her next orgasm.

"Quil," she moaned.

He took pity on her when she had reached the wordless begging stage.

She finally managed to speak three words in a row and he nearly stopped in his surprise. "Fuck me, Quil," she begged.

"B… you said fuck."

"Quil please…" she almost screamed at him.

He spoke between puffs; they were both panting now. "Gotta give the lady what she wants," and he thrust into her hard.

"Aah," she yowled. Her nails sank into his arms. "Yesss," she screamed. "Oh yess," as he slammed into her again and again. It was flawless. She felt like she was falling; she felt how she imagined they did when they were cliff diving. Falling…tumbling over and over mindlessly… until she could barely get any air into her lungs.

He came inside her and they both collapsed onto the pile of foliage. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him where he was. She felt him soften within her.

It took them quite a while to get their breath back.

"Well, I think I am warm now," she commented.

He chuckled. "You comfortable?" he asked.

"Yes. Very. Thank you." And she was, even though she was buried under his chest. She wasn't sure if he could tell what she was thanking him for, so she added, "For everything."

He raised his head. "My pleasure B," he told her. He shifted off her upper body a little so that they could see each other. They remained joined at the groin.

"B. I like that," she told him. "Can I call you Q?"

He chuckled.

There was a pause.

He shifted his hips and she moaned as he brushed against all kinds of sensitive places. He hardened instantly inside her. He stared into her eyes and made another gentle hip movement. Staring intently at her, he bit his lip and lifted into her again. He pressed himself against her and he seemed to hit her in exactly the right spot. It was so unlike their earlier coming together; this was gentle and slow and just as magic. He raised himself up on his arms, over her.

She panted; her eyes shut involuntarily. She wanted to watch him. She forced them open and stared at his gorgeous body. She could see the muscles of his chest and stomach working as he lifted himself so slowly; achingly slowly.

"Oh yes…" she moaned. "Oh… oh… Quil… please… like that…" she clutched at the back of his neck and tried to lift herself into him.

"Shh… slow down girl…" he whispered. "We'll get there…"

She groaned.

He chuckled. "Was that disappointment?" he asked.

She wasn't sure what to actually do, so she just did what felt good. She tried to grab at him with her internal muscles.

"Ohhh…" he muttered. "Oh that feels gooood…"

They churned on each other.

"Damn… B… that is **so** good…"

He reached under her and lifted her body on his arms. He got his knees underneath himself and lifted her up. Her head fell back, her hair swinging free and she let out a deep moan as he pulled her up against his chest and onto his lap. She clutched at his arms and settled against his groin. With his arms around her and her body pressed up against his she felt so warm. She shifted to tuck her feet under her legs.

They sat the same way now. Both kneeling but joined. The puzzle analogy occurred to her again. Or maybe bookends.

She churned on him again at her own speed.

"Oh Quil… you fill me up…"

"Not yet, I haven't," he chuckled.

She lifted herself a little on her knees, sliding up his hard length. She held his head in both hands and kissed him. At the same time she tried to push herself down on him as hard as she could.

"Munnff" he said into her mouth as she plunged onto him. His hands moved to hold her at the side of her breasts. His big hands wrapped around her ribcage and lifted her effortlessly. Then he dropped her onto him.

She cried out. He did it again. Her head snapped back and she uttered another wordless cry. She didn't lose the power of speech but she lost the power of language. She had no idea what she was saying or even if it was English. She wondered at some of the noises she heard come out of her own mouth.

In the end she reached a point where she just seemed to keep inhaling; gasping in air in little panting breaths. Followed by her whole body locking up; she stayed like that for a beat, staring into Quil's face and then all the air come out in a great moaning rush as she climaxed. All over him.

He had tensed too as he filled her with his own heated rush. He emptied himself into her.

They clung to each other.

He slid gently out of her, lowered her smoothly to the sleeping bag. She was boneless; her eyes were closed. He snuggled in against her and covered her with the other half of the sleeping bag.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"I thought you were out for the count," he noted.

"No, I'm still here."

They fell asleep together. Wrapped up around each other.

She woke a couple times. She needed to go the toilet and Quil told her to piss in the back corner of the cave. She felt quite self conscious about it, but digging themselves out to preserve her dignity was just not an option. He stayed human now. She didn't ask and he didn't say anything. They shared the contents of the food bag. The cave was warm and she felt sleepy again. They lay together on the floor. It was early morning by now.

"You weren't a virgin," he commented.

"No… Jake," she explained.

"You tried?" asked Quil.

"You didn't know?" She would have thought the whole pack would know that. That whole shared mind thing freaked her out sometimes.

"No," he sounded surprised. "He must have kept that under wraps."

"I tried with him, Quil… but we only did it the once." She made a noise.

"What?" he asked.

"Well… how can I say this… it wasn't very good," she admitted.

Quil smiled at her; it was half proud, half torn. "Jake was no good at something?" he asked disbelievingly.

They both chuckled.

"No," she admitted. "It wasn't him. It was me. Jake is utterly gorgeous. Any woman would be proud to have him but it just didn't work for me… I don't know... I think perhaps my heart wasn't in it." When she said that they both realized the implication. She started to draw on his skin with her fingertips.

They stared at each other.

Quil chose to dissemble. "It was your first time… that's always tricky."

"What? You go around deflowering virgins, Quil?" she asked. She meant it as a joke but he answered her truthfully.

"One or two," he sounded conflicted again. As if he did and didn't want her to know that.

"I know…" she stated. "You were a bit of a man whore."

"I like women," he blustered. Then he stopped. "Hey, you said 'were'," he pointed out.

"I did, didn't I?"

They stared at each other again.

"It was different with us…" she confessed. "Than it was with Jake… you know…"

"**That** was magic," he said.

"I know," she agreed. "It really was. We just fitted together…"

"…perfectly," he finished.

The studied each other.

"The only negative was missing the fight. If it is even over, yet," Quil added.

As he said that they both came back to earth with a thump. "The fight," he repeated stupidly.

She sighed.

"What next B?" he asked.

"Is there an 'us' Quil?" her voice was so quiet.

"They'll know the second I phase," he admitted. "I can't keep it quiet."

"They'll know the second they see us or smell us," she pointed out.

"The cave reeks of sex as well," he admitted.

"Yes and I need… a cloth or something… to clean up."

"Use the sleeping bag," he suggested. "It's all I've got."

"But you **need **to phase. It's been long enough now. You have to check in and make sure they are all okay." She hugged him. "Make sure no one is injured, find out if we won."

"Fuck, B, that's a thought."

"We did win, right Quil?"

He tilted his head suddenly. "Get dressed," he barked at her. "Somebody's coming."

"Friend or foe?" she asked.

FF_2154210_ - 5/05/2011 02:06:00 PM


	6. Friend or foe

**Chapter 6 Friend or foe**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

"Friend or foe?" Bella asked.

"I don't know…" Quil admitted. And then he put his finger over his lips. She nodded. No talking.

He was still naked and he moved stealthily towards the front of the cave. Bella watched him even though she was supposed to be getting dressed. He was seriously distracting. Then she realised the implications if it _was_ a friend and they were both naked. She started scrabbling around looking for her clothes. She almost prayed it was a vampire. **That** Quil could deal with.

She used the corner of the sleeping bag to wipe herself. She found her bra and shirt. They were almost tied up inside each other; they had been in such a hurry to get them off. She put the shirt on and stuffed the bra into the sleeping bag. She couldn't find her panties, so she just put her jeans back on. She had never gone commando before. It felt … different.

The rocks at the cave front trembled.

"Quil?" it was a harsh whisper.

"Embry?" He sounded relieved.

"You okay?"

Quil glanced at her. "Yeah we are both fine." He waved at her to hurry up with putting on her clothes. She waved back at him to show him he was still naked too. She threw his cut-offs at him and he slipped them on.

"What happened?" Quil asked.

"We won… kicked some serious ass…"

"Dude…" Quil looked pleased. "That rocks…"

Bella interrupted. "Nobody was…" She couldn't bring herself to finish that question.

"No casualties." She could hear Embry better now as he pulled away rocks from the cave mouth. "What happened here?" he asked.

Quil and Bella shared a significant glance.

"I collapsed the overhang for cover…" Quil explained.

Bella tried to find her boots and socks. Her hands were shaking. Quil frowned at her and then came to help her. She sat down with a thump. She was not ready for the implications of what they had done. Quil was right; the second he phased the whole pack would know. Jake… Holy Crow what was she going to do about Jake?

"You can't phase," she hissed at him.

He had her socks in his hand. He pulled her foot onto his thigh, like he would have with a little kid and slid her sock on to her foot.

He looked at her.

"I have to tell him… I owe him that," she whispered. She stamped her foot into her boot and reached for the other one. Quil beat her to it.

Embry had started to break through the opening enough so that they could see his face. The fresh air rushed into the cave. He must have got the first whiff of them.

His face looked mischievous for a second. "What have you been doing?" and then he realised what he had said and his face fell. "Oh Jesus…Quil…" he sounded horrified.

Quil stood slowly and faced his friend. He was still holding Bella's boot in his hand. He picked at it and looked down at the ground. And then he seemed to make a decision; he inhaled deeply; he lifted his head and he stared Embry down.

"She wants to speak to Jake first, Embry."

Bella could not say anything in her defence.

Embry just stood there looking at them both for a minute and then he nodded and kept pulling at the debris in the doorway. Bella hopped over to get her other boot. Quil crouched down and guided her foot into it. She leant one hand on his shoulder. His hand held her leg at the calf. It was such an intimate gesture; it touched her. She put her hand on his buzz cut head. His hair felt softer than she thought it would; it was like velvet.

She glanced up to see Embry watching them with a worried expression.

Quil stood up and moved over to Embry. They whispered together as they continued to clear the doorway. She watched them and then turned and tried to pull her stuff together.

Her heart felt heavy in her chest. What was she going to say to Jake? _I thought I was going to die…_ well she hadn't expired, even if she felt like doing it now. How about, _I don't really love you_… ouch… true but bad timing …_ I love you like a brother_ … well she might know what that meant if she had a brother… How would he feel? Betrayed? Hurt?

He had just fought an army of vampires for her and she had… betrayed him. He was going to go ballistic.

Embry and Quil's discussion was slightly louder now, though she still couldn't hear them clearly without wolf hearing.

"Is Jake okay?" she asked. "I mean was he injured… in the battle… you know…"

Embry just looked at her. Then his eyes dropped and he sighed. "Seth found the tent. It had been torn apart by vampires. You weren't there. Quil wasn't phased. We didn't know where you were or if you were okay. Either of you."

Bella pressed a hand onto her chest; it hurt. "He thought…"

"Seth **said** there was no blood… but we didn't know if you were okay…"

Quil looked guilty. Bella looked devastated.

"We must have just left." Quil looked at her. "We must have _just _missed them."

Bella gasped as she realised what he meant.

"It was lucky I suppose…" Embry admitted. "Why did you leave?"

"Bella was blue… I mean she was **blue**… the early stages of hypothermia. She would have died if we had stayed there in the tent."

"She might have died when the vamps found you," Embry pointed out.

"What did Jake do?" Bella asked. She knew Jacob Black, he would have done something.

"He went berserk; I have never seen him… I have never seen **anythin**g like it before…he killed half the vampires by himself. We just followed him."

"Yeah, that'd be right," muttered Quil.

"No, Quil, you don't understand… we _followed_ him…"

"Shit, don't tell me…"

"Yeah, he stepped up..."

"Fuck!" Quil swore.

"What's wrong?" asked Bella worriedly.

Embry looked at her again. "He's the Alpha now Bella. He was so angry at what he thought the vampires had done to you, that he wanted to lead. He never had a reason to, before now. He's the pack leader now."

"Oh man and I touched his girl…" muttered Quil. "He's gonna tear me apart."

"We'll run away together," Bella blurted out.

Quil gave her a tremulous smile. "Aww sweetie we can't do that…" He approached her and held her by the shoulders, looking down into her fevered face. "We can't run away. Leave the pack, the tribe, our families, our friends… we can't do that B." He hugged her to his chest and ran his hand down her hair. She made a small hiccupping sob noise.

"I-I don't want you hurt," she sobbed out.

"Did you two imprint?" asked Embry.

"Fuck…no, I don't think so… I mean I don't know what it feels like…" Quil mumbled as he held Bella to his chest. She looked so tiny held up against him.

He looked down at her. "You can go…" he said. "If you think he will hurt you… but I know Jake and…"

"Jake would never hurt _me_…" she argued. "Holy crow Quil, we haven't even discussed what we **are **going to do… if there is even an 'us'…" she pointed out.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I know… but… you know what B?"

She looked up at him. "What?" she asked.

"I want there to be an 'us'; I really do. I'll stand with you… we can talk to him together… if you want me to…"

"Oh Quil," she sighed. Her face was open and beatific. She looked like she adored him for offering to be with her. She stood on tiptoes and she kissed him. Quil kissed her back and then they seemed to forget Embry's presence and the kiss deepened. Quil's hand slid down her back and pulled her up hard against him.

Embry cleared his throat. They jumped apart guiltily.

"Sorry dude," muttered Quil.

They were still holding hands. Embry took note of it all.

"So Jake was injured?" Bella pressed. She realised that he wasn't here now to collect her and really, being severely injured was the only thing that would have stopped him.

"He was," admitted Embry. "But he was pretty well healed when I left." He gave Quil a look. "I knew about the cave and I looked here first. No one else knows I am here, or where it is."

"Thanks Em," said Quil. Then he turned to Bella. "If we go down together and if neither of us phase… can Jake phase?" he asked Embry suddenly.

He shrugged. "I dunno maybe not until tomorrow…"

"Okay," continued Quil. "If we don't phase, then you can speak to him first. If that is what you want B."

"Oh Quil… I don't want to hurt him…"

"I know B… I know…" he comforted her.

Embry watched them together.

"How long has this," he gestured at them, "been going on?"

"It hasn't," answered Bella. She looked so surprised by his question. "Well last night was the first…"

"Seriously? You two are carrying on like newlyweds … you should see it…" He frowned again, "Are you sure about the imprinting… I mean he might let you off for that…"

"I hate imprinting and now I am wishing it **had** happened," muttered Quil.

"Why do you hate it?" asked Bella.

"I feel that it takes away our choices… we already have so much shit to deal with… we turn into balls of fur, we have to fight the undead, we can't even choose our own girlfriend?"

"I suppose…" Bella commented.

"Have you seen Sam and Emily?" Embry asked, "Yeesh… its barf worthy." And then he grinned mischievously, "Just like you two."

Quil punched him in the shoulder. Bella cringed at the sound; but Embry just laughed. She felt better when she heard that, for some reason. It was a big issue, but it was not the end of the world. It just might feel like that to Jake though, she thought.

"We should get going," she suggested.

"I'll carry you," Quil insisted.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Don't give me that," he insisted. "Jake is going to be shitty enough with me as it is, the last thing I need is for you to hurt yourself on the walk back. Plus we will be faster carrying you."

She huffed at him, but he was right. Her stomach rumbled. "I'm starving," she moaned. She looked around the cave; they had eaten everything they had brought already.

Quil reached across and grabbed an old coffee tin from an indented shelf on the wall of the cave. He opened it and handed her a strip of beef jerky. He shrugged at the look she gave him. "It's all I've got," he blustered.

She felt bad, "I'm sorry, Quil; I am sure it will get me through." She touched him on the arm and they stopped and stared at each other again.

Embry rolled his eyes. He noticed something on the floor, picked it up and threw it at Quil's head. It was Bella's panties. Quil made a noise of surprise and then grabbed them and stuffed them in the pocket of his cut offs.

"Look, just leave everything. It'll be fine here," he stated. Embry turned the lantern off. Bella put her parka back on. "Let's just get this over and done with," Quil said. He reached for Bella again and scooped her up.

This time she could put her arm around his shoulders and snuggle into his neck. "I wanted to do this last night," she whispered to him. He hugged her in against him and pressed his lips against her forehead.

They left the cave. To face the light of day.

FF_2154210_ - 6/05/2011 04:36:00 AM


	7. The forest

**Chapter 7 The forest**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

They made a good pace down the mountain side. Embry and Quil were so surefooted. Bell had to admit that she would probably have fallen on her face in the first fifteen minutes. In the daylight, she could see just how high up they were.

The forest filled the skyline. It was spectacular.

She loved the forest now. This was a recent thing for her. She can remember getting lost behind her own house when Edward left her and she stupidly ran into the forest to follow him. Stupid because there was no way she could have caught up to him; he ran at vampire pace after all.

That was her first sight of the wolf pack; had she known it. Sam had found her. The big, black wolf that looked down on her in her dreams for weeks afterwards. She had very vague memories of that night. Sam finding her, speaking to her, and carrying her home. He, Paul and Jared; standing, half naked in Charlie's living room while the doctor checked her over and Charlie panicked.

She couldn't say when the forest had changed from being scary to being familiar.

But now, in Quil's arms… she realised that she loved the forest. She thought about her vision. She had known those small children were hers; known it in her heart. They were little, maybe two or three. Close together in age. And they had run out of the forest. Not frightened. Not scared.

The forest… the setting of so many bad scenes from the fairy tales of her youth. Snow white? Lost in the forest. Nearly killed by the woodsman. Little red riding hood? Hansel and Gretel? Sleeping Beauty surrounded by an impenetrable forest. Even in other cultures, it was the same. In Medieval French romances, the lady lived in the forest. The Russians and Slavs had Baba Yaga who lived in the forest in her house with chicken legs. To get into her house you had to recite "Turn your back to the forest, your front to me". Shakespeare did it with a Midsummer's night dream. And modern fables too. Tolkien wrote that the forest was the last remaining place of mystery and magic in his world. The home of the elves. Even Harry Potter stayed out of the forest around Hogwarts; it was the home of runaway cars, the giant spiders and the centaurs, and no one went in there.

In all of these stories, the forest served as the place of transformation. Girls went in and came out transformed; children became stronger, heroes met talking animals, and fought dragons. They fought their way through the forest to kiss the sleeping princess. It was the place of unicorns and magic.

And if you didn't change; if you didn't find your inner strength, then the forest would chew you up and spit you out. It had almost spat her out. She had run into the forest after Edward. She had emerged a different girl; carried in the arms of a werewolf.

Her first discussion with Edward was in the forest. When she realised what he was. Her first meeting of the pack. Lost and found… in the forest.

The forest meant so much to her now.

She used to think it was too green here, but now she thought it was perfect. She could not imagine living in Arizona with her mother now. It was dry, desolate and too bright for her now. If that vision was correct, then the forest was her future. The place her children played without fear; they came running out of it laughing. Was it because they had Jake with them? The pack looked after its own. Was he their protector, even if he wasn't their father?

If she was with Quil, did that make her pack?

Was_ that _what the vision was trying to tell her?

She worried herself into a daze long before they got back to La Push. She kept pressing her lips against Quil's neck and he would hug her in against him and murmur comforting noises at her. Embry kept watching them together.

They were almost at the edge of the forest when Embry stepped in front of them; stopping Quil where he stood. "Give her to me, Quil," he said.

Quil unconsciously pulled her closer. "Why?" he sounded suspicious.

She was completely unable to speak for herself.

"Do you want to tell him or do you want him to see it for himself?" he gestured at them. "Let me… Come on Quil."

Quil's shoulders dropped and then he handed her across like a parcel. Embry walked in front and Quil dropped behind. They exited the forest and walked straight into the Black backyard. Of course, Seth saw them first.

Seth darted out the back door; the screen door banging as he bounded towards them.

"You're okay," he almost squealed. Embry had put her down on her feet as Seth had burst out the back door.

She managed to avoid his hug, and she checked out his injuries instead. She was terrified he would be able to smell Quil on her.

"You _are_ okay?" she asked. Her heart started to pound in her chest.

"Yeah… nothing that a few days can't heal."

"How's Jake?"

"Not happy about having his leg re-broken… it had already started to heal… you know how fast the healing rate is for us… but the medic dosed him up on some drugs… even though he burnt those off pretty fast too." Seth prattled away in his usual fashion.

"I should check in at home," she heard Quil say. She stared at the ground and avoided his glance. She could not deal with that right now. He jogged away. He stared at the ground as he went. Embry said nothing.

She walked slowly to the back door. She did not want to do this. Her feet were so heavy, she had trouble lifting them. She almost tripped on the back step but let herself into the oh-so familiar Black house. She used the toilet and washed her face. She thought about taking a shower but realised she was just delaying the inevitable. She stood outside Jake's room; working up the guts to see him. She inhaled deeply and stepped inside.

He lay on the bed, mercifully covered with a quilt so she could not see the full extent of the damage. But just the fact that he was still in bed was enough to tell her how injured he had been. Embry had lied just a little saying he was almost healed.

His eyes opened and he saw her. He smiled at her. The Jake smile for Bella; the one that half split his face.

"We won," he said in a low voice.

"I heard," she answered.

He held an arm out to her. "Come here," he instructed. She had been nervously hanging by the door. As massive as Jake was, she knew now that he could be broken. He was already so injured because of her. She was not sure she had it in her to shatter him anymore. She couldn't tell him about Quil; not right now. She would do it later… yeah… that would work… she would tell him tomorrow.

When he was all healed. _So you can break him again?_ Queried a little voice in her head. She ignored it.

If he got upset now he would strain or re-break something. That was her justification.

Seth had mentioned re-breaking his bones because they had started to heal before they got him back to the house. She didn't want him to be doing that a third time. She was a coward, but she just couldn't tell him the truth now.

Jake was still holding his arm up. Still waiting for her. A frown creased his brow for a second, but then she took a stumbling step towards him.

"I don't want to hurt you," she muttered. Well, that was the truth.

One side of him seemed less injured and she approached him from that side.

"Pfft," he said. "You are a marshmallow Swan. You can't hurt me." He tucked her in under his arm and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Ugh," he commented. "You smell like Quil."

Holy Crow! She thought her heart would leap out of her chest.

"We had to leave the tent. I got too cold. He said I was blue." She was chattering inanely. Anything to cover up the guilty pounding of her heart.

Jake muttered something else. "Uh-huh."

"He carried me through the storm. We hid in a cave he had found. That's probably why I smell like him."

She looked at him. He looked asleep. His long lashes lay over his cheeks.

"Jake?"

"Mumph?"

"Why don't you sleep? I need to get home. And I will have a shower and something to eat. I can come visit you tomorrow. You'll be one hundred percent by then, right?"

"Mumph."

She took that as a 'yes'.

She shrugged herself out from under his arm. She pulled up the quilt and brushed the hair away from his forehead. She asked herself for about the millionth time, why he was not the right one for her. She shuffled, heart sick, out to the kitchen.

Billy must have seen her face. "Don't worry Bella," he reassured her. "He'll be fine by tomorrow." And that made her feel so much better. Not.

"I have to get home Billy, Charlie might be home and he will be wondering where I am."

"Yes, he will."

"I told Jake I would be back tomorrow."

Billy nodded.

She scraped together the few things she had left in the house. Got her bag and her truck keys and headed out the front. She walked around the truck and Quil was waiting for her.

"Quil," she breathed.

He didn't look happy. "You didn't tell him," he stated.

He must have listened in. "No. I couldn't." Her hands nervously twisted around each other. "He was already so broken. I just… couldn't. What if he broke a bone again?" What was wrong with her? Quil was too close; she was feeling upset after seeing Jake … he was wrecked because of her. And Quil reminded her of what they had done. It made her feel guilty.

Quil looked at her. "I see," he said. He took half a step towards her and she held her hands up suddenly, stopping him from getting any closer. She just couldn't deal with him right now. She felt so guilty. He got a very odd look on his face. "I see," he repeated.

"No," she hissed at him. "No you don't." She was terrified that someone inside the Black house would see them or overhear them.

"What **do** you want Bella?" Quil asked her.

She was so stressed she didn't even hear him use her full name.

She rubbed at her face. "I am just so glad this is all over. I just want to go home and sleep for a week. I mean Victoria is dead and it is… all… over."

"I see," he said again.

She wasn't really listening to Quil. "I'll be back tomorrow to see Jake," she said.

"Uh-huh," said Quil. He opened the truck door for her and she got inside. Later she couldn't say what she had been doing; she was on auto-pilot. She probably should not have driven home alone. She was just so wrung out and exhausted.

It was only later that she realised she hadn't given Quil anything. Not a kind word; not a promise to see _him_ the next day; nothing. She had given him nothing.

It would not have looked odd for her to hug him; he had guarded her in a cave all night. No one would have taken any notice, if she had hugged him. It was her own insecurities and fears that were out of control. She felt like a prize idiot later but by then she didn't know what to do. She looked up the Ateara number in the directory and phoned his house to speak to him.

She got Old Quil. He said Quil wasn't there but he would tell him that she had called. She tried to get him to promise that he wouldn't forget, but she wasn't hopeful, he was an old man. She wasn't even sure if Quil was there and just didn't want to talk to her.

It was the best she could do.

FF_2154210_ - 7/05/2011 03:06:00 PM


	8. Are you breaking up with me?

**Chapter 8 Are you breaking up with me?**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Charlie wasn't home yet, but she heaved a sigh of relief at actually being alone, and for once, being out of danger. She went to bed after showering, eating and cleaning up, but she had trouble sleeping; her dreams were full of the forest and wolves. It was understandable given the last couple of days. She was like Disney's Snow White, stumbling through the forest, the way she had when she was chasing after Edward. Tripping and falling on roots and rocks under her feet. Lost in the forest with the trees pulling at her skirts and her hair. That part of the cartoon had always frightened her as a child and now she dreamt she was in it. The trees seemed to push at her and shout at her; but she didn't know what they were saying.

In the morning, Charlie rang and said he would be back that day. She drove back out to La Push after breakfast. She was still worried about Jake. And she had to talk to him. She had put it off yesterday when he was so broken.

She needn't have been worried about him; he came out to the front porch to greet her when he heard her truck pull up. She felt sick to the stomach at what she would have to do. She would have to admit to him what had happened in the cave.

He still wore some bandages, cuts and bruises. He jogged over to her, swung her up into his arms and crushed her to him. She tried not to cringe.

"Bells," he breathed into her hair.

"You won," she stated.

"Was there ever any doubt?" he asked arrogantly. She resisted pointing out to him, that his own father had possessed some doubts.

"No." She smiled at him.

They started to move towards the house.

"Where were you hiding yesterday?" he asked. That surprised her; Quil must be avoiding him. And Jake had forgotten their discussion yesterday.

"I told you yesterday… but you were pretty out of it… Quil moved us to a cave when I started to freeze to death… the storm hit us hard," she explained. "I don't know where it blew in from, but it started to snow. And I was so stressed. Every time the tent moved I jumped… I was so nervous. It was so cold in the tent. Even in the sleeping bag I was getting too cold." She was babbling. She knew it and she couldn't stop it.

"Shit, I didn't think about that." He looked concerned.

"Quil was really worried about the tent being insecure as well."

"I guess he was right about that," conceded Jake. He paused for a minute and then shook his head as if he was remembering the image of the shredded tent.

"Embry found us," she added. She knew she had told him all of that yesterday, but he was so out of it… she could forgive him for not remembering. He must have been more injured than he had let her know.

"Can I wash up for a minute?" she asked. She was delaying the inevitable.

"Sure, sure," he agreed. "Did you want a hot drink and something to eat?"

Her heart hurt. He always wanted to look after her. Maybe it was the wolf in him; he always wanted to feed her. "Yes please," she smiled at him tremulously.

When she came into the kitchen a cup of tea, a sandwich on a plate and Jake were all waiting for her. She picked at the food. She had well and truly lost her appetite. There was no one else around. She wondered if Jake had told them to stay away.

"Tell me what happened?" she asked. "Victoria?"

"Ashes …and most of her followers. We let a couple escape to spread the word," Jake shrugged. "Don't fuck with us."

"True," she agreed. "Tell me everything." Avoidance maybe, but she wanted to know.

Jake enthusiastically launched into a retelling of the entire battle for her. It took him some time.

"Where's Billy?" she asked during a pause in his narrative.

"Council meeting," Jake stated.

"And you aren't?"

"I was waiting for you," he breathed.

Oh... God. She couldn't avoid this any more.

"Jake am I part of the pack now?" she asked.

"Bells?" He looked confused.

"Am I?" she persisted. "I was thinking about a lot of things during the night."

"You think too much, Bells. Of course you are pack. We will protect you if anything like this happens again. You know that."

"What if I'm not…" She took a deep breath. "What if I'm not with you?"

"Not with…**What? **Why wouldn't you be with me?"

"You're the Alpha Jake; the pack leader, the future tribe leader. I'm not the right girl for you." That wasn't how she meant to start this talk, but she believed it none the less.

"Bells?" he was confused.

Pause.

"What's going on Bella?" he asked. He sounded really suspicious now.

She noticed his use of her name, not his shortening of it.

"I love you Jake…" she started to say, but he interrupted.

"Yeah I…"

"No, wait… please let me finish."

He stared at her. He already looked hurt. She had stopped him before he finished that sentence, because she feared what she thought he was going to say.

She inhaled deeply, and she tried to finish what she had started. "…but I don't _love _you Jake. Not like that."

And then in eerie of echo of what she had said to him, just after he had phased and been told to avoid her. That day when she had come out to the reservation and forced him to see her. "Are you breaking up with me?" he asked.

"Y-yes," she whispered.

He just stared at her. His eyes narrowed.

"What's brought this on?" he asked.

His human side had no answer but his wolf… he leant towards her and sniffed. Even if she had scrubbed herself raw, she suspected he could smell it. Besides her face had flamed when he got close to her.

"Bells?" He sounded hurt. "What happened in that cave? You smelt like Quil yesterday. You told me it was because he carried you."

She tried hard, but it must have been written all over her face. "We slept togeth …" she started to say.

Suddenly he rose to his feet. He backed away from her. "No," he said. "No." His face twisted. "And with Quil?" he sounded incredulous.

He turned inhumanly fast and punched the wall. The speed and the violence shocked her. She jumped where she sat at the table. She wanted to touch him; to pat him or calm him, but she was not sure he would cope with that now. So she stayed sitting.

She knew he wouldn't hurt her… would he?

But the noise had worried somebody else. Someone she hadn't known had been listening.

Quil dashed inside the house. Obviously Jake too, had not known he was out there.

"B?" he called as he came.

"Quil," she answered incredulously. She stood to try and head him off before he got in the room, but she was too slow. Quil's presence could only make this worse.

He stood in the doorway; his eyes flicked between Jake and the hole in the wall. He scanned her quickly to check she was alright. He was still wearing the same cut-offs. Knowing the boys of the pack he probably only had one pair of cut-offs left. Had he even been home? She couldn't contact him last night. And he hadn't called her back.

Jake's eyes narrowed, his top lip lifted and he growled. The sound erupted out of his human chest and sounded more inhuman for doing so. Quil froze.

"No!" she shouted. Bella threw herself between them.

Well she tried, but they could move so fast. Jake was onto Quil, and Quil didn't fight him. He dropped into a submissive pose. This was his pack leader and he was hard wired not to fight him unless he wanted to be the Alpha himself. Jake sniffed at Quil and then tore something from his pocket. It was Bella's panties.

She gasped, she had forgotten about them. Suddenly she realised that Quil had not gone home at all and that meant that he had not got her message.

"Souvenir?" asked Jake. His voice dripped with bitterness.

"Jake," she pleaded. He ignored her. His eyes remained locked onto Quil. "Please Jake…" she begged.

"Please what?" he asked her. He didn't even look at her.

That stumped her for a second. What did she want? If she asked him not to hurt Quil he might actually ignore her. This Jake frightened her. "Please forgive me," she tried.

He looked up and just stared at her as if he didn't know who she was. She felt the same way. She didn't know herself either.

"I fought vampires for you… and you tear my heart out… I said you were a marshmallow but I was wrong… **you** do me more damage then _they_ ever have… Bella Swan."

"I know… I know and I'm sorry… I don't know what to say… it just happened… please… Jake… you're my best friend…"

"And **this** is how you treat me?" he asked.

"She thought she was going to die…" Quil spoke up.

Bella suspected that he was deliberately trying to draw Jake's attention to him, but it was a mistake. Jake couldn't hurt Bella but he had no such problems with Quil. Without a word of warning, Jake's arm snaked out and his huge fist smacked into Quil's jaw. She heard a snapping sound.

Quil didn't fight back; he wrapped his hands around his head and he took the beating. He fell to the floor and Jake followed him down.

Bella was frozen in shock and horror as Jake laid into Quil with a vengeance. She thought he was going to kill him.

Then she snapped out of her daze and threw herself onto Jake's uplifted arm. "Stop!" she screamed. "STOP!"

Jake rose to his feet; she was almost literally hanging off his arm.

"Stop it," she repeated. "Please Jake," she begged. "Don't do this…"

He shook her off. He threw her into the wall. Her head banged against it and she fell to the floor dazed. A trickle of blood ran down from her forehead. She had hit the wall where he had broken it earlier and the sharp edge had cut her scalp. He sniffed. His eyes focused on her and they seemed to clear. He looked slowly down at the huddled figure of Quil bleeding at his feet.

He shook his head. He took a step back, and then another. He backed away from them both, still shaking his head and then he turned and he ran.

He exploded out the front door of the house and he phased before he hit the edge of the porch. The wolf howled. It was a sound of heart breaking sorrow; an inhuman mixture of rage and mourning.

It ran and it didn't look back.

FF_2154210_ - 8/05/2011 05:18:00 AM


	9. Leaderless

**Chapter 9 Leaderless**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

The pack was literally leaderless. Jake had phased and run. If anyone else tried to phase he just ordered them out and they had to go. He had never really used the alpha timbre on anyone before and now it was **all **he used.

**_Phase out. Leave me alone._**

It was a demand, not a request. None of them could fight him, not even Sam.

Sam stepped up again in the meantime, he wasn't the actual leader but he knew what he was doing and more importantly, the others would obey him. The pack itself was in disarray. They had just won an epic battle, but no one felt like celebrating now. None of them could phase so it was probably lucky the escaped vampires were putting out the word to stay away from La Push. There was no way they could fight now if more of them showed up. Jake had unwittingly put the whole tribe into danger. Nobody was happy about that. But Sam argued in his defense, that he was very young and he had only been the Alpha for days.

Embry went back to the cave to get the stuff they had left behind and he could tell that Jake had been there. Why he would do that to himself, no one could guess. Twisting the knife a little further in his wounds. He must have followed their trail back up to it.

That made Bella feel even worse; the first thing that he had done was follow her. Still obsessed with her. She could imagine his keen sense of smell putting all the pieces together from the sleeping bag and the stuff they had left behind. Her bra had been inside the sleeping bag. She had forgotten about it until later. She had just told him they slept together but now he knew what she really meant. To a wolf; the cave must still have reeked of sex.

Quil and Bella were patched up. Bella did not have concussion but she needed some stitches in the cut in her head. Quil had a broken jaw, some cuts and some major bruising to his body. The tribal medical centre had handled worse. Bella did not get a chance to see him before Sam ordered Seth to get her out of there.

Seth drove her home. She wasn't capable of driving herself. He watched her with growing concern. She barely heard anything he said to her. She sat in the truck and stared out the window.

Bella fell into the catatonia-like state she had been in before when Edward had left her. She blamed herself for it all; the vampires, the deaths in Seattle, the pack injuries, Jake's broken heart, Quil's injuries, she even felt bad for the owners of the pets Victoria had killed. It was too much guilt for her to carry and she withdrew from everyone. _Everyone_.

Quil blamed himself. He hadn't gone home. He had followed her to her house like a pathetic puppy. Completely forgot about her panties in his pocket. If he had gone home, he would have got her phone message. They could have talked and sorted it all out before she spoke to Jake.

Now Bella refused to speak to him. He blamed himself too for not being able to fight off a 120lb girl and keep his dick in his pants. It didn't matter that he didn't have pants on at the time. He had betrayed his best friend and his pack leader. He should have stopped her **way** before they got too serious. He couldn't have waited for a day or two? Or longer, if that was what it took?

He also blamed himself for rushing into the kitchen and turning what was a tense situation into a disastrous one. If only he had just trusted them both; Jake would not have hurt Bella if he had not run in there like some crazed hero, trying to rescue her. Now he guessed that Jake felt guilty because he had hurt him and he had hurt Bella. He had made her bleed.

He didn't know what to say to Bella either. He tried to call her but she hung up on him. Charlie was back fromSeattlebut if he got him, she wouldn't come to the phone. He couldn't tell Charlie what was going on, so he had to wait for her to contact him. He rationalised that she just needed some space and some time and he could give her that.

The pack blamed Quil.

Bella had lost another best friend. **Again**. She thought that there must be something wrong with her.

She sat in her bedroom chair and watched the days go past. Charlie knew that she and Jake had broken up. Jake; the only person who was capable of fixing her the last time she had behaved like this. And Jake was not around.

It really frightened him to see her back at this behaviour when he thought it was over and done with. He didn't know what to do. He called Renee and they spent more time talking about their daughter than they had for years. Charlie didn't know all the details. He could only tell Renee that Bella and Jake had broken up and that Jake had left the area. Billy didn't seem upset about Jake's disappearance and that worried Charlie too. Renee thought it was just a broken heart and to give her a little more time.

But Charlie worried; he did not know who could fix her now.

Quil tried to talk to Embry about Bella, but neither of them really knew Bella that well. Quil had sex with her but he didn't really _know_ her. Jake had chased them away every time she had come out to the Black place when they were rebuilding the bikes together. It was his time with her and he had always threatened them if they were on his land while she was there. He and Embry could have helped with the bikes, but no... Then she was studying for her final exams, graduating and after that, when she was staying at La Push, they were all busy hunting vamps.

Embry said that he had thought she was serious about Quil, but the longer it went without her contacting him, the more they both doubted what had happened. Quil started to think that she had just wanted sex; a quick roll in the hay before she died. She had said something like that, hadn't she? Quil had thought it was something more than that as well; but if she didn't want to talk to him now… what was he supposed to think?

She avoided him; she didn't want to talk to him; he assumed she must be ashamed of what they had done and _that_ didn't make him feel any better either. With his loss of hope, he gave up trying to contact her.

Embry said he would think about it all. And really, that was what Embry did best.

Bella was so overdosed on guilt. She was trapped again. She could see it happening but it was as if it was happening to somebody else. She was powerless to do anything about it. She had torn out Jake's heart; she had witnessed best friends fight over _her_. Jake had run away. Jake said she did more damage to him than anything else and he was right. The tribe had lost its heir; the pack had lost its Alpha and it was all her fault.

She couldn't talk to Quil; it was all too emotional. Quil should have stayed out of the kitchen. This had all started because Quil was just too tempting.

She couldn't work out what he was to her yet. She needed to think and she couldn't do that near him. She needed a plan but she was frozen again by how much carnage she left in her wake. Even the Cullens didn't escape unharmed because of her. They had to move; all of them had to uproot their lives and move, because of her, for goodness' sake. She wonders if she is such a disaster, why anyone would want anything to do with her and her disastrous life. Surely Quil would be better off without her?

She makes no effort in her life. She has finished school. She hasn't made a decision about college. Her old school friends have all moved on to college and none of them are in town. Not that any of them really helped her the last time either. Her job atNewtonsis long gone. She has nothing to do.

Days turned into weeks.

Eventually Jake seemed far enough away from the pack that they could no longer hear him. Sam had phased each day just to check on him, get shouted at and phase out again. But he realised one day, he could no longer hear him. He panicked.

The tribal council called a meeting.

It was chaotic and ultimately pointless. Nobody knew what was going on. Was Jake even alive? Had he managed to kill himself? It was a regular pack joke; discussing ways they could actually kill themselves. Now they all felt bad about the number of suggestions they had made about how to actually kill a werewolf.

Or was he just **so** far away, that he was out of range as it were. Everyone prayed for that.

They tried to discuss the incident that had started the whole thing, but only Quil was in attendance. So nothing was resolved by the meeting. But at least the pack could patrol again. The pack had a purpose again.

Sue Clearwater and Charlie had become close after Harry's death; they flirted with dating.

Charlie poured it all out for Sue one night and Leah and Seth could hear every word upstairs. The only thing, according to Charlie, that was better than when she did this before, was now there was no screaming in her sleep. That had seriously stressed him out before. Bella cooked, she ate a little, but she didn't speak unless spoken to and she did nothing else. She barely got dressed because she had finished school and she didn't have a job. She didn't even read. That one worried Charlie more than he wanted to admit. She had always loved her books. He noticed her favourite book was missing. He had bought her a new copy of Pride and Prejudice to cheer her up and he had found it in the trash the next day; with the cover crumpled up.

"I'm going over to their house," said Seth.

"Leave that bitch alone," Leah muttered at him. She blamed Bella for it all. "We are like this because of those fucking Cullens and they stayed here because of _he_r," she spat at Seth.

"Jesus, Leah, that's not her fault… they were here before she even moved to Forks. You can't blame her for that. They made the treaty with us in 1936 and you can't blame her for that either."

Leah just grunted at him.

"Someone has to do something Leah. I'd rather fight newborns than go through this… this is **_awful_**."

He ran over to Forks, stood in front of the Swan house and looked up. He saw a light on; he noted the tree in front of her room, so he climbed up and tapped on Bella's window.


	10. Slow suicide

**Chapter 10 Slow suicide**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella actually heard the tap at the window and she instantly thought it was Jake.

She flung the window open. "Jake?" she cried eagerly.

But it was Seth. The parallels were not lost on her; he had always reminded her of a younger Jake and now he looked just like him. Especially as he swung himself through the window and landed on the floor of her room with exactly the same lithe grace as Jake had always shown.

She took several steps back; her initial eagerness had been derailed. The colour faded from her face as she watched him enter.

He looked at her as she stood there.

She didn't say anything.

He sighed.

And then he reached out his long arms, dragged her in against him and he just hugged her. She didn't say anything. She stiffened up and she tried to get out of his grasp but he just would **not** let her go. She tried and failed and then she took a deep breath … and she lost it. She sobbed, she wailed, she keened.

Seth did not say a word. He just held her in his arms. He stood there tirelessly and let her cry her heart out. The sight of him; looking so much like Jake had done the trick.

Plus he was warm, strong, half dressed like all the pack members and she knew now, how much she had missed them all. Seth smelt so familiar and so wrong at the same time. She came to a realisation that she had really missed Quil.

He finally loosened his hold on her when her sobs had reduced to hiccups.

"Shit Bells you are all skin and bones," he groused at her. "You look even smaller and whiter than you normally do. Have you got _any_ food in this house?"

His calling her Bells had reminded her of Jake again. She hiccupped another sob. She managed a weak smile. Food; they were always all about food.

He seemed to guess what she was thinking. "The food is not for me," he chided her. "You should see yourself. Seriously Bells, when did you eat last?"

She frowned. She actually couldn't remember.

He sniffed at her. "And I mean this in the nicest possible way," he said. "But you stink! Go have a shower and I will see you in the kitchen." He grabbed her by the shoulders and frog marched her to the bathroom, pushing her firmly inside and shutting the door behind her.

She did as she was told.

By the time she had showered, washed her hair and brushed her teeth she felt much better. She got dressed. She had been living in her pyjamas for days. It wasn't hard to find a clean pair of jeans to put on. Just putting on shoes and lacing them up made her feel a little more in control.

She came slowly down the stairs to see the unforgettable sight of Seth in cut-offs and an apron cooking bacon and eggs. "I am not the best cook," he confessed. "But I can do breakfast. I know it isn't breakfast time but it is food, right?"

"Thank you Seth." She sat at the table and drank the coffee he had poured for her.

He actually ate most of what he had cooked, but he made sure she ate something. And that she ate extra eggs. She needed the protein, he told her.

She didn't know how to start asking him what was happening on the reservation.

"J-Jake?" she finally stuttered out.

"No news," Seth admitted. "He ran and he hasn't come back. He ordered us all out. No one could phase. We can't hear him anymore." At the look on her face, he hurried to comfort her. "I don't think he is dead… or anything like that… I think he is just out of range… he's gone so far, we can't hear him anymore."

"Oh God Seth, what am I going to do?"

He shrugged eloquently. "You are going to live. You are going to stop this slow suicide." He frowned at her. "Did you really think this was the solution? To sit around and feel sorry for yourself?"

Her mouth opened and then closed again. He was right.

She took another sip of her coffee.

"It was really selfish of me… wasn't it?" she asked in a very small voice. Why she could see it now when she couldn't before… But Seth was just so alive and so real and he was sitting in her kitchen glaring at her.

Seth just humphed something at her.

Bella suddenly looked around as if she had only just recognised that something was missing. "Where's Charlie?"

"He's at Mums, pouring out his heart to her about how worried he is about his only daughter. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, and she doesn't talk to him. Suicide is not a good spectator sport, you know. It is killing him to live with you and watch you do this to yourself."

"Oh," she said.

She took another sip of her coffee. If she was going to start dealing with stuff, she might as well do it all.

"Billy?" she asked tentatively.

"Waiting… sitting there… waiting for him to come home. Jake did a lot of day to day nursing for him too, you know. I mean the tribe is looking after him… but Jake was…" He shrugged.

"Oh god, I didn't think about that. I should have been there helping him."

She took another sip.

"Quil?" she asked tentatively.

"The pack blames him. No one talks to him anymore."

"They've ostracised him?" she was incredulous. "Why?"

"Huh?" said Seth. "Ostro… what?"

"They banned him? It wasn't his fault," she blustered. "Why would they blame him?"

"Seriously?" asked Seth. "If he hadn't fucked you, everything would be fine."

"What?" She rose to her feet suddenly. "He didn't fuck me… I fucked him."

"Whoa… you said 'fuck'"

"**Seth!"**

"Sorry." He held his grin back. "I mean you … what did you call it? You ostracised Quil too," he pointed out.

"Oh crap," she sat back down with a thump. "I did too… I wouldn't even talk to him that day…"

"You wouldn't take his calls… I know you didn't get a chance to see him at the medical centre… but you didn't speak up for him at the council meeting… if he mattered to you… you would have stood next to him… right? You would have contacted him? Even once..."

"Council meeting?" she repeated.

"Yeah… you know what they are like… not that they could do anything… you didn't attend and Jake was gone… so there was nothing they could do except re-hash everything and feel important themselves…"

"So Quil went?"

"Yeah but it was just Quil…" He shrugged.

"So he was alone?"

Seth just nodded.

"Oh no, no, no, no…" She had her head in her hands.

"Bella?"

"I have made such a complete mess of everything…. This is all _my_ fault." She looked up at Seth again. New tears were on her face. "I have to fix this… what do I do… Seth... tell me what to do…"

"Shit, Bells, I have no idea where to start… don't ask me."

They sat there in silence for a minute.

Bella sat up, she straightened her shoulders. She stood, took a tissue from the box on the counter and she blew her nose and wiped her eyes. "Right," she said. She sounded decisive.

Seth raised an eyebrow.

"Charlie first. Then I have to apologise to Quil."

Just then the phone rang.

Bella answered it but it was Leah, she wanted to talk to Seth. Bella passed the phone over without comment. She knew Leah hated her.

Seth listened for a second. "Embry's gone? Whadya mean, gone?"

FF_2154210_ - 10/05/2011 02:03:00 PM


	11. Waking up

**Chapter 11 Waking up**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Seth just looked at her after he hung up the phone. "Embry's mum rang our place; he's gone. She doesn't know when or where. Didn't even leave a note."

"That's not like him," said Bella.

"I am not sure if you knew, but his mum doesn't know anything about the pack," pointed out Seth. "She can't work out why he hasn't taken a bag or packed anything."

"She still doesn't know?" asked Bella.

"Yeah, Embry would _not_ let us tell her." He rolled his eyes.

"He's gone after Jake," guessed Bella.

"But no one knows where he is."

"Who's the best tracker in the pack?"

"Jeez I dunno… Sam sent Jared up to Seattle that time but Embry is pretty good too," Seth added. "Shit… you're right. But it's been weeks… he won't find a trace now. The trail will be cold."

"Maybe… but he knows Jake better than anybody. And he knows how wolf Jake thinks too. He will know where he will head and what kind of places he likes to hang out."

"Damn, Bells. You might be right."

"Quil," she suddenly exclaimed and grabbed her bag off the counter. "He will blame himself for this as well; for Embry leaving. I have to talk to him."

"Come on…" she grabbed her truck keys and tried to haul Seth off his chair. She nearly fell over when he failed to move at all.

He waved at the dirty plates and frypans. "We can't leave this mess," he argued.

"_Seth_," she whined. "I will leave Charlie a note. We need to go." She found a piece of paper, scribbled a note to Charlie and stuck it to the fridge with a slam of the magnet. "Come on…" she cajoled.

Seth relented after throwing all the plates in the sink and pouring some water on them.

Bella jumped into her old faithful truck, with Seth in the passenger seat and headed out for the reservation. It had been weeks since she had even been in her truck, let alone driven this road. She was amazed it even started. She berated herself for thinking like that. She had to fix it now, not whine about the stuff she had done wrong. And she had done a lot of things wrong.

She didn't even know where Quil's house was. That kind of horrified her. Seth directed her to the shop. He explained that Quil had a little apartment at the back of his mum's shop. She vaguely remembered dropping him here that day. She had picked him up at the side of the road, when he had tried to follow Jake and Embry with the pack. He was so terrified that he was going to be next to join what they had thought of then as 'Sam's cult'. She remembered how upset he was to have lost his friends.

And now she had cost him_ both_. Jake and Embry were both gone because of her.

She felt unbelievably nervous. Her heart was literally in her mouth. She stood in front of the door. He must have heard the truck; if he hadn't come out, maybe he wasn't at home. But she saw lights on. So she took a deep fortifying breath and she knocked on the door. Seth leant his back against the truck behind her.

The door was wrenched open and an extremely drunk man stood there. She could smell him from where she stood and he did not smell good. He looked terrible. He was actually wearing a shirt, but it was filthy. His normally close cut hair had grown longer and looked unkempt.

"What the fuck do **you** want?" he barked at her. So he was angry too. Angry and drunk. Great.

Bella just blinked. "Quil… I"

"It's a bit fuckin' late to show up now doncha think girlie?"

"I-I…"

"Or do you wanna come in?" he offered. He waved an arm off to the side. "The bed's thatta way if you want another go round…"

She was dumbstruck.

"You sure…?" He put down the bottle of home made spirit he had in his hand and reached for his pants and started undoing them.

"Quil!" Seth barked at him.

"Well she just wanted a fuck," he looked past her, appealing to Seth. His glance travelled back to her. "Wasn't it? That was **all **you wanted. So if you want another round of mind blowing sex… come on in… Or do you wanna do it here… does up against the wall work for you?" He waved at Seth vaguely. "You don't mind if Seth watches?" he asked.

She just backed away from him. Why wouldn't he think like that; that all she had wanted from him was sex?

He took a step towards her. "Didya do Embry too? Make him run away as well? Huh?"

"I-I'm sorry," she blurted out. She just didn't know what else to say to him.

"Sorry?" he repeated. "Yeah right…" and then he stepped back inside and slammed the door. The whole frame shook.

Bella sucked in the sob that almost escaped her.

"Jesus Bella," said Seth. He looked shocked.

Her hands were shaking. She handed him the keys. "You'd better drive… I don't think I …"

"Well sure, I can drive, but where are we going?" he asked.

"Oh god…I don't know." She held her shaking hands to her face.

"That was pretty harsh Bells," Seth comforted her.

"No, I deserved that," she disagreed. "He even took a beating for me… Jake broke his jaw… and I couldn't even speak to him or take a phone call from him… he has every right to be angry…" She pulled herself together. With a last longing look at Quil's door she said, "Take me to Billy's."

They pulled up at the Black house. It looked dark.

"Are you sure he is here?" she asked.

"Yep, mum has been coming over to make sure he goes to bed. She might be distracted with Charlie tonight. But he is not looking after himself."

"And he should with his diabetes," Bella muttered. She stared at the house, where she and Jake had slept happily together before all this had gone wrong. "Seth can you get home from here?"

"Sure, sure," he agreed.

"Please tell Charlie where I am and tell him that I will be home tomorrow." She looked at him. "Can you do that for me?" She looked back at the silent house. "I need to try and fix this."

"Sure Bells," he handed her the truck keys.

They got out of the truck and she impulsively hugged him. "Thank you for coming over and snapping me out of my funk."

"Somebody had to do something. I told Leah I would rather fight newborns than continue on like this."

"That's probably what Embry thought too. That he had had enough."

"True," Seth said. "Odd we both picked the same night, eh?"

"Yeah, thanks Seth. Tell Charlie I love him. If he wants to speak to me, I'll be here."

He smiled at her and turned and jogged away.

Bella took a deep breath and walked up to yet another rez door she did not look forward to knocking on.

She knocked, then let herself in. "Billy?" she called as she went.

She found him sitting at the kitchen table in the dark.

"Billy?"

No response.

"Can I turn a light on?"

"Bella Swan," he stated evenly.

She turned the light on. She was not surprised to see new lines of sorrow on Billy's face. He had already been through so much.

"I came to check on you," she said. She dropped her bag on the counter where she had always dumped it. "Should I put the kettle on?"

He didn't answer her, so she did it anyway. She bustled around getting mugs out and placing teabags in them.

"Seth came to visit me."

The water boiled and she made the tea. She placed both mugs on the table and took a seat. Billy wheeled over to the table.

"He climbed in my window. It gave me quite a shock… I thought for a second… it was_ him_… he used to always climb in my window… I don't think you knew that… but he used to visit me that way… they look so alike…" she rambled. "I guess the shock snapped me out… of my depression… if that's what you want to call it…"

"They do look alike," Billy spoke. "Never thought about it before."

They both sipped their tea.

Billy watched her. She hated the way he could do that. She knew Jake hated it too. The silent treatment. It made you babble to fill it; and then you said too much.

"I think Embry has gone to look for him." She still couldn't bring herself to say his name. "At least I hope so."

"Hmmm," agreed Billy.

"Can I stay tonight?" she asked. "Seth said he will tell Charlie when he gets home."

Billy nodded and took another sip of his tea. They sat their companionably and finished their tea. But then he asked the question she had been dreading since she had pulled up outside the house.

"What happened?" Billy asked her.

FF_2154210_ - 11/05/2011 02:08:00 PM


	12. The truth in dreams

**Chapter 12 The truth in dreams**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

"What happened?" Billy asked her.

She sighed. "I messed it all up. It's all my fault."

She glanced at him. "If I even knew why vampires were obsessed with me… I don't understand why they are… why they do these things… chase me halfway across the country… get infatuated with me… none of this would have happened if I had just stayed in Arizona."

Billy watched her.

God help her. How did she explain this? She would just have to tell him everything. Besides it was Billy; he just seemed to know if you were lying.

"J-jake saved me…" she stumbled on his name. She had avoided saying it so far. "Before, when_ he_ left. Jake loves me, I know that. But … I didn't want to hurt him. So I tried for his sake. Because he loved me **so** much. I thought it would be enough."

She scratched at the table surface with her fingernails.

Billy didn't speak.

She took a deep breath.

"I had a dream; a vision…"

"A vision?" Billy interrupted. "When?"

She blushed. "When J-Jake and I really kissed for the first time… for real… you know."

Billy actually looked interested now. "What did you see in the vision?"

"I saw Jake walking out of the forest… he looked the way he always does… you know half dressed… His face lit up when he saw me and then …" she stopped and scratched at the table surface again.

Billy waited.

"…and then two small children ran past him… they came out of the forest and they ran towards me. I knew they were mine." She looked up and met Billy's eyes.

"I don't know how I knew… I just recognised my own children… I know that sounds weird… so I thought they were our children… that is… Jake and my children."

She had to stand. She stood and walked to the sink. She looked out into the darkened back yard. "I thought the message was that **this **was my future… that we were together and that we had two children…"

"But," prompted Billy. "I can hear a 'but' there."

"But," she added, "It was as if I only got half the message. Unfortunately I got the next half too late."

"What do you mean?"

She turned to face him again. "Jake and I started dating as you know… we slept together… I mean we _slept _together …" She flapped nervously, just saying it to him. Billy seemed to comprehend. "And then… just before the battle… he left me with Quil at the tent and Jake kissed me again." She sighed. "And I got the rest of the message."

She sat back down again. She felt weak at the knees.

Billy watched her.

She rubbed her face and inhaled deeply. "It was the same as before, but this time I could hear sound. The children cried out to me and then as they got closer I realised I was pregnant … and that there was someone behind me… I felt it was a 'he' and he was warm like all the pack members and he put his hand on my rounded stomach … and he had russet coloured skin, just like my babies… and they were shouting out to him. The little girl was older and the other child was a solid, chubby legged little boy."

She gave Billy a significant glance. "They were shouting 'Daddy' as they ran towards us."

"Who was it? Billy asked. "Behind you? Could you see?"

"I don't know." She sounded so sad. "I tried to turn and see but I couldn't make the vision go where I wanted it to."

She glared at him. "I mean if the gods are going to send me messages, at least they could send me the whole message and not leave out the important bits… you know… like who it actually was, behind me."

"I suppose the message was, that it wasn't Jake," Billy suggested.

"Yes, he was standing in front of me so that is what I felt as well. But of course, I didn't get time to tell him that _before_ the battle and that would have been rotten timing too."

"What changed?" Billy asked.

"Changed?"

"Between the first and the second vision," Billy asked. He studied her, "Were you pregnant in the first vision? You didn't say that."

She tried to think about it. "That's a good point. I don't know. I don't think so." She sat up suddenly. "So you think the vision changed between the first and the second time. You think something **I did **changed the vision?"

Billy shrugged.

"All Jake and I did was… get more serious," she pointed out. She gave a derisive snort. "I ruined my future by getting more serious."

"Ruined, no; changed, maybe."

Billy gave her one of his penetrating glances. "Bella, you said you didn't love Jake like that. And you knew that when you got more serious."

"Yes. He's more like my best friend. But Billy I had to try…"

"So how was it?" he asked.

"Pardon?" she gasped. Was Billy Black asking her about having sex with Jake?

"Compatibility there, is almost the most important thing in a relationship, in my book," he said bluntly. "So if you were compatible, the vision may have been a truthful one. You might have tried harder to make it work with him. If you weren't…" he shrugged.

"Oh I see," she said. "I suppose that would make sense…"

"And Quil?" pressed Billy.

Oh God. Of course he would know about that. Especially if it had actually been discussed in front of the council. Dear god; they could not have discussed_** that**_ in council could they? "Aah…" she blustered.

Billy waited.

"… very compatible ..." she blurted out.

"More than with Jake?"

She realised she had avoided answering about Jake when he asked. She couldn't answer him now, so she just nodded.

"I see," Billy stated. He looked thoughtful again.

She was too embarrassed. She needed to do something. She stood and started to fill the sink. She could do some washing up. That would keep her busy. She bustled around washing up everything she could find and wiping down the bench tops. There wasn't that much. Billy must have been living on takeout or frozen dinners.

Billy looked lost in thought. "And you only got the visions when you kissed Jake… not Quil?" he asked as if he was checking something.

"Yes, that's right."

There was a silence.

She was wiping up the last plate with the tea towel when Billy spoke. "Have you seen Quil?"

"Yes, it did not go well. He was very angry with me." She put the last plate away and knotted the tea towel in her hands. "He was right to be angry. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and I didn't help him. I didn't stand with him when he needed me. He tried to talk to me and I wouldn't even take his calls. He probably thinks that I have rejected him. And I suppose I did." She managed to release the tea towel and she hung it on the oven door. "Worse, I don't even know how to try and fix it with him."

"Does he know about the vision?"

She shook her head. "I haven't told anyone about it Billy. It just sounded too weird to try and explain it. I thought that _you_ would know it was the truth."

He looked surprised by that. "You could have told your mother," he suggested.

"Huh," she said. "I never thought about that, but she would be right on board with that… it would fit with all her crystal bibles and everything else she is into. But we have got a bit more out of touch being so far apart… it's hard to tell her things the way I used to."

"Yes," Billy agreed. "Crystals, astrology and auras."

Bella laughed. It was the first time she had laughed in weeks.

The phone rang. Billy answered it. She could tell that it was Charlie. After talking for a few minutes Billy handed the phone to her.

"Dad? ... yeah… Seth… you are? ... okay… I'll see you tomorrow… love you."

"He's staying at Sue's," she told Billy. "Are you sure you want me to stay?" she checked. She felt unaccountably guilty for a minute. "Jake…" she tried to explain.

Billy just shook his head. "The timing could have been better. But it was going to happen anyway if you didn't have your heart in it. First loves can be tricky; I really think it was not meant to be." He sighed heavily. "And I hope you can stay friends… for both your sakes."

"Thank you Billy." She leant down and hugged him. "I am positive he will be home soon. Are you sure it is okay that I stay tonight?"

"Yes, its fine. Sleep in Jake's bed." He wheeled himself off.

Bella used the bathroom and then she stood in the doorway looking at Jake's bed. The sheets looked clean. She supposed he had changed them after sleeping in it injured. He probably was hoping to welcome her back after their great victory. How awful for him; he was hoping to tumble her into bed again and she given him the breakup speech. 'And by the way I slept with your friend.' Poor Jake. She had handled this all so badly and she had to fix it.

She went to the hall closet and got out a couple of blankets. She would need them without a wolf in bed with her.

She stripped down to her t-shirt and panties, crawled into the bed and fell asleep. She was exhausted.

FF_2154210_ - 12/05/2011 05:00:00 AM


	13. Scribbled notes

**Chapter 13 scribbled notes**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

She inhaled. She could smell Jake. Her eyes popped open but then she groaned in disappointment as she remembered the events of the day before. He wasn't back. She was just asleep in his bed. Maybe this had not been such a good idea. Smelling Jake reminded her of everything she had done wrong.

She rolled over and buried her face into his pillow. She missed him. She prayed that he was okay wherever he was. She prayed that Embry reached him. She knew Embry must have a plan. Embry was not the type to act rashly. He would have thought about it.

Her thoughts skipped easily from Embry to Quil. He had shocked her last night. He was angry; she got that. But she had never seen Quil rude. She had done that to him. Through her neglect. Her inability to face him.

The pack clown was not any more.

She didn't know how to fix it. Seth had just come over and hugged her. She didn't think Quil was up for that; not after last night. Could she talk to his family? She didn't know any of them. She'd seen Old Quil tell stories at the bonfires but that was it. She suspected that he and Quil's mother were it for family for him anyway. And what was she going to say to them? He's like this because I made a mistake?

She would write him a letter. That always worked in her books. She scrabbled around Jake's room looking for his school books. That made her feel guilty too. He had missed so much school and that was her fault as well.

She tore a sheet out of one of his lecture pads.

She sat and tried to think about what she needed to say. She wrote:

Quil,

Sorry; obviously.

I'm not sorry we had sex.

I'm sorry I let you down.

I didn't know the pack blamed you.

I didn't know about the tribal council. I should have been there with you.

I should have held your hand

She crossed out the last line. [AN: fanfic won't let me use strikethrough - you'll have to imagine it.]

God that was a thought. What was his punishment by the tribal council? Did they punish? Could they even decide anything with only Quil in attendance? Seth had said they couldn't do anything, hadn't he?

I should have trusted you

She crossed that one out too. He didn't do anything wrong.

I'm sorry Jake hurt you when you were only trying to protect me.

I didn't try to stop him fast enough. I froze.

I do not regret having sex with you. It was magic. You were right.

Didn't she already say that? Did it matter? She thought it bore repeating.

Please don't be angry with me.

I miss you.

She crossed out the last line, because she had no right to miss him; he wasn't hers. She threw herself back on to the mattress; this was pathetic. It was the most badly written letter… ever. She took another look at it and added a couple more things.

I had nothing to do with Embry. I think he is looking for Jake.

I should have just hugged you last night. I am sorry I didn't try to.

Please look after yourself.

B.

She left it on the bed and went to have a shower. She got dressed and headed to the kitchen.

She heard Billy moving around and the bathroom door closing.

She went through the fridge and the cupboards and decided the first thing she should do was go shopping. There was no food. She wanted to make a difference; even if it was just buying groceries for Billy. She thought about taking the letter and shoving it under Quil's door. His apartment was just behind the shop. Why not? What did she have to lose? She darted into Jake's room and grabbed it before she changed her mind. She folded it over on itself and scribbled a big Q on the front.

She checked the clock; grabbed her bag and headed to the shop. It wasn't until she was half the way there that she thought about the fact that Quil's mother owned the shop. She had never met her before. Guess she was going to now.

She drove up to the shop, parked and snuck around the back. If he was awake, he would hear her coming anyway. Her truck idled at full volume. But she suspected that he was probably sleeping off his bender from the night before. She prayed that was a one night thing; that he wasn't doing that to himself every night. Truth be told, she hoped he was asleep. She was not up for another confrontation; not like last night. She shoved the note under the door. A tiny corner of it showed on the outside. She stood there and stared at it for a second. Had she done the right thing? Did it say what she wanted it to? It said 'sorry'; that was kind of the best she could do right now.

She warred with herself about trying to take it back; then she sighed and walked away.

As she walked away the letter was pulled the rest of the way under the door.

She headed around to the shop part of the building. She didn't have a list but it was pretty easy; Billy needed everything.

The door had one of those old fashioned bells on it that dinged when you opened the door. She loved it already. She grabbed a little basket and looked around. Cereal; something plain and low sugar. Milk, juice, eggs, she grabbed some flour and dried fruit. She thought she would bake him a fruit cake. It would last well. Billy could have a slice with his tea, as a little treat. She chased away the thoughts about how different it was _not _to cater for a wolf boy appetite.

She threw a few other vague items in her basket. She walked up all the aisles as she was unfamiliar with the shop. She was standing staring at the feminine products when the shop door was ripped open. An extremely large, extremely pissed man stood at the end of her aisle.

"What does this mean?" Quil screamed at her.

"What?" She clutched a hand across her heart; he was frightening her so badly.

He was holding her note in his hand. "You **don't** trust me… you **don't** miss me?" he screamed at her.

A woman approached. She looked truly concerned.

Bella didn't know what to do; he had misread her note. She kicked herself for even writing it now.

"I-I…" she tried.

"Well?" he interrupted.

"Shut up and let her speak," barked the woman. She didn't seem frightened of him.

He stopped. He folded his massive arms across his chest and he glared at Bella.

"Y-You didn't do anything wrong. So there was no breach of trust with me. That's why I crossed that bit out. And… y-you aren't mine…" she stuttered out. "…I have no right to miss you…" A tear trickled down her cheek.

Quil inhaled … he looked like he was going to say something but didn't. He spun on his heel and stormed off.

"… even if I do," Bella finished just before he got to the door.

He paused so she knew he had heard her, but then he pulled the door open and stepped through it. The bell jangle sounded harsh now.

She stood with her hand held to her chest and gulped.

The woman looked at her for a second and then her face softened.

"Oh Honey," she said.

Bella burst into tears.

She sobbed again. "What d-did I do wrong?" she wailed.

FF_2154210_ - 13/05/2011 02:06:00 PM


	14. Mum's the word

**Chapter 14 Mum's the word**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**[AN: I have become aware recently that the 'Illustrated guide to Twilight' has back stories for most of the wolves. And names. Paul's name is evidently Lahote. (la hottie? Yes indeed!) Call me change averse but I am stuck, in my head, with the names I have given characters previously. So Quil's mum is still Rowana for me. You will have to deal with it. *grin*]**

* * *

><p>The woman approached Bella slowly; worry still etched on her face.<p>

"I'm-m s-s-sorry," blubbered Bella. "I-I t-tried to apologise…"

"You must be Bella Swan," she said in a low, gentle voice.

"I really wish I wasn't," she whimpered.

The woman put her arm around Bella's shoulder and shepherded her towards the counter.

"Come on," she said.

She guided her to the stool behind the counter and made her sit down; placing her grocery basket down on the floor. She passed her the box of tissues from the counter and let her take a handful.

Bella blew her nose and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she said again.

"I suspect you have had a pretty intense couple of weeks, young lady."

She nodded. And in a fit of she didn't know what, she just started babbling. "I should have broken up with Jake before the battle but there just wasn't time. And then," she gulped in a breath, "…and then Quil happened… and then Jake got all upset… and then… everyone got hurt and…" She stopped suddenly and looked at the woman. "And why am I telling **you** all this, you must be his mother…" she pointed out. Holy crow, she didn't even know if she _knew_ about the wolves and here she was just babbling about battles. She hoped the woman wouldn't notice her mistake.

The woman smiled. "Yes, I am. I'm Rowana Ateara," she introduced herself.

"Is he coming back?"

"I don't think so."

"Good. I just don't think I could handle that right now." She blew her nose again. "God, I am so stupid… I tried to write a note to apologise… and I shoved it under his door… but it was really rushed and kind of imperfect… it had things crossed out… and all he has read is the stuff I crossed out not the stuff I meant."

"That sounds just like him," said his mother. "But I am not a big fan of perfect myself. I appreciate much more, the heartfelt messages." Rowana studied her. "It's okay, I know about the pack," she added.

Bella emitted a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness, I would be in even more trouble if I had blown that as well…"

Rowana smiled.

Bella thought of something. "I meant to ask Billy… what was Quil's punishment at the Tribal Council?"

"Oh Bella, the tribal council doesn't punish. The Quileute follow Native American justice ideals. They try to get all the people affected together." She studied her perceptively. "Do you want me to explain it?"

"Yes please, there is so much stuff I don't know."

"What we deal with is: why did this act happen in the first place? There's a reason why the harm has occurred. Let's deal with that. Maybe there is a history of problems between the two people. If we can get to the bottom of a problem, all the other stuff will fall into place. The damage can be acknowledged by one, and he can go away happy from the process, knowing that the other said that they're not going to do it again. Something as simple as maybe one neighbour sold the other a dodgy car. They might still be angry about that, so they complain about their dog barking."

"I see," said Bella.

"Involving all the parties, especially the offender, can help to restore dignity and worthiness. Through the peacemaking process, an offender can come to feel better, especially when the person can say, 'I'm responsible, and I'm accountable.' That does a lot to the spirit, the mind and the body of those who participate in the process," she shrugged. "It often means that they don't reoffend. And if the relatives are also involved, they can feel relief too, and those who are also interested in the process would feel the same way. So in the end, there's healing at all the different levels."

"But you didn't have everybody," Bella commented.

"No, we didn't. Jake was gone and you were… unavailable."

"No one tried to contact me." Her brow furrowed. "Did they?"

Rowana didn't say anything, but Bella could guess. "Charlie. They asked Charlie. And he didn't tell me about it. He probably thought he was protecting me from more hurt. Oh poor Quil."

Rowana looked surprised at that.

"He must have thought I said 'no'; that I wouldn't attend the meeting with him. You have to believe me. I didn't even know about it until just now." She looked slightly panicked.

"I believe you," Rowana said.

"So what happened … at the hearing?" Bella pressed.

"Quil took all the blame. He said it was all his fault. He said he caused the fight with Jake."

"Jake punched the wall, I guess he needed to hit something and he didn't want it to be me. But Quil rushed in because he thought I was in danger. He said something to Jake that drew his attention. He might not have hit anybody except for that."

"Jake hit you?"

"No… oh no… he would never… well I suppose he did hurt me… but I tried to stop him. It was like he didn't even know it was me. I was hanging off his arm… he's so big… and he just… shook me off." She wrung the tissue in her hand between her fingers; shredding it. "He threw me into the wall. It was just bad luck that my head hit the part he had broken earlier. That was how I got cut."

"But he _did_ hurt Quil."

"Yes, but Quil didn't even try to fight him… he just let him hurt him…"

She didn't want anyone to be in trouble but it was such a mess.

"Jake sniffed at Quil and … that just seem to enrage him…" she added.

"The wolf," said Rowana. "He could smell you on Quil. You didn't need to tell him what had happened."

Bella blushed. "Yes… well… I suppose…" she blustered.

Rowana looked at her thoughtfully. "He took the blame for that too."

"**No**…" Bella was horrified. "Oh the idiot… it was… me…" She felt kind of weird telling his mother this, but she had already discussed it with Billy. "It was all me… I wanted to…" It was too upsetting and she felt tears start down her face again.

She wiped her eyes. "I have made such a mess out of all this," she sniffed. "And I think I have cried more in the last two days than I have in the last two years…"

"Maybe you just needed to get it all out of your system," commented Rowana solicitously.

They sat there for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

Bella sighed. She reached for her wallet.

"I need to pay for the groceries for Billy."

"They're for Billy Black?"

"Yes, he has no food in his house. I stayed there last night. He's not looking after himself and I suppose that… is my fault too."

"I can put them on his tab."

"No, I want to pay."

"I understand," Rowana said, and it seemed like she did. Bella paid for the groceries and carried them out to her truck.

When she got back to the Black house she made sandwiches for lunch, a casserole for the next few days and a fruitcake. She hoped it was okay for diabetics to eat fruitcake. She and Billy sat together watching TV. Charlie came over when the game came on and after sticking around for fifteen minutes or so she took the opportunity to head home. It was Saturday night and she felt like being home. She hugged Charlie really hard and knew that he loved her and worried about her in his own way. Even if he could never say it out loud.

When she got home she showered and did some neglected chores around the house. She wanted to show she was recovered; that the old caring Bella was back. The one who had parented her parents. When Charlie got home, she had dinner ready and waiting in the oven and the kitchen gleamed. At least she could care for Charlie, but she still had no idea what to do about Quil and Jake.

But she had forgotten the thought that crossed her mind at the feminine products stand.

FF_2154210_ - 14/05/2011 02:07:00 PM


	15. Embry's plan

**Chapter 15 Embry's plan**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Embry had got quite a way north before his disappearance had been noted and his mother had raised the alarm. Sam had checked in with him and he had told Sam what he wanted to do. Sam couldn't order him_ not_ to; he wasn't the alpha any more. And plus it was as good an idea as Sam had heard for a while. He gave Embry his blessing.

Embry knew Jake would go north to Canada and maybe on to Alaska. They had discussed it once. He thought he would stay wolf. He knew Jake wouldn't want to be near people. He'd probably even avoid real wolves. He'd be a lone wolf. His survival could be assured because of his human intelligence and his super fast healing, if anything did happen to him. So the only place that Embry could think of where he could do that was Alaska.

Once Jake had got out of range and couldn't order them out of his head, they could all phase. Embry had thought about it a lot and he came up with a plan. He didn't know what Jake was thinking but he suspected that he had no real understanding of how Bella and Quil had been with each other. Quil had told him what had happened. Jake had just found Bella's panties in Quil's pocket and he had snapped. He hadn't seen them together and they hadn't faced him together.

Jake didn't know what had happened; not really. He could smell sex. But Embry thought there was more to it than just that.

He and Quil had discussed Bella a lot after the whole disastrous morning at the Black house. Neither of them knew her very well. And they had not really come to any conclusion about her behaviour. Quil knew she wanted to fuck him and that was about it. Quil had assumed that she had ticked that box and now didn't want to deal with it; or deal with** him**.

Yeah Jake was right to be upset. The timing was bad, the whole thing could have been handled so much better, but sometimes shit just happened for a reason. Embry thought Jake had to break up with Bella anyway because one day he was going to **imprint**.

The dreaded capital 'I' word. They all feared getting involved with anyone just in case they imprinted. You just couldn't let yourself love someone if you thought you could betray them later. It was a dreadful sword hanging over all their heads, but they all knew it might happen eventually.

Jake was the leader of the pack. The wolf gods would make sure that** he **would carry that on. Imprinting had to be a certainty for Ephraim Black's descendant. He had to breed newer, stronger wolves; he was the most impressive wolf they had. No one was bigger or stronger than Jake. He was going to imprint some day and he would break Bella Swan's heart. He had to be realistic about that. Some of the other wolves may not imprint; but not their Alpha, not their leader. Well at least that was what Embry thought.

And Jake had never imprinted on Bella. Not even when they had sex within the tribal boundaries. Jake had told him that they had finally done it. They had had sex. But he didn't seem that happy about it. Embry suspected that Jake had pushed Bella into something she probably would not have been ready for just yet. She probably felt she owed Jake with all the crap that was going on with the pack protecting her. He knew girls who thought like that. Embry knew all about the magic with the tribal land too. If imprinting didn't happen then, then it was **never going to happen with Bella.** And Jake should have let Bella go.

He suspected that Jake knew that too.

But being Embry, He didn't say any of that to Jake at the time. And maybe he should have. He kind of blamed himself. If he had told Jake then, about his theory that Bella was not the girl for him; then maybe they would have broken up before the battle and none of this would have happened. The pack would have still taken out Victoria; he was sure of that, but none of the other stuff would have happened.

Didn't matter how Jake felt about Bella. She was not the one for him. He could see it for himself if he really thought about it. So the wolf gods had somehow made her and Quil close.

Call it a consolation prize for Bella; you can't have _that_ wolf but we can offer you _this_ one. The wolf gods put them together and left them to it. Embry thought it was a good solution; Bella was still pack, she and Jake would still be close, Bella would still be safe. Whatever the heck was going on with her supernatural attraction; she needed protecting, and Embry suspected that she always would. So who better to put her with than one of their strongest wolves? Quil Ateara.

So maybe it was better that she was with Quil, where Jake could keep an eye out for her. She could still be one of his best friends; he could still look after her.

She just wouldn't be with him.

Embry loved watching people. He did it all the time. He watched Sam with Emily, and Jared with Kim. He knew exactly how the imprinted wolves were with their women. Quil was more or less the same with Bella. He had almost refused to let Embry carry her for fuck's sake. He said he wasn't imprinted but Embry thought he was something else damn close.

Quil was Jake's best friend too. Quil knew how Jake felt about Bella. So what had happened to make him even go there? He wouldn't have kissed her let alone fucked her, without something happening. It had to be the gods interfering in Embry's book.

And Embry thought they had their reasons. He might not know what it was yet…

So as he ran he broadcast his memories of Quil and Bella together. The way they had looked at each other; the way Quil had carried her; the way she had snuggled in against him and whispered to him; they way Quil had looked when he had lifted his chin and admitted to Embry what had happened. He knew Quil and so did Jake. Quil was the rez clown; the guy who turned everything into a joke. Who didn't take anything seriously. They had both seen Quil turn girls away when they got too close. He was not going to settle down. He liked playing the field.

He was a changed man; that first morning in the cave.

And he was in love with Bella now. Embry knew it. He was drinking himself into the couch every night and he was slowly self-destructing because she was cut off from him.

He was behaving exactly like an imprinted wolf did when he was away from his partner. Jared was alone for a couple of weeks when Kim had some family thing on the other side of the country. They all nearly went crazy with him.

And Bella was no better. Embry had snuck over to her house and he could hear her heart beat. She sat in a chair, stared out a window and she did…

Not.

Move.

She didn't smile; she didn't laugh and she didn't come out to the rez.

Embry would bet his life on the fact that Quil and Bella were in love. And he might be betting his life. He didn't imagine that Jake would be pleased to see him; nor would he be pleased to 'see' Embry's message.

To Embry it seemed almost like imprinting. Even if it was just plain ordinary love; it was strong. And jake should give them a chance. At least it seemed like they should be together. He knew it would be a slap in the face for Jake and he hoped it was enough of a slap to snap him out of his hissy fit.

Embry no longer gave a fuck about Jake's hissy fit. Enough was enough. The tribe was rudderless; Bella and Quil were lost and Billy sat around with his heart breaking in his chest. Embry couldn't stand it any more. He knew running away like this would hurt his mother but it had to be done.

So he phased and he ran. He stayed wolf too; eating what he caught for himself, drinking from the streams and sleeping curled up under a log. He avoided towns.

He knew he was on the right track. He just knew it. He didn't need to scent him or see a giant paw print to see signs of Jake's passing. Early on he saw smashed trees as the Alpha took out his rage on whatever he could find.

He knew that Jake would still be wolf. He had to be. He had kept ordering them out, so he was still phased then, but Embry suspected that Jake would not want to be human right now. He would be embracing his animal.

Embry crossed the borders and he kept running.

And as he ran, he put Quil and Bella and their love for each other on full, surround sound wolfcast. Right in Jake's face; wherever the hell he was. If he wanted to break his jaw like he had broken Quil's that was fine; but he couldn't stop him thinking it at him. And he would have to come and face him in order to break his jaw. And if the rest of the pack picked it up that was fine too. Quil had been ostracised and had barely phased since the battle. So none of the others knew what Quil felt about her. Maybe it was time they did.

That was Embry's plan.

And he hoped like fuck it worked.

FF_2154210_ - 15/05/2011 05:05:00 AM


	16. Late

**Chapter 16 Late**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**[AN: I am rabid about safe sex, I usually put a warning in each story – I even called the cave chapter 'Protection', and she had visions with small children and one reader (just one) suggested she might get pregnant – so the Jessica Fletcher award for keen observiness goes to iJeedai – you go girl!]**

Bella was sound asleep when that little voice in her head that had been trying to talk to her all day, finally resorted to shouting out its message. She woke with a start. It took her a couple of beats to get the whole message.

Then she threw the covers off and started to rifle through her drawers. Eventually she found what she was looking for and then she sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at it as she held it in her hands.

It was an unopened box of tampons. She had bought it a long time ago and she had not used any of them.

"Oh… holy crow," she said to herself.

She hadn't used any of the tampons, because she hadn't had a period for weeks.

She put her face in her hands and she tried to hold herself together. She needed to think. She remembered Jake putting on a condom. But she and Quil had not. It didn't rule Jake out all together but it reduced his chances. And she and Quil had had sex more than once. She had a memory of wiping herself on the sleeping bag. All that liquid. Had she had a period in between them? She couldn't remember.

Oh, oh, she had to not panic. First things first. She needed a test. Maybe it was just stress. Sometimes women got irregular when they were under stress… right… stress… it had to be stress… it was just stress. Stress.

She crawled back into her bed and huddled under the blankets. There was no going back to sleep now. She shivered a little.

She lay there and she thought about her vision. She had three babies in that vision. A boy, a girl and an unknown. Which was the eldest? She tried to remember. She thought it might have been the girl. She had longer legs and she had been beating her little brother in the race towards their parents. The little boy looked to be younger than two years old. That age when little kids still have some baby fat. He was a solid little guy with solid little baby legs, and he couldn't run as fast as his sister.

She caught herself wishing to meet them all.

She caught herself hoping to scoop that little chubby legged boy up in her arms and reassure him that she loved him just as much, even if he couldn't run as fast as his sister.

But most especially she wanted to know who it was behind her. Who was their daddy? Her battered heart hoped that it was Quil.

Gosh, that would make the little guy Quil Ateara VI. Like they would give up that tradition; the 'hand me down name' as Jake had called it in the garage that day when they were laughing about Quil and Embry and their odd names.

Bella Swan, the only child, caught herself wishing for a family. Charlie had never remarried; he barely even dated. Renee was happy with her much younger man, but they hadn't had kids and they probably never would. Bella didn't even have any step siblings.

The same girl, who was willing to embrace death to be with Edward forever, was now almost completely sold on a future of **life**. That revelation startled her. Now she wanted the whole package; the man, the kids and the house with the swing set and toys strewn around the yard. And a dog. Kids needed a dog.

She didn't know where that thought came from. She had never had a pet of any kind. She couldn't even keep a cactus alive in Forks.

She did manage to fall asleep; wrapped up in her warm blankets with dreams of wolves, the forest and chubby legged small children.

When she woke in the morning she ate breakfast with Charlie before he went off to work. He was almost chatty; but he avoided any serious topics, like what she was going to be doing with herself. She understood it was his way of giving her some more time. Thank goodness for Charlie and his inability to hover.

Forks was a small town. Three thousand one hundred and twenty people at last count and they all knew Charlie Swan. If any of them sold Charlie Swan's daughter a pregnancy test, not only would the entire town know in half an hour, but so too, would Charlie Swan.

There was only one shop keeper she could think of who would not tell a soul that Bella Swan had bought a pregnancy test. Could she wait another day or so? She would just have to. She could not drive out to the rez two days in a row, without a reasonable excuse.

She tried to be normal. But she wasn't very good at it. Her mind was as distracted with thoughts of babies as it had been with thoughts of Jake and Quil. Babies suddenly seemed to be everywhere.

She waited two days; that seemed reasonable. And then she popped in to visit Billy Black. She brought him a chicken and rice casserole that would probably last him a few days. They had a cup of tea together. There was no news of Jake or Embry. She told Billy she thought Embry was looking for Jake. Billy agreed that Sam had confirmed that that was what he was doing.

And then when she felt she had been social enough, she went to the shop. The door bell jangled and she smiled tentatively at Rowana, who luckily, was behind the counter today.

She picked up a few extra items to add to her basket; lord knows why. To disguise the box in her basket? The box seemed to pulsing with some kind of fluorescent light to her. It was madness to try and disguise it, but she couldn't help it.

She clutched at the handles of the basket and she walked slowly and deliberately towards the cashier.

She kept breathing in and out.

She kept putting one foot after the other. She placed the basket on the counter very carefully.

"Hello again, Bella," Rowana greeted her politely.

"Hello… Rowana." She thought perhaps she ought to call her Mrs Ateara. But she had asked her to call her Rowana, so she did.

Rowana tallied up the few items without really looking at them, but Bella could pick the exact moment when she realised what it was that she held in her hand. She stopped. Her hand pressed against her heart and she glanced up at Bella quickly.

Bella blinked, dropped her gaze and blushed like a fire hydrant.

There was silence for a minute.

It was a heavy, weighty silence.

"Does he know?" Rowana asked.

"No… I-I'm not sure yet." She waved at the test box. Clearly she had bought it so that she could be sure.

Rowana tallied up her items and told her the total. Bella paid for them and placed them in her shopping bag. But then Rowana surprised her.

"Can you do it here?"

"The test?' clarified Bella.

Rowana nodded.

She thought about it. She had come here because she knew Rowana wouldn't tell anyone. Was it churlish to deny her the knowledge of the actual result? It may be her grandchild if it existed at all.

"Sure," she agreed. "Will it work now? I mean… does it have to be in the morning or something?"

Their heads bent together over the box as they checked the instructions. It seemed the test could be done any time if you had missed a period some weeks ago. It was only in the very early stages that you needed to do the test first thing in the morning. Rowana showed her to a small bathroom at the back of the shop. She perched on the toilet and followed the instructions. She placed the stick on top of the test box on the counter. She was supposed to wait for 10 minutes.

She was washing her hands when she heard a very light tap at the door. It was Rowana.

"I couldn't wait…" she explained nervously. "I turned over the fifteen minute sign."

Bella nodded. She understood. She was not sure that she could wait either.

They looked at each other. And then in some unspoken need Rowana reached for Bella's hands. They held hands and they looked at each other and they waited for two more minutes.

Bella didn't think she could look at it. She wasn't brave enough. She knew that they promised certainty with the test and that was what she needed right now. Certainty. Was she or wasn't she?

She exhaled loudly and picked up the test.

It was positive.

FF_2154210_ - 16/05/2011 02:00:00 PM


	17. Reactions

**Chapter 17 Reactions**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella stood there with the test held in her hand. It was positive. She had suspected at some level that it would be, but now she had the certainty she had wanted. She was pregnant. She just didn't know _how_ pregnant. How many weeks was she and was it Jake's or Quil's baby?

Rowana looked so happy but then she got a look on her face as if she thought she ought to wait to see Bella's reaction. Bella didn't have a reaction right now because she had gone into a kind of shock. She just stood there with the test in her hand.

Rowana's obvious happiness had kind of short circuited her.

"He'll be **so** excited," Rowana gushed.

"No," Bella panicked. "You can't tell him…** I** can't tell him… I just need some time…" She needed to do some calendar checking too. Just in case.

Rowana studied her panicked face and then she nodded. "I can understand that," she said. "It's your decision." And then she seemed to think of something. "You're not going to…" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Oh no," interrupted Bella. "I could _never_ do that." She twisted her hands nervously and bit her lip. "I just need some time…" she repeated. She suddenly clutched at Rowana's arm. "Promise me? Promise me you won't tell Quil!"

Rowana looked conflicted but she nodded. "I promise I won't tell Quil." She didn't sound happy about it, but she did promise and even though Bella barely knew her, Rowana struck her as the kind of woman who kept her promises.

Bella looked relieved.

"If you need to talk, I'm always here," Rowana offered. "I can give you my address and phone number, if you like… just in case you wanted to talk. I know you have a mother and…" Her voice trailed off as if she thought she might be overstepping her boundaries.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that. My mother is a little… crystally. She's often not good with the big stuff." Bella managed to smile at her, she took the offered information and then she slowly and carefully made her way out of the shop. She picked up her shopping bag from the counter. She looked like she was on auto-pilot.

Rowana watched her leave. And then she picked up the pregnancy test from the vanity and put it back in the box. She closed her eyes for a second, as if she was making a wish or praying and then she took the box with her.

Bella put her unnecessary purchases in the truck. She felt numb.

She was not sure what to do now. She went to the park that overlooked First Beach and sat on a bench in the rare sunshine and tried to think. She was eighteen years old and she was pregnant. Quil wasn't talking to her. Well he was, but it was mostly shouting at the minute. He frightened her. Jake was gone.

She thought about Charlie and Renee and how they would handle the news. She thought about Billy and Rowana. She got the idea that they would probably all deal with this way better than Quil and Jake would.

What had she written in the note to Quil? That she wasn't sorry she had sex with him? So she couldn't be sorry about the result of that act. Assuming Quil was the father.

She sat there and she decided that she wasn't sorry.

So she wasn't going to behave like she was sorry or ashamed. She would wait until she was sure nothing was going to go wrong and then she would tell the people who needed to know. So after twelve weeks then. Maybe sixteen.

Was it fair to make this decision without discussing it with the possible fathers? Probably not. But she was just not up for the shouting from Quil and Jake wasn't even here. And it was all new and she was still dealing with it all. So yes, she was going to keep quiet… for now.

She remembered reading an article about how women were more likely to cheat or be promiscuous when they were ovulating. Nature's way of mixing up the gene pool. She would have to recheck her calendar and count some days; she was normally as regular as clockwork. She had just lost track in all the stress of being hunted by vampires. She couldn't blame nature. **She** had done what she wanted to do. And she didn't regret it. She had a memory flash of Quil in the cave. Just thinking about it made her feel hot.

She thought of Quil the last time she had seen him; he was angry. And hurt. And she had neglected him. She sighed. She had to make it up to him somehow.

But not today. She didn't feel like she was up for more shouting today. Today she needed to look after herself. Get herself back on even keel before she fought any more battles. She went grocery shopping for herself and Charlie. Lots of fruit and fresh vegetables. She was going to be very healthy. And none of that silly eating for two rubbish; it was just an excuse to eat the wrong things.

She was going to do everything right and give this little person the best chance they had to be all they could be. This little girl. She knew it was a girl from the vision. If that was what it was trying to tell her.

Now that was weird. One small test result and a long hug from Seth, had changed her from a girl who sat in her desk chair and stared, unmoving out of her window into a girl who wanted to live again. She had a reason to live now.

When she got home, she did some research on the internet. She discovered that the amount of weeks you were pregnant didn't count from the time you had sex, it counted from the date of your last period. She checked the calendar and counted from the last time she had marked her period days. She always put a big blob mark next to the days she had her period. She realised that she had some spotting after having sex with Jake. It must have been her period but with the stress and everything else that was going on with Victoria and the newborns, she had lost track of the days back then. She wasn't even at home so she hadn't marked it on her calendar. She had been staying with Jake while the pack prepared for the battle with Victoria and Charlie was in Seattle.

So it couldn't have been Jake. Jake was not the father. She felt infinitely relieved that her life was not going to be that complicated. Dealing with Quil was bad enough right now.

He was just there, so close. In the apartment behind the shop. But she just had too much to deal with at the moment and she felt that telling him about this right now would make things **more** complicated, not less. It would not be a burden shared.

Quil. She must have ovulated the day after having sex with Quil. That would make sense; more than a week after her period finished. Her body had happily released an egg into a waiting pool of little wolf swimmers. And they would have pounced.

FF_2154210_ - 17/05/2011 02:22:00 PM


	18. Jake & Embry

**Chapter 18 Jake & Embry**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

* * *

><p>Embry heard the howl before he felt Jake's presence. Now his cunning Wile E. Coyote fool proof plan was going to come to completion. And he was going to get the living shit beaten out of him. Just like Quil. Strengthened by the fact that his friend could do it, he tried to reach Jake again. They were both his friends and he needed to try and fix this.<p>

_You'll imprint Jake._

Fuck! That would make him hunt him down to beat the shit out of him. Talk about poking a bear… At least he wouldn't have to find Jake, Jake would find him.

_You'll imprint and you will break her heart Jake. Look what happened when Cullen left her._

He tried not to think about his bones breaking and instead he kept playing the montage of Quil and Bella together; the way they touched each other; the way they looked at each other; the way he had carried her; etc etc. It was all Embry had.

_She loves him Jake. At least I think she does._

Another howl.

_He loves her. If it isn't imprinting, then it is something so close to it… I don't know what it is, but I know Quil is killing himself because he is way from her… maybe its just normal, ordinary love…but whatever it is… she feels it too._

He could hear the growl now. Jake must be really close. But he had his attention and he hadn't alpha ordered him to stop or to phase **or** to leave him alone. Embry felt the tiniest piece of hope. He sincerely hoped Jake was tired of running.

_J: shut up Embry… please just shut the fuck up…_

_E: you are not for her…_

_J: the hell I'm not… __**what**__ I'm not good enough for her?_

_E: no… you're__** too **__good for her Jake…_

_J: fuck you Embry_

_E: just listen to me Jake and then you can tear me apart_

There was a pause.

_J: fine. _It sounded like it was dragged out of him.

Embry didn't know where he was but he didn't need to know to communicate like this.

_E: you didn't imprint on her... did you? Not even when you had sex on tribal land… _

Silence.

_E:… did you?_ he pushed.

_J: n-no_

_E: you love her… nobody doubts that Jake… but she is not for you… imagine if you were together and you imprinted on someone… imagine what__** that **__would do to her… you are our true Alpha; the son of the chief… you are our__** prince**__, Jake… and she is not Quileute… she's not even native American…if you imprinted, she'd kill herself… she would do something really stupid like that Jake… you know her… you know what happened the last time someone left her…_

_J: she would jump off a cliff_

_E: Quil loves her… I think he really does…normal, ordinary love… the kind you probably can't have… because of who and what you are… _

_J: I… I can't…_

_E: if you really love her, let her go… let her be with Quil…_

_J: she's mine_

Embry took a deep breath.

_E: no she's not… _

And he played the memories of the way Bella looked at Quil. There was an agonized howl that ended in an actual scream. Jake had phased out.

It took Embry another fifteen minutes or so, to find him. Once he had found him, he phased out himself. Jake sat, naked and filthy in the leaf litter. He was rocking himself back and forth. Embry quietly sat opposite him and he waited.

Eventually Jake's rocking subsided and he lifted a dirty, tear tracked face to him. His hair was matted with leaves and dirt. He had clearly gone almost completely feral in the wilderness.

"I love her, Em."

"I know."

Silence.

"She knows you love her too. She told Quil that she loves you… but just not like 'that'. She must have told you that," he pressed. He had to get through to him, even if what he was saying was hurting him.

Silence. Jake drew in a gulping breath.

Embry spoke again, "I think it is a pretty good solution… Quil is … I mean its Bella Swan. She is going to attract trouble, you know it. If she is with one of us, we can all protect her. She'll be safer with us than she would anywhere else. She'd have to be a vampire to be more protected or out of trouble, although I suspect she could still find it, even if she had been turned. I do not know what it is about that girl that attracts the supernatural. If she is with us, she'd still be your friend and she would still be in your life. Just try and stop her."

Jake managed a harsh chuckle. "Yeah," he admitted.

"You could be best friends again," Embry suggested. "But this…" he gestured at Jake with one hand. "This is hurting everyone."

No answer.

He tried again. "Quil is one of our strongest. He'll look after her properly. He's already different since then. He's not dating anyone. He's not even looking."

"How do you know Quil won't imprint on someone?" Jake asked pointedly.

Embry sighed. "I don't… but I KNOW you will imprint. I just know it." There was a beat. "And so do you, Jake if you are really honest with yourself."

Silence. This one lasted for quite a long time.

Embry spoke again, "But it's all a bit of a mess right now," he admitted.

"It is?" Jake sounded concerned.

"Bella is…" Oh he really didn't want to tell Jake this. "She's gone zombie again Jake… she just sits in her house."

"Show me** everything,**" ordered Jake. He used the alpha timbre.

They both phased and Embry replayed everything that had happened. The mess left with Jake gone; Sam stepping up again, the whole tribe lost with Jake running; his father sitting alone in the dark; the council meeting where Quil took all the blame and Bella sitting in her house staring out a window. He couldn't hold anything back; Jake had ordered him not to. Quil drinking himself into the ground and losing his sunny, clownish outlook.

_J: enough! Phase out!_ He sounded devastated.

They sat again on the ground.

"Jeez what a clusterfuck," Jake stated.

Silence.

"And it's all my fault."

Embry shrugged. "Not all…" he admitted.

"I hurt them both. I beat up Quil and I threw her into a wall. She was bleeding, Embry. I love her and I hurt her. I will never forgive myself for that. And Quil? I didn't know that Quil wouldn't fight back… I didn't know that. I was just so angry…"

"Jake you didn't really hurt her… I mean look at Emily… you, or Quil for that matter could have phased and you would have torn her apart between you… neither of you did that… she just got a cut and a bump on the head… she was fine… she _did_ need a couple of stitches, but that was all and then she went home. For Bella, it was a small injury… really it was. Barely even as bad as when she banged her head bike riding that day."

Silence. Jake's laboured breathing filled the small clearing. "I can't run anymore." He sounded as tired as he clearly felt.

"Run home Jake," said Embry. And really that **was **the only solution.

Jake was silent now.

"And I will run with you," Embry offered. He stood and offered Jake his hand to pull him up.

Jake gave Embry one of those male shoulder grab things that serve for a hug. "Thanks Em," he said.

Embry just smiled at him. "I saw a pool in the river back there; I need a wash and a soak before we start back," he suggested tactfully.

"Yeah," said Jake. "Me too."

It was a start.

They washed, hunted and slept. They started back the next day.

Embry was so used to playing the Quil/Bella montage that he kept forgetting and flashing Jake parts of it.

_E: Sorry._

J: _She doesn't look at me like that._ It sounded like it was wrung out of him.

Embry didn't know what to say to that admission. _She loves you Jake; she always has, but…_

_J: yeah she told me… And you know what makes it worse…? I kind of knew that… but I thought…_

Silence.

_J: I don't know what I thought… that if I rescued her… that if I put her back together… that if I just did__** one more thing**__… it would be enough… that one more thing would tip the balance from friendship into love… but it just doesn't work like that does it Embry? You just can't force it… I know that now._

Embry didn't answer him.

They kept running. At one stage Embry's mind wandered off into what Bella would do if she and Jake were together and he imprinted. The whole pack knew her reckless behaviour with the motor bikes was so that she could hear Edward's voice in her head. It was borderline crazy stuff. He imagined she would do something reckless and stupidly dramatic. Jump off a cliff like Jake had suggested.

_J: She would __**so**__ jump off a cliff… that would be just dramatic enough for her…she couldn't cut her wrists… she faints at the smell of blood…and she is no good with guns, so she would never shoot herself…_

Silence.

Each day Embry got a little more of the thoughts about Quil and Bella out of his head. It was like exposing Jake in small doses.

Silence.

They were human one time when Jake worked up the courage to ask about something else that had been worrying him.

"Dad?" Jake asked.

"He's just… waiting… that's the only way I can think to describe it… he's waiting for you to come home… I think. He does everything else, but it is as if half his attention is on you."

"Bella?"

"She's gone zombie again. No screaming in her sleep, but she's bad this time… Charlie is in a fit about it… he doesn't know what to do…because you fixed her last time. And now you aren't there." Embry was hesitant to add more to Jake's weight.

"Why isn't Quil with her? If he loves her so much…" He sounded sarcastic.

"She won't talk to him; won't take his calls… she didn't go to the hearing… Quil thinks she hates him… she wasn't there for him …so he drinks… he's frightened to go and see her… he thinks she blames him and she…"

"Fuck!" Jake stood and punched a tree. "She will blame _herself_… for everything… I know her… she will take the blame for every death and every injury and she isn't strong enough Em, she can't take it…"

They ran faster after that.

FF_2154210_ - 18/05/2011 04:39:00 AM


	19. Billy & Rowana

**Chapter 19 Billy & Rowana**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Billy opened his door to find Rowana Ateara on his porch. She looked agitated and flustered. She had even got dressed so distractedly that her shirt buttons were out of alignment.

"Does she talk to you?" she asked intently without an introduction or a greeting.

Billy didn't need to ask which 'she' Rowana was talking about; it had to be Bella Swan. That girl left a trail of total carnage behind her. "Rowana," he greeted her. "I guess that you had better come in if we are going to discuss her," he said as he rolled his chair back to allow her entrance.

By the time they had both settled at his kitchen table with a hot drink in their hands, Rowana had organised her thoughts a little better. Billy thought about offering her something stronger. What was it about that girl?

"Bella?" prompted Billy assuming his guess was correct.

"She talks to you?"

So he was right.

"She does," he conceded.

"Does she tell you everything?"

"I suspect not, but that is understandable." He frowned at Rowana. "She has known me for a long time and that makes it easier to talk to me about some things, but not about others… but on the other hand, I am not a woman and she does tend to blush a lot." He added, "**And** I am Jake's father. That tends to make things difficult as well if he is involved in what she wants to talk about."

Rowana breathed out heavily. "I don't want to break her confidence but I think we need to piece together what she has told each of us. I have stressed over this for days but I truly believe it's the only way we will get the full story."

So that explained the harried dressing and the agitation. "Agreed." He paused. "You first."

Rowana gave him a look clearly accusing him of cowardice. Then she took a deep breath. "She's pregnant," she said without preamble.

Billy blinked. That was** not **what he expected her to say. "It's the vision…" he muttered.

"The vision?"

Billy described Bella's vision to Rowana. Just a short description.

"Three children?" She sounded so excited. "But that's wonderful!" her face lit up. "Three grandchildren! I was always so terrified that something would happen to Quil… that the Ateara name would… be… gone…" She seemed to substitute the last word for something she didn't want to say. "Especially after he joined the pack. It is so important to the family; as he is number five… five generations…"

"I have other children; daughters," agreed Billy. "But I understand your concerns." Jake had been seriously injured in the newborn battle and it had worried Billy more than he had let anyone know. His heart hurt for Sue with both her children being in the pack. This was the burden they all carried as pack parents.

"Quil is my only child and I am too old to have another. And _my_ Quil is gone. And old Quil was so proud of him when he transformed, but I… I was so worried for him." Her voice dropped to a whisper as she confessed that. "Not _my_ baby."

"It is an honour and a burden," admitted Billy. He of all people had more to carry with only one son. One son who was the leader of the pack and his only heir. Billy literally had all his eggs in one basket too. He completely understood Rowana's fears.

He looked at Rowana sharply. "Is the baby Quil's?" It would be even more disastrous if it was Jake's given the way things were turning out.

"I think so… at least Bella thinks so."

"He doesn't know? She hasn't told him?"

"No, she made me swear not to tell him until she had." She looked mischievous for a second. "But I didn't promise not to discuss it with you."

"No. I suppose not." He grinned at her.

"The only reason I know, is that she bought the pregnancy test from me. Small town gossips," Rowana explained. "She was concerned about buying a test somewhere else and the gossip starting. It was too early for her to go to the hospital, and there are gossips there too."

"Yes, especially for the Sherriff's daughter. She is smart… that girl. Even though she does spend a lot of time at the hospital, so her visit would not be unexpected. News like that would indeed travel quickly through the town."

They sat there, absorbed in their thoughts.

Billy broke the silence first. "She must tell everyone at the same time."

"Everyone?"

"Jake, Quil, … everyone."

He sat in thought for a couple of minutes.

"What if we reconvene the tribal council? Make it a closed meeting, with just the main people involved and the pack. It would continue where the earlier meeting left off, so no one would be concerned about it. We wouldn't have any extra observers." He made a little satisfied noise. "We'll do it when Jake gets back," he added.

Rowana noticed the 'when'. She raised an eyebrow.

"Embry found him. He convinced him to come home. Sam heard from him and Embry this morning. None of the rest of the pack knows. Sam was still phasing and checking on him each day." He breathed out heavily. "He is coming home. I have asked Sam to keep it quiet, as much as he can."

Rowan clasped his hand where it lay on the table. "I am **so **glad to hear that. We were all concerned."

Billy nodded and squeezed her hand back. He studied Rowana. He hadn't told her everything about Bella's vision.

"In Bella's vision, the first child was a girl but the second child was a boy," he said. "She described him as solid and chubby-legged."

Rowana held her hand over her mouth.

"Another Quil Ateara, I presume," Billy added with a rascally glint in his eye. He and Quil's father had grown up together.

"Oh," said Rowana. "He was just like that; so solid, even as a baby."

"I remember," said Billy.

They sat there lost in their recollections of earlier, easier times. Simpler times. When their lives were so much less complicated. Less magical but sometimes, that was a good thing. There was an old Chinese curse; 'may you live in interesting times'. Life had been 'interesting' in La Push for a while now and they had had casualties.

Billy sighed. "She hates emotional confrontations. The only way you will convince her to attend the Council meeting, is to argue that one big scene will be easier for her to deal with, than several smaller ones. Try the native justice angle too. She is very aware that she is not Native American and we can use that against her."

"She also feels guilty that she didn't attend the previous Council hearing," Rowana added.

"Guilt," breathed Billy. "Yep. That should do it."

The conspirators grinned at each other. They both knew Bella Swan well.

"I don't feel bad at all," said Rowana with a laugh.

"A woman will do much for her grandchildren. Even if they barely exist yet," said Billy sagely.

"Oh, but they **will** exist," she proclaimed. "I know that they will. And I have prayed for them."

* * *

><p>So Billy spoke to Sam and Sam told Embry and Jake to go to his house. To clean up when they arrived. They were to do so subtly, and keep their arrival a secret. No one was to see them. Sam would keep the rest of the pack un-phased as he had done since he first made contact with Embry. They had got used to their hiatus although their wolves were almost literally itching for some action. If it leaked it wouldn't matter as the pack was pretty good at keeping secrets. They all wanted this situation fixed as well. They missed their alpha.<p>

Sam would lend them both some clothes and they would all attend the Council meeting. It was an order from the Chief. Embry didn't think he could remember Billy ever making an order before. Maybe he had just never been the subject of one previously.

They were to attend the tribal council hearing with Sam and the whole pack.

Rowana convinced Bella to come out for the tribal meeting too. She argued that she had missed the last one. She played on her guilt about that. She had left Quil on his own to face everyone. Bella stressed about Quil being there. She_ didn't _know Jake would be there too. Rowana could see how stressed she was.

"You need to attend Bella," she encouraged. "One tribal council meeting… get it all over and done with in one meeting… most of the people attending, you know… Quil will be there of course… and the pack. But you know all of them as well."

"I wish Jake was here," Bella yearned. "I miss him so much Rowana and this is all my fault."

"Attending the hearing will help you, Bella. I am sure that it will. And you did miss the last one…" she pressed. She didn't tell Bella Jake would be there, she was concerned that Bella would chicken out if she knew.

"Yes, you are right." Bella chewed at her lip. "I should go…"

"Yes," agreed Rowana. "And then it will **all **be over…"

Sam was also told to get Paul and Jared to make sure Quil was clean, sober and presentable as well. Forcibly if need be. And to get him to the same meeting. And for the love of all that was sacred, to give him a haircut.

FF_2154210_ - 18/05/2011 07:03:00 PM


	20. The hearing

**Chapter 20 The hearing**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**[AN: have your tissues ready. You may cry. I know I did and I wrote the dang thing…]**

Bella peeked through the window of the council meeting hall. She wanted to see all the people attending the hearing. She had rushed up there before Rowana could stop her.

"Jakes back!" she squealed. "And Embry! They're back!" She bounced in place. "This is wonderful." She hugged Rowana. "And Quil looks a little better. I mean he is clean." She rushed back for another look.

Jake glanced towards the door as if he had heard Bella. Embry sat between Jake and Quil. They glowered at each other. They would probably have preferred to have been on opposite sides of the room but it looked like the whole pack was sitting together. Embry was probably the only person that could have sat between them, without an issue. Maybe the pack had been ordered to sit together. There were no other witnesses, so that was a small mercy.

Sam was on the other side of Quil and Leah on Jake. Jared and Paul sat behind each of them. They all looked like bodyguards. Well, they always looked like body guards, but today they looked like they were actually ready to stop any attacks; most probably from their 'clients'; Jake and Quil.

Bella studied the hall. "Oh," she said nervously. "I can't do this…"

"Yes, you can!" Rowana assured her. "I will come with you and hold your hand if you wish."

"I am not sure Quil will forgive me if I steal his mother too," she commented.

"Pfft," said his mother. "He has the pack." She brushed some imaginary lint off Bella's arms.

Bella watched her and wondered how this woman had subtly insinuated herself into Bella's life. Her children would be lucky to have her as their grandmother. If this all worked out. She sighed.

Rowana grabbed her hands before she could flail them nervously.

"You will be fine." She squeezed her hands again for emphasis. "Fine," she repeated. "They can't hurt each other in front of the council; everyone will know at the same time. You are not playing favourites. This is the best way. You told me about the vision and the council will understand about that too. We have talked about this."

"Do we really have to do it like this?" she asked for the thousandth time.

Rowana gave her a look.

Bella sighed again. "Yes." She inhaled deeply, Smiled tremulously at Rowana and headed for the door.

Billy sat at the centre of the tribal council members. He was the chief after all. She recognised Sue Clearwater and old Quil, but she didn't know the other two members.

"This meeting calls together the three parties involved in an assault. An earlier meeting was rendered inconclusive by the lack of attendance of two of the parties."

Rowana and Bella sat together at the side of the hallway. She almost snorted at the thought that she had a body guard too. The aisle separated them from the pack.

Billy was still speaking. He laid out that Jacob Black had struck Quil Ateara V resulting in a broken jaw and that Bella Swan had been thrown into a wall and had required stitches and was unconscious for some time.

Bella cringed at how bad it sounded. Jake made some small noise. Quil was silent.

"Who wishes to speak for Jacob Black?" asked Billy.

Bella stood up. "I do," she said simply, if not very loudly. She cleared her throat. She would have to be louder.

"Bella Swan," stated Billy, just in case no one knew who she was. "You want to speak for Jacob?" he checked.

She nodded.

"Go ahead."

She couldn't look at Jake and Quil. She stared fixedly at a point beyond Billy's head. She took a deep breath.

"It was not his fault," she started. "He had just received some… news…" She stopped talking.

"News?" prompted Billy.

"I …kind of … broke up with him."

She heard Leah snort and someone whacked her. Billy flicked an icy glance to the pack grouping.

Bella rushed to continue. "I don't think I handled it very well… he had just been through so much… for me… they all had… and I…"

_Oh she really needed to get herself together better._

"I didn't want to tell him when he was injured. It seemed better, at the time, to wait another day. But I can see now that that was the wrong way to handle it. I should have told him immediately. It was not fair of me to deceive him for another day. He had every right to be angry with me…"

"And with me," interrupted Quil.

"No," said Jake at the same time.

Billy made an abrupt hand gesture and they all fell silent. When silence reigned, he made another gesture at Bella to continue.

"I love Jake… but not as much as he deserves. He is my best friend, not my," she struggled for a word. She didn't want to say 'lover' but she settled on "…my heart's desire."

The first tear trickled down her cheek. She wiped at it angrily. "He is your heir… he will be your chief one day… and he will be a fabulous chief." She wiped at her face again. She lifted her head a little higher; she could do this. She had to do this.

"I am not the right partner for him," she stated.

Billy watched her. When she didn't continue, he asked, "Why do you believe that?"

"I am not Quileute. I am not Native American. I believe it is important to the tribe that their chief has a partner from his own tribe. The tribe has fought hard to maintain its integrity. You do not admit quarter bloods as others do and for a half blood to be accepted as Quileute they must be born on tribal land. You are very strict. More so than the other tribes."

She inhaled deeply.

"So _you_ decided you were not the right partner for him," Billy stated.

_Holy Crow that sounded terrible._

"I did," she stated. "Plus I had a… a vision."

There was an odd silence. Old Quil frowned at her. Sue looked intrigued.

Nervously Bella reached behind her and Rowana took her hand and squeezed it for reassurance.

"I saw…" she felt so odd to share this with everyone, but Rowana was right; they would respect it and the message it gave. They just didn't need to know _how_ she saw the vision. "I saw my children," she said. "I knew they were mine; I recognised them in my heart. Initially they ran out of the forest towards me. They came out of the forest with Jake. They were Native American. I thought the message from the vision was that they were our children…"

Jake made a choking kind of sound.

"…but," she continued. "Later I had a longer vision and I understood that Jake was their protector… he was their guardian in the forest… their father was standing behind me."

"How did you know it was their father behind you?" asked Billy.

"They called to him as they ran." She felt really odd now. She swayed a little where she stood. She took another deep breath. "I was pregnant with a third child… he… he put his hand on my stomach…" She uttered a strangled sob. She placed her own hand on her stomach.

She glanced at Quil. He was vibrating in his seat. The only reason he was still in it, was because Paul had in him a head lock. Sam was whispering in his ear and pressing down on his shoulder from the other side. She met his eyes. They stared at each other.

He took a gasping breath and closed his eyes; desperately trying to calm himself. The trembling eased. Sam must still have some authority, or else Quil was trying really, really hard.

She risked a glance at Jake. His eyes looked haunted.

"So," Billy continued. "On the basis of the vision and your feelings for Jacob. You made a decision."

"I did."

"Then what happened?"

"When I told Jake that we were finished, he got angry and he punched the wall."

"And?" prompted Billy.

"I did not know that Quil was outside the house. Quil thought I was in danger. He came into the kitchen and that just made it worse. Jake would never have hurt me. I think Quil thought to direct his anger away from me, so he made himself a target. I believe that Jake would not have hurt either of us…"

_Oh lord, she couldn't explain about Jake finding her panties in Quil's pocket._ "Um…he… he realised that Quil and I had… been… together… because of the way that Quil was protecting me," she finished lamely.

"I see," said Billy.

She blundered on. "It wasn't really Quil's fault either," she hastened to add. "He was only trying to protect me…"

"So Jacob hit him instead," old Quil spoke up.

Bella sighed. What a mess. "Yes," she admitted. "And then when I tried to stop him hurting Quil, I … I banged my head."

"I threw you into the wall," Jake spoke. He sounded bitter. "And you are speaking _for _me?"

"No, Jake, it was just bad luck that I hit the part that was already damaged. I wouldn't have got cut otherwise. I should have thrown myself onto Quil, not onto your arm… you just threw me… like I weighed nothing… "

"I should have trusted your judgment," Quil interrupted. "None of it would have happened if I had just stayed out of it. It was idiotic… playing the hero. Forgive me Bella… and Jake please."

"I hit you hard enough to break your jaw," said Jake incredulously to Quil.

"You're my Alpha…I couldn't fight you."

"Exactly… how could I do that to you?"

Quil shrugged. "I healed," he stated.

"I broke your heart, Jake," said Bella in a tiny voice.

Jake gave her a small smile. "I heal."

She wanted to hug him. She suddenly understood this kind of hearing; everything had been said. It was all out in the open and no one had got hurt this time. She realised that Billy had let them all say what they needed to say. But there was still one omission.

"I apologise for not being in attendance at the last hearing," she added. "I was not told about it."

"I apologise too," Jake added. "I …ran away. I did not face up to my actions; I did not make amends… I just ran. It was immature of me and I apologise to everyone; to my friends, to the pack and to the tribe." He was looking at his father as he said it. Billy nodded.

"I too handled it badly," Bella admitted. "I isolated myself and refused to talk to anyone about it… or help to deal with any of the mess that I made. If it wasn't for Seth…"

"Me too," piped up Quil. "I just got angry and stupid…"

Billy glanced at the other council members. "Anything else?" he asked. Nobody appeared to have any more things they wanted to apologise for.

Sue cleared her throat and glanced at Bella. "Bella if I may… the vision? Is it true?" she asked.

Bella nodded. She understood what Sue was asking. She placed her hand over her stomach again. "Yes," she admitted.

"So congratulations are in order…" Sue started to say.

Quil exploded out of his seat before anyone could grab him. He shot across the room at an inhuman pace. He came to a trembling halt about a foot in front of a half petrified Bella. He was so big and he had moved so fast, it had frightened her.

He reached out a hand towards her stomach. The hand shook too much; he barely had himself under control. Paul and Sam had followed him, but they stopped when he did. They took a step back when they understood he was not going to hurt her. She could see Jake watching them both. He had stood where he was but had not moved. Embry rose to his feet slowly, next to Jake.

"Mine?" Quil asked, as his hand came to rest on her belly.

She nodded.

She looked into his eyes. His other hand reached for her face. She leant her face against it. "Yours," she told him. "If the vision is right, it should be a girl."

His whole face lit up. "A girl," he repeated.

And then he grabbed her. He crushed her in against him and something within her loosened. She had missed him so much. She uttered a strangled sob. He released her quickly.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly.

"N-no," she sobbed.

He looked at her and his eyes softened. "Oh B," he said. "Don't cry." His big hands cradled her face and his thumbs wiped at the tears on her face. "Here… let me…" And he kissed her.

He was still kissing her when Paul whacked at him. "Jeez Quil, let the girl breathe."

"First pack baby, I want a hug too," said Sam.

And then the whole room was trying to hug her and congratulate everyone. Jake even came over to give her a hug.

"No," she whined. "I want a proper Jacob Black rib crusher hug."

He made a noise, but held her tighter.

"I'm so sorry Jake," she whispered into his ear.

"Yeah, me too," he admitted.

Quil was hugging his mother.

"Three," she was telling him. "At least three grandchildren."

Jake spoke very softly to Embry, "Yeah Em. You were right. I don't know what the hell that is, but it's strong. Just look at them."

"He's a different man," noted Embry. He clapped Jake on the shoulder. "We all forgive you… you know that… right?"

"Sure, sure," Jake muttered, but he softened it with a small smile at his friend. "You know Em, I never thought I would say this, but I am looking forward to sleeping in my own little bed."

FF_2154210_ - 19/05/2011 10:28:00 PM


	21. Clean sheets

**Chapter 21 Clean sheets**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

_AN: remember children: safe sex always_

Quil was glued to Bella's side. He would not let go of her hand even when other people hugged her. They kept looking at each other and grinning. It took some time for everyone to stop congratulating them both. Bella had hugged everyone in the hall she was sure by now. That was a pretty big deal for her. She was never that much into the touchy feely stuff. Bella Swan was not a hugger.

Quil insisted that she come back to his apartment. He apologised in advance for the sorry state of it. She told him she didn't care. They cleared a space on the couch and sat there holding hands.

"A baby girl." He still sounded so pleased.

"Well, maybe … you know if the vision was right."

"Mum knew?"

"I made her promise not to tell anyone, even you… _especially_ you." Her hands twisted nervously. "I thought it might make things worse… I just needed some time to sort out what I wanted to do. And then she suggested the meeting and telling everyone at once."

He nodded.

"We have to talk to Charlie," Bella suggested. "Sue is on the council… she knows. I have to tell Charlie. He will already be upset enough… that I have kept it from him this long… I mean he is no good with 'woman' stuff… it gives him hives…"

"Hey B." Quil squeezed her hand. "Don't panic. It'll be okay." His dark eyes radiated sincerity. "How many weeks are you?"

"Still early. It's only seven weeks now. So it's not a certainty…I mean something could happen."

"Nothing will happen," he said with such finality she was surprised.

"I am sorry I wrote such an awful apology letter Quil."

"It was heartfelt, I just misread it," he admitted.

"I was such an idiot Quil."

"Doesn't matter," he assured her. "I was an idiot too **and **so was Jake."

"But I treated you…" and she couldn't speak any more.

He had slapped his hand over her mouth.

She blinked.

"No," he said decisively. "We are **not** doing this. We are not doing an autopsy on what we did wrong. There is no point."

She blinked again. "Mffm ffm mm"

"What B?"

She frowned at him. He chuckled and released her.

"I said… I think you might be right."

"Huh. Really?"

She laughed at him. And then she hugged him. "Oh Quil…" she started.

"Stop it…" he warned her again.

"I wasn't going to say anything about that," she argued.

"Oh… sorry."

"I was going to say that I really, really missed you."

He scooped her up and held her on his lap. She turned in and snuggled down against his chest. "Well that's all right then. What snapped you out of it?" he asked with a worried expression.

"Seth climbed in my window. Initially I thought it was Jake and then he just hugged me and he wouldn't let me go. He made me shower, cooked me breakfast, made me eat and told me that suicide was not a spectator sport."

"Huh," said Quil again. "I didn't know Seth had it in him."

"He said he would rather fight newborns than do nothing."

"Now,_ that_ sounds like Seth."

They sat their companionably for a little while. He was rubbing her back.

She half wondered why he wasn't trying to get her into bed; she supposed they hadn't actually discussed it yet. Or even if there was a 'them'. "You know," she started. "Just because I am pregnant… it doesn't mean I can't… you know."

Quil raised an eyebrow. "I know."

Suddenly too close to him, she got off his lap, stood up and started to pace and twist her hands together nervously. She was thinking that maybe he didn't want to be with her. He seemed happy about the baby. But did he really want to be with her? He hadn't said anything. And he hadn't bundled her off into bed. She wound herself up to panic levels of nervousness.

Quil stood slowly and held his hands low in a placating gesture. "B? What on earth are you thinking about?"

"I'm not very good with the emotional stuff," she admitted. "I just get upset and I cry and then I can't talk and I just bottle it all up and I don't say what I want to say…"

"You're talking now," he pointed out.

"Yes I am." And then she stopped talking. Her self consciousness got the better of her.

"Did you want to try?" he asked. "Is that what this is about?" He was trying so hard to be conciliatory even though he was trying to guess what on earth she was nervous about.

She looked confused. "Try what?" she asked. "Talking?"

"Dating," he clarified. He was **so** hoping she would suggest something else.

"Oh." She paused. She rubbed her face. She played with her hair. She looked at the ground.

Quil watched her with a growing fear that she was going to say 'no'; she looked like a woman who was going to say 'no'.

"You mean, do coffee and lunches and movies and dinners...? Stuff like that?"

"Yeah," he confessed. "Stuff like that."

"No," she said. "I don't want to do that."

His head drew back as if she had slapped him. He thought it was coming but he was still shocked by her response.

"No… I don't want to do any of that…" she repeated. She looked at his agonized face. "Because that all takes too long and I just want you to be holding me now. I just want to be naked with you…" *

She didn't get to finish that sentence.

He had grabbed her and glued their lips together.

He ran, carrying her into the bedroom.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he exclaimed as he caught sight of his filthy bed.

Bella snorted. "Oh my God Quil, tell me you did not sleep in that?"

"I was upset," he said with dignity.

"Do you have any clean sheets… anything at all," she offered.

"Sure, sure. Let me go look in the linen cupboard." He kissed her when he put her down. "Fuck B, I'd run to Forks and buy some," he told her vehemently.

She beamed at him. "You look, I'll strip."

"Ho ho," he said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. "The bed, idiot."

"Yeah sure."

"Sheets, Quil," she reminded him when he still hadn't moved.

He darted out the door.

Her whole face screwed up. How on earth had they got him clean for the hearing? They must have hosed him down. Everyone else went wild in the forest, Quil did it inside. She tentatively approached the bed and took a handful of sheet. Trying not to inhale she bunched it all in the centre of the bed, untucking the edges and throwing them over the centre. In the end, she had a big pile she could lift and take to the laundry.

He had a washing machine. She dumped it all in and threw more soap on it than she would normally have used and started it up. Then she washed her hands.

Where was he? He wasn't in the house. She giggled at the thought he might be half way to Forks by now.

But then she heard the back door slam. "Got some clean sheets," he called. "I ran to mum's."

Bella flung her hands over her face in embarrassment. "You went to your mother's to borrow clean sheets?" She was mortified.

"Yeah," he said shaking them out over the mattress. He paused, looked at the mattress, threw the sheets on the floor and flipped the whole king size mattress over onto the other side in one swift motion.

Housework would be so easy with him around, she thought. There was no way she could turn a mattress by herself.

"You borrowed bed sheets from your mother?" she tried again.

"Yep, told her it was an emergency." He stopped. "Oh yeah…I see what you mean." Then he just shrugged and started making the bed. Bella stepped over to help him.

"She was married to Quil Ateara IV, you know," he pointed out, as he tucked in a corner. "It's not like she has never had sex before."

"Do we need a top sheet?"

He leered at her over the mattress. "I'll keep you warm, B. But put it on to soak up the sweat."

She got a weird look on her face. "Are you kidding?"

"Not really," he admitted.

She got an even weirder look on her face.

"You run, now B and I am chasing you down and dragging you back here," he promised her.

"Save it," she told him and then she snorted. "Wow I have a lot to learn about wolves, don't I?"

"I'll meet you in the middle," he offered with a pointed glance at the bed.

She laughed. "Okay."

They started to tear their clothes off, each standing on opposite sides of the bed. Quil won.

"No fair," whined Bella. "You only had cut-offs and a t-shirt on."

He crawled onto the freshly made bed and knelt right in the middle. She looked at him. It made her mouth go dry; he was magnificent. He knew she was watching him. He stared at her face. He ran a hand across his pectorals, down his chest, trailing lower, lower. Over his stomach and down the fine line of hair that trailed lower to cup himself. The second hand slid down the V shaped muscle at his hip. He played with himself with both hands and he swelled and grew under his practised touch. Staring intently at her the whole time.

She stood, frozen, watching him; still holding her panties in her hand. She was barely breathing.

He gave himself a stroke along his now hard length. She actually gasped.

"Get over here," he growled at her.

"O-oh yes," she said.

* * *

><p>[AN: * I kind of stole this dialogue from Buffy, not the actual words but the intent… but I just loved the concept of not wanting to date!]<p>

FF_2154210_ - 21/05/2011 04:38:00 AM


	22. Reconnecting

**Chapter 22 Reconnecting**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**[AN: remember children safe sex always.]**

Bella did some crawling of her own; straight towards the magnificent man in front of her. He watched her come towards him. She licked her lips.

On hands and knees, the way she was, her face pressed forward first. She paused; she was not entirely sure what to do, she had after all, had sex twice in her life. She knew what she wanted to do. She looked up at him. He seemed okay to wait for her.

That V shaped muscle fascinated her. It seemed to start somewhere up near his ribs and then it ran down in one long length down to his groin. She leant forward a little. He sucked in a breath, and she heard him do it. Hearing that, made her feel a little more confident. She knew now that she was affecting him just as much as he was her.

"You can't do anything to me that would be wrong… or that would hurt me," he whispered to her.

She sat back on her haunches and looked at him. "Anything… I want to do?" she asked. "Anything?" she checked.

"Yes," he agreed unhesitatingly.

She tilted her head and pretended to look like she was thinking about it. He grinned at her.

She reached out a hand and slowly traced down that V muscle. His cock twitched. She hadn't thought about that before; that it could move on its own. Well other than the obvious. It drew her attention. He seemed to be as burly there as he was elsewhere.

Just once Bella had accidently wandered onto a gay porn site. She had been searching for a literary review of a book, and the article was there, but there was so much more. The site did not have an obvious name that would have given it away. She had breathlessly seen the age warning sign and then she had been unable to stop herself scrolling down the page. No wonder it had taken so long to load on her old computer. The photos were of two guys, with their arms around each other and they were naked. Those guys had been well built and one was well hung but neither of them could have competed with Quil on the muscle side. The well hung magazine guy was long but his cock had tapered towards the end. Quil seemed to be the same thickness for his entire length.

He was still watching her; waiting for her. It seemed to be exciting him. She tried to look up at his face as she lowered her head, but she couldn't manage it. Besides, she kind of wanted to see what she was doing rather than look up at him.

She lowered her face, deliberately slowly. And she licked up the length of his cock. It was standing up against his stomach now and a little off to the left.

"Fuck B," he groaned.

She kissed him; right on the bell capped head and she got the faintest taste of musk and a kind of mushroomy smell before he grabbed her by the top of the arms and hauled her up to his face.

"This all started because you licked me," he told her in low voice. "In the cave..."

"I remember," she whispered. He stole her breath and her voice.

He was still holding her arms; she thought she might bruise but she didn't care. She licked her lips. "Kiss me, Quil."

And he did.

She didn't know how he had waited that long, because his desperate need came through in that kiss. He wanted her so badly. His hands ran all over her body, cupping her breasts and pulling her up against him.

She put one arm around his hips and slid her hand down to his firm ass. Her other arm went around his neck. She clung to him. He had one hand locked onto the back of head; she could not have pulled away if she wanted to. His tongue was plundering her mouth. He was so hot. His other hand was branding his hand print low in the centre of her back. That hand pulled her in hard against him and she could feel the hot hardness of him pressed up between them. He did some kind of movement with his hips; she could feel his ass move under her hand as he ground his lower body into her. He did a kind of circular movement against her. She moaned into his mouth.

He held her harder against him and moved somehow lifting her whole weight in just his arms. He turned and lowered her slowly until her head hit the mattress at the head of the bed. Her body arched up against him as he withdrew a little.

"Quil…" she begged.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised her.

He was kissing down her neck, making his way inexorably to her breasts. They felt hot and heavy to her. His big hands held her around the ribs and he kissed first one breast and then the other. She could hear herself making small noises. Then he tweaked and pinched one nipple in his fingers while he kissed and suckled at the other. They were a little sensitive with the pregnancy and she made a small pain noise that caused him to lift his head and ask her, "You okay, B?"

"Yes… they are just… a little sore…"

"Sorry, didn't think of that," he apologised. "Anything else I should know?"

"No… if I think of anything… I'll tell … eep." She emitted a breathless squeak noise. He had moved his heated mouth a little further down while she was answering him. "Oh… Qui-il…" she squeaked. That hot tongue was plundering other places now. He licked and worked at her; holding her thighs open with his hands when she tried to close her legs around her head.

He lifted his head and looked up the length of her body. With his eyes glued on her face, he sank two fingers inside her. She jolted and emitted another squeak noise. She sounded genuinely surprised. He stroked her and watched her eyes almost roll up into her head. He lowered his face to her again and licked her; he rolled that hard little nub under his tongue. He let go of her thighs and she slammed them shut over his ears. He could still hear her as she groaned. He listened to her breathing. When she got to the stage of quick little pants, he kept up the slow licking pace and then he felt her body tense up and she jolted. He was waiting for that.

He curled the two fingers within her, and sucked that hard little bunch of nerves into his mouth. His lips sealed around her. She made a kind of a wailing noise and her thighs tried to reshape his head. He let them, like she could hurt him.

When her shudders had reduced to whole body twitches, he slid the fingers out of her now saturated opening. He couldn't resist another few licks. She tasted so much better now she was all creamy.

He wiped his face on her, as he kissed his way back up her body. He held himself supported over her on his arms. She looked dazed, her mouth was hanging open and she was panting quietly.

"B?" he was suddenly concerned.

"Oh god… oh … my… god…" She managed to say. Her voice sounded hoarse, as if she had been screaming.

He lifted an eyebrow. "B? You okay?"

She blinked and looked like she was trying to focus on him. "That… was… a-fucking-mazing…"

"Isabella Swan," he chastised. "You swear now?"

'This is your fault," she told him. "You are such a bad influence."

He chuckled and gave her an evil smirk. "That was just a starter B. You haven't got to the main course yet." She actually groaned at that.

At that sound, he suddenly lost whatever patience he had shown so far. "Come on girl, let me in, B," he said in a low, hoarse voice. She lifted a leg and put her foot over the back of his calf. "Atta girl," he encouraged. One hand reached down, guiding him as he pulled his hips back a little and then slid into her smoothly. She lifted off the mattress as she arched and grabbed at him. "Shh…shhh…" he comforted her.

He pulled out a little, very slowly and then thrust into her again faster. He repeated it, each time he worked his way a little further into her. He couldn't kiss her with the height difference so he talked to her instead.

"Yes… that's it… like that…" he whispered to her. "Your tiny… little white… hands all… over me… remember?"

She moaned. He took that as a 'yes'.

"So pale… so soft… ungh…" He was buried inside her now. They both stopped moving at some kind of unspoken signal.

Bella just stared at him as he hovered above her.

She found her own voice. "So… strong… so hot… so beautiful," she told him.

"Beautiful?" he queried with a small thrust.

"Oh yeah…" Her eyes closed as if she was unable to keep them open. "Beautiful…" Her little white hands traced over his pecs and his muscled shoulders.

He grinned at her. "Love ya B."

"Yes," she agreed. "Me too," she said.

He shook his head at that. Her hand had reached up to his face and he kissed her fingers before pulling back and making a long, hard stroke into her. "Hang on, B," he whispered to her.

She did.

He kept up the pace of long, slow strokes until she was almost begging him to finish. He was hanging onto the headboard with one hand. She could hear it emit a squeak of its own under the pressure. Her legs were around his hips and her ankles were locked around each other behind his back. Her hands were locked behind his neck.

He was staring intently into her eyes as if he expected something to happen. Eventually when she could no longer keep her eyes open, he finished it with a final thrust that pushed her hard into the mattress. He kept pressing into her as his back arched and he emitted a long, growling noise and he let himself finish. She could feel his hot climax as it pumped inside her.

"Oh… yes…" she moaned. Her hands collapsed onto the bed. She didn't even have the strength to hang onto him any more.

He pulled her up against him; shuffling their bodies down the bed a little on their sides. He sat up and grabbed the top sheet, flicking it over them both. He tucked her face in under his chin, wrapped his arms around her and promptly fell asleep.

"Not much for chat huh?" she said.

She lay there, listening to his heart pound in his chest. Her small white hands still stroking his flawless russet skin. She wriggled a little, lifted a thigh over him and fell asleep herself.

FF_2154210_ - 22/05/2011 02:03:00 PM


	23. Teen mom

**Chapter 23 Teen mom**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella woke up when she felt a damp coldness, under her. For a second she didn't know what it was and then she realised she was in the famous wet spot. She had heard about this. She supposed all that fluid had to get back out again, sometime.

She got up to go the bathroom. She put on his t-shirt from that day to cover her just in case. It was like a dress on her. When she got back, Quil was awake. His eyes followed her as she came into his room. He was still lying on his side with the sheet covering him from the hips down. He was leaning on one elbow with his head supported in his hand.

"The bathroom is next on the cleaning list," Bella announced. "I mean all I can say is… ewww."

He grinned.

"I wanted to ask… how did they clean you up for the hearing?"

"Hosed me down in the yard."

"Ha! I thought as much. Who cut your hair?"

"Jared brought the clippers. A lot of reservation kids have home done haircuts… cheaper," he explained.

"He's not bad at it," she conceded.

"Are you going to give haircuts too?" he asked.

She frowned. "For you?" she checked.

"And…" he nodded at her stomach.

"Oh." She stood there unmoving. She hadn't actually thought about their future life; the reality of it. Haircuts and so on. Real life.

"B?" He almost rolled his eyes. She was thinking again. He thought he might know how to snap her out of that. "Pssst," he hissed at her. She glanced at him and he flicked the sheet open.

Her jaw dropped.

"Come back to bed," he encouraged. "And stop panicking."

"I'm not…"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes… well… there are just a few things… I haven't really thought about…"

"B-ell-a," he crooned at her, using her name for a change.

"Fine…" she huffed as she approached the bed. "Although I'm not sleeping in the wet spot this time," she told him.

"Whatever you want…" he agreed. "Just come here. You can be on top this time," he suggested.

888888888888888

By the time he let her out of the bed, Bella thought she might have trouble walking, or sitting down for a while. Quil assured her he could fix that by carrying her everywhere. She dressed in his t-shirt again, he slipped on the cut-offs. He carried her to the kitchen to start. He said he hadn't been shopping for ages but they might be able to find something to eat.

She yawned. "What time is it?"

"No idea," he answered. "Yay. Food!" he uttered before they had got to the kitchen. Werewolf sense of smell.

He sat her on the counter and opened the fridge hopefully. "Yes! Someone has been a good little pixie."

"I didn't hear anything," Bella said.

"Me either," he grinned at her. "But no wonder eh?"

"Maybe they came when we were asleep," suggested Bella artfully.

"It must be Emily's doing. She's the only one who would think about feeding us."

"I dunno," said Bella. "Your mother is pretty intent on getting her vision grandchildren."

Quil snorted. "Yeah that's valid. It's probably more likely to be mum. Besides, she knows we are here… borrowed the sheets remember?"

"Lord, how could I forget," sighed Bella.

"I could run over and get another set," he offered with a mischievous grin, before he put his head inside the fridge

"Omigod… no!" She looked genuinely horrified.

When he pulled his head out he had a Tupperware container of sandwiches in his hand, one of which was already stuffed in his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully. "Mum… definitely Mum."

"Give," commanded Bella with a hand wave. He handed her the box and dusted his hands on his shorts.

"Drink?"

"What have you got?"

Quil dipped another hand in the sandwich box, before looking in the fridge again.

"Iced tea… Go Mum." He pulled out a jug and placed it on the counter. He found a couple of glasses and rinsed them under the tap. Bella poured and put the jug back down on the counter.

Quil kissed her on the cheek. She turned her face towards him and they kept kissing. He shifted his body to stand between her legs and she opened her knees and hugged him in close to her. They were both seriously distracted until Bella's stomach growled.

She snorted. "Sorry, you ate two sandwiches already…"

"I am a bad father," he quipped. "Starving the poor woman who is carrying my child."

Bella beamed at him. "Yeah." She smiled. "Yeah I am."

"We have some stuff to decide, you know."

"I know. Charlie first." She helped herself to a sandwich.

"Shit… You don't think he would shoot me?"

"Holy Crow, he might. But you'd be okay right?"

"B," he whined. "I don't want to get shot. That would _really_ hurt."

She laughed at him. "He won't shoot you… at least I think he won't… he just might threaten to. And when he does that whole gun cleaning, thing… just ignore him."

"Gun cleaning?" He made a small noise. "Pfft, he couldn't have just come to the hearing? Learnt about it when everyone else did. I suppose he doesn't know about the pack. It would have been pretty hard to have that meeting without mentioning that."

"That's a point! If he and Sue get serious, he will **have **to be told about the pack. You can't live with Seth and Leah and not notice. Even my father can't manage that. He pretends to be unobservant but he's no fool."

"That will be up to the council, I guess. But you're right; he couldn't miss picking something up. Besides," he waved the sandwich box at her. "He'll notice the grocery bills."

Bella was kicking her feet happily and munching on sandwiches. Quil watched her with a possessive pride. His baby.

She looked up to catch his eye. "What?"

"Just lookin'."

She smiled at him. "Yeah," she said. "Me too."

They finished the drinks and all the sandwiches.

"Quil," Bella sounded persuasive. "If we clean the bathroom, we can have a shower or bath together."

"Ohhh… yeah." He almost drooled. "You're on."

8888888888

Bella was thinking that someone should have bottled werewolf elbow grease; it was hugely impressive. Quil had made her stay outside, after muttering something about chemicals and babies. She was inclined to argue with him, but she thought it was adorable so she let him scrub away by himself. She **was** feeling a little weary and she had vertigo problems if she stood up too quickly. So she sat in the hallway and read to him from 'Wuthering heights.' She always had a book in her bag.

He seemed to be listening and he was making fast work of the bathroom.

It was just plain white tiles; practical and cheap like a lot of things had to be on the reservation. The apartment was only one bedroom. They could live here for a while but not for long after the baby arrived. And they would need more space eventually.

A house of their own.

She was lost in thoughts of the future when he stroked her cheek. He was crouched in front of her and she hadn't even seen him.

"Where were you?"

"The future."

"Sometimes I think you think too much."

She could hear the water running.

"Just drawing your bath madam," he quipped.

"My bath?" she queried.

He got the strangest look on his face. "I don't fit in that bath very easily," he confessed.

"Holy crow, Quil. I'd never thought about that." She was silent for a beat. "I was just thinking about a future house. I guess we will need to plan some big bath or one of those hot tub things… no wait… that will never work with your body temperature."

He chuckled, scooped her up off the floor and carried her into the bathroom. "At the temperature we'd have it set on, it would be a lobster boil for anyone else anyway."

"What? Why?"

"108.9 B. Hot showers are a thing of the past."

"Ewww, that's awful. I never thought about it before."

"Uh-huh," he pulled the t-shirt over her head.

She was still talking, "I mean I know you guys are hot and all that but I never thought about all the sweating and…"

"B," he interrupted.

"Quil?"

"Shush. Can't be changed now and we have other cool advantages that balance all the negatives out."

"Oh, I suppose so."

"Now, into your bath."

"Can you stay?"

"Sure, sure. I'll sit right here."

She clambered in. She did a little dance and stood one on leg; it was pretty warm. But once she was used to it, she sunk under the water with a heartfelt groan. "Oh that feels so good."

He sat with his knees up and his back to the wall watching her. He was smiling. He was thinking he hadn't smiled so much in ages.

"Talk to me Quil… tell me about the cool stuff."

"Sure B."

So he talked to her about how fast they could run; faster than a vampire. They could overtake flying birds. How their sense of smell was so acute they could smell a days old trail. They knew how many people had used it and what sex and sometimes what age they were. If they knew them, they could recognise their scents. They could smell something within a 2 mile radius.

Their sense of hearing was their best strength. They could hear up to six miles in the forest and ten miles in the open. Plus they could hear a greater range of sounds; up to 80 kHz; humans topped out at 20. [AN: All actually standard wolf stats, if you can believe it…]

"Seriously? That's amazing," Bella said.

"And our sense of smell adds to the taste of things."

"I can imagine."

"When I first phased… it was just like a complete sensory overload… just too much information… you know."

"Were you pleased? To phase?"

"Ecstatic." He sat up suddenly. "I'd forgotten about that. You picked me up that day."

"I gave you a lift here. You got lost chasing Embry and Jake through the forest and I found you at the side of the road. You were pretty upset that day," she reminded him.

"I was sure I had lost my friends."

"Yeah me too. Jake had joined Sam's cult. Well at least that is what I thought," Bella remembered.

He emitted a bitter laugh. "How stupid was I to think I could have caught up to them. Jesus."

"Quil that was like, five months ago. It was mid March wasn't it?"

"Yeah and its August now."

"Look at everything that has happened to us in mere months. I can't believe I only graduated in June."

He got another odd look on his face. She sat up in the bath. "You haven't finished school have you? Oh Holy Crow I'm bonking a high school boy. Ohmigod and we are having a baby together." She paused and then she wailed, "I am one of those awful television teen mothers!"

"Yeesh B, calm down."

"Just how old are you anyway?" she asked her voice rising.

"It doesn't matter; how old I am… it matters how old I look," he tried to placate her.

"Oh my God… You're Jake's age," she realised. "That makes **you 16!**"

"So you're not breaking any laws," he comforted her.

"**WHAT? **You can't even do anything without your mother's permission."

He frowned. "I can do lots of things without my mother's permission… honestly Bella, you're panicking… again!"

She noticed the use of her full name. That actually calmed her down, he always called her B. She sunk down into the bath water and tried to get a hold of herself.

Quil stalked out of the bathroom, she sat up hurriedly; worried he was leaving.

"Towels," he grunted at her.

**[AN: I know I have written about the age thing before – but personally I think it would be a huge issue to suddenly realise the 'man' you are with is almost legally a 'child'.]**

FF_2154210_ - 23/05/2011 04:34:00 AM


	24. Me three

**Chapter 24 Me three**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella had to fix this. She had never thought about how old he was; it had never been an issue for her, so why was she so upset about it now? She supposed she had dealt with his physical age. He looked closer to twenty five. She had actually never stopped to think about his real age. He certainly didn't act it, so why did it matter?

She tried to look suitably apologetic when he came back with a clean towel for her. It was hanging over his shoulder.

"Can you help me get out? I have balance issues," she said in a very small voice, holding her hand up to him. He just scooped her up out of the bath; water running off her body and placed her on her feet. She clutched at his arms.

"Quil?"

Silence. But he didn't leave her. He pulled the towel off his shoulder and wrapped it around her body.

"I'm sorry," she tried to apologise. She tried to squeeze his bicep but it just didn't move. "I just like to be kind of prepared and I tend to panic about stuff…"

He looked down at her.

"I want you to finish high school. It's important. Important for your future. I don't want you to drop out because of me or the baby."

"Uh huh." He still didn't sound happy, but at least he was talking to her again.

"We will need an income, Quil. I can work… but not all the time… especially if I am having a baby… it will be hard to get a job now and then I will have to have time off to actually have the baby… I can't get a job with maternity leave now… so you will have to work… so we can pay our bills…"

"_Our_ bills?"

"Well, yes…" she looked confused. "Of course they will be our bills…"

"You mean you will be living with me?" he asked. His face looked so eager.

"Well… where else would I be?" She was genuinely confused; another option had not even occurred to her.

He kissed her. And then he towelled her dry, carried her back to the bed and laid her in the centre of it. He emptied the bath, turned all the lights off and crawled into bed with her and cuddled her.

"Tell me what I did wrong? Please tell me how I upset you?" she asked.

"I thought you didn't want me involved… that I was too young to be a father."

"I want you involved but you have other things you need to do as well. You can finish your high school diploma on-line; if that would work better … you haven't attended school for weeks anyway."

"Yeah, I missed a bit lately." He sounded guilty.

"I **will **need your help Quil."

"Do you want to live here? With me? In the apartment?"

"Yes, please and I already assumed that, but only for a little while. There's only one bedroom," she pointed out.

"She has to be born on the Reservation to be Quileute," he said.

That made her feel warm inside, that he already thought of the baby as a 'her'.

"Then we will definitely do that. It's important. I apologise for my panic attack." She stroked his chest and nestled in against his warmth. "I deferred college, so I have some time too."

There was silence for a little while.

"What's the unemployment rate on the reservation?" she asked. Clearly her thoughts had moved off to another area.

"It's high… maybe 50%... but they look after the pack… we get a small payment…"

"Like a stipend?"

"Yeah something like that. They'll help out if we need it. Because of what we do."

"Money will be tight."

He made a kind of shrug movement. "Like everyone here B. Mum's alright because she has the shop. Maybe you could work there for a while."

"Moneys not important to me, you know that? Right?"

"So you just want me for my body and my looks then," he asked mischievously.

She giggled.

* * *

><p>"Mum?" Bella had thought it might be a good idea to speak to her mother before she approached Charlie. She rang her from her mobile at Quil's place. He stood near her and she knew he would hear the whole conversation. She gave him a tremulous smile and reached out for him to hold her hand. He squeezed it a little to encourage her.<p>

"Baby? I haven't heard from you for ages… just those awful emails you send me that tell me nothing…" she whined.

"I'm okay now Mum. I know you and Charlie were really worried about me."

"Oh honey. I am glad to hear that. We were both **so** concerned." She sounded suddenly nervous, "Are you talking to Jake again?"

"Yes, we have sorted all of that out… but mum… there's someone else… that's kind of what Jake was upset about."

"Ooohhh tell me all about him…" Her mother loved this kind of talk. "Tell me everything…"

"His name is Quil Ateara. He's Quileute and …we are kind of serious…"

Quil rolled his eyes.

"Now, Bella," Renee interrupted. "You know how I feel about that…"

"I know mum but I had …" she breathed deeply. "I had a vision…"

"Really?" Renee sounded overjoyed. Billy was right; she loved the crystally stuff. "Tell me…" she begged. "What did you see?"

"We were together, Quil and I and it looked like we lived near the forest and we had kids, mum, three of them… well at least two were in the vision and I was pregnant…" She described the whole vision to her. She cheated a little by definitely putting Quil in it, but that was what she hoped for.

Her mother was unnaturally silent.

"Mum?"

"This is…. It's so wonderful… a vision," she breathed.

"Yeah well, we kind of got started on that stuff a little more quickly than I would have planned…." She took another deep breath. Quil rubbed her shoulders. "I'm pregnant mum, seven weeks, I think."

"Bella? You're only eighteen."

"I know… but the alternatives are just not for me. I haven't even told Charlie yet…"

"Well no wonder you were unwell…"

"Huh," said Bella. She hadn't actually thought that there might be a real, physical cause to help explain her exhaustion and depression.

And then she said something she had barely admitted to herself. "I want to make that vision come true, mum. You know me… I'm not into this stuff at all… but it was so… real."

There was silence. She could hear her mother breathing.

"The first child… It was a girl mum. A little girl."

"Oh…"

Bella thought her mum might be crying. She looked at Quil and raised her eyebrows in a question.

"She's crying," he whispered.

"Don't cry, mum. She was beautiful. With her russet skin and her brown hair and you know what it looks like when you don't cut the baby hair and its straight but then curls up at the bottom… mum? I want to meet her." She almost whispered the last part.

"Me too," Renee whispered back.

Quil grinned and mouthed, 'me three' at her.

Bella sighed. "But I don't know how to tell Charlie. I'm eighteen and Quil has a place to live… but…"

"He'll be angry and upset, but only because he is worried about you… you know that. He will bluster and yell but in the end, he doesn't want to lose you." She was so glad she had finally found the strength to talk to her mother; she would be a powerful ally if it came to an argument with Charlie.

"I guess he will kind of lose me… I want to live with Quil … but it's only out at La Push… so I'm not too far away… just fifteen miles and he is out here all the time to visit Billy."

Quil puffed up; he looked ecstatic at her actually telling someone else she wanted to live with him. She couldn't back out and panic now.

"Gosh, I forgot to tell you…" Renee added. "Phil got signed with the Sun's… we are moving to Florida. So I'll be _even_ further away than Arizona."

Quil lifted his eyebrows. 'Disneyworld,' he mouthed and pumped the air.

Bella rolled her eyes; he was such a teenage boy. "He couldn't manage Hawaii?" she joked.

Renee laughed. They made some other small chatter before hanging up. Renee wanted to see some photos of Quil. He was thrilled by that request and started to do all sorts of muscle poses around the house.

"What about like this?"

"No."

"Like this?"

"No and get some clothes on."

Bella refused to take any shots of him like that. She laughed at him. "We'll ask Seth to take a shot of us both… together… and dressed… when we go to talk to Charlie … he'll probably be at Sue's tonight."

"Call Sue… she'll be supportive," suggested Quil. "She can get Charlie in a good mood."

"Good idea… she might even invite us for dinner," said Bella.

"Ooh dinner."

FF_2154210_ - 24/05/2011 01:58:00 PM


	25. Dinner with dad

**Chapter 25 Dinner with dad**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Bella was as nervous as a cat. She had called Sue to get her input. Sue had invited them both to dinner. She suggested Bella talk to her father before dinner, during the game and kept him well supplied with vitamin R (Rainer beer). She would make sure his gun was locked up. She said if he was at her house, he would be calmer and with people around Quil might not get shot. Charlie had never even **met** him and now she had to tell him Quil had got her pregnant and they wanted to live together. Yeesh.

Sue added that she would speak to Leah and Seth and ask them to play it low key; so that they appeared to be surprised by the news of her pregnancy. Charlie might be upset if he thought the whole reservation knew before he did. Evidently someone at the council meeting had blabbed and it was the latest nine day wonder at La Push. So she had to tell him tonight; it was only a matter of time before someone spoke to Charlie, or congratulated him and blew it wide open. In a way, it was a good thing; she couldn't delay.

Seth took the shots of them together to send to Renee.

Bella sidled into the living room and studied her father as he watched the game. He had a tendency to lean off to the side in the direction the ball was travelling. She had always thought it was so cute.

"Dad? Can I talk to you?" Bella started. It seemed like days since she had seen him last; was it before the hearing? She couldn't remember.

"Sure Bells," he said as he accepted her peace offering of a can of beer.

And then she couldn't talk. She perched nervously on the edge of the arm chair. Charlie glanced at her.

"Jake's back," Charlie said. "You sorted it out?" He was watching the game, not her.

"Yes, it's all fixed now…"

The three wolves were in the kitchen. Even with the door shut and the television on, they had no trouble over-hearing. Sue prepared dinner and asked them for pertinent updates and warnings.

"I've got someone you need to meet, but I need to tell you something first," Bella continued.

Something about her tone warned him and he actually muted the game and gave her his full attention. She inhaled deeply.

"I-I…" she sighed.

"Spit it out Bells," he advised. He didn't sound happy.

"There's someone new … that I have kind of got involved with…" she tried. It sounded awful.

"Really? That was quick."

"Yes, it was I suppose… and serious," she added. "That's why Jake and I argued."

"Serious?" he repeated. "How serious?"

"Very."

"Really? I haven't met him yet. It can't be_ that_ serious…"

"I know you haven't met him … and that is my fault…" She huffed out a breath. "I've mishandled a lot of things about this whole thing… but I think he's the one."

"The One?" repeated Charlie. He took a big gulp of his beer.

Bella held her breath.

"You're eighteen," he pointed out.

"Yes."

"Too young to get married…" he suggested.

"Well…" She fiddled with her hands.

"Isabella Marie Swan! What are you trying to say?" he demanded.

"We are going to have a baby," she blurted out.

Charlie went pale and drank the rest of his beer.

"Need more beer," suggested Seth in the kitchen. Leah snorted.

"A-a b-baby…"

"Yes, I haven't been to the doctor yet but the test is positive."

"And you want to keep it?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

Quil twitched nervously in the kitchen. Sue passed him a cold can of beer.

Charlie's eyes narrowed. "Does your mother know about this?"

"Yes, I phoned her just before we came over." She didn't want Charlie to think she was playing favourites with her parents.

"We?"

Holy Crow, she had nearly made a mistake there. "Quil's here if you would like to meet him," she suggested.

"That I would," he said slowly. He rose to his feet. He patted at his body, where his gun usually was and then frowned. Bloody woman took it. His frown deepened. Sue had to have known about this. She had made him lock his gun in the patrol car in the gun safe. He would have words with her later.

"I'll get him," Bella said and then scuttled nervously towards the kitchen. Charlie stood and watched her go.

"That's your cue," Seth said to Quil. Sue pushed him a little after giving him a fortifying smile.

Quil opened the door before Bella got there. For once he was wearing proper jeans and a tucked in t-shirt. It was an old one and it stretched tightly across his chest. The sleeves looked like they were cutting off the circulation in his arms. The jeans were borrowed from Sam. Quil had not worn long trousers for a very long time and none of his old pairs had a hope of fitting him now. He had a can of beer in his hand. Bella grabbed at his arm and tugged him towards her father.

Charlie's eyebrows rose as he checked out his daughter's new man. Jeez they grew them big up here. Must be the salmon diet. Charlie was 6ft tall but this guy had to be the biggest man he had seen in a long time. He was taller than Charlie; maybe 6ft 3 but damn, he was wide. Bella looked tiny next to him.

Charlie frowned as he thought about how old this guy was; he looked twenty five.

"Quil Ateara… pleased to meet you sir." He held out his massive hand formally.

Charlie shook the offered hand. "Charlie Swan," he replied. He knew better than to try to crush his hand in some kind of manly battle he would never win.

"So you're an Ateara?"

"Yes, sir."

"Old Quil?"

"My grandfather." He suddenly remembered the beer can in his hand and he passed it to Charlie. Then he wiped his hand nervously on his jeans.

"Thanks," Charlie grunted. "So how did you two meet?"

Quil glanced at Bella. "I'm a friend of Jake's."

"Really?" Charlie did some recalculating on his age. He frowned again. He knew Jake was 16 and he didn't look it either.

"Interrupt, now," ordered Seth. "Quick mum."

Sue opened the kitchen door. "Dinner will be five minutes," she called out.

"Thanks Sue," Bella said.

"Sue?" called Charlie.

She walked over to him.

"You know Quil I assume." He waved a hand at him.

"Yes, I do. His mother owns the shop," Sue stated.

Bella breathed again. Good idea, Sue; pointing out he had some security in his life.

"I invited him for dinner so we can all get to know each other," Sue added. She patted Charlie's hand. "I'll just serve it all up." She winked at Bella and headed back to the kitchen.

"Hmmm," said Charlie thoughtfully as he watched her go. Definitely going to be having words later.

"Dad, Quil has his own place and we would like to try living together before the baby arrives." Bella thought she might as well get it all out while he seemed relatively calm.

Charlie opened the new beer. His hand shook a little. Bella and Quil exchanged another glance.

"Living together," Charlie muttered.

"You can ask Billy to vouch for Quil if you want to…I am sure he would give him a reference."

"A reference? He's not applying for a **job**… he's got my daughter pregnant," huffed Charlie.

"Well that was kind of my fault," Bella said.

Charlie raised an eyebrow and took another swig of his beer.

"I… I wouldn't let him say 'no'," Bella admitted.

Quil got a very odd look on his face; he looked almost sheepish and Charlie looked gobsmacked.

"NOW mum," ordered Seth again.

"Dinner!" announced Sue with perfect timing.

Charlie regained the power of speech. "We'll talk later," he threatened Quil.

"Oh I hope so, sir." He didn't look at all worried by Charlie now, but more eager.

Bella looked nervous at that. But Quil wouldn't say anything more.

88888888888888

Dinner was interesting. Charlie was so distracted by how much Seth, Quil and Leah ate that he forgot whatever else he wanted to say. Sue chattered on inanely; very unlike her. Bella just moved her food around on her plate.

Quil groused on her at one stage and told her she had to eat properly now and look after herself better. She opened her mouth, but didn't argue with him and meekly started to eat her dinner. Charlie looked surprised by that. Then Quil told her they had an appointment with the tribal medic tomorrow morning to have a check up. Make sure everything was okay with the baby. Everyone else pretended to be pleasantly surprised by their news.

Charlie gave Quil a more appraising glance at that.

Charlie remained polite and watched Quil and Bella like a hawk for the rest of the dinner. Leah was killing herself. Seth was trying to look innocent. Bella was exhausted. She kept yawning.

She and Quil excused themselves. She hugged Charlie hard and he told her he would talk to her later.

She promised to be at the house after the check up tomorrow.

Charlie remembered when he and Sue were alone, what he had wanted to ask about this Quil guy. How old he was. Sue blustered for a while but in the end admitted he was sixteen but she was sure he had a birthday coming up soon. His age was a matter of public record. Charlie could look it up if he really wanted to know and there was no point in her lying to him.

Charlie almost had a coronary.

"Sixteen? Jeez," he muttered. "Nearly gotta arrest my own daughter."

FF_2154210_ - 25/05/2011 03:30:00 AM


	26. Moving house

**Chapter 26 Moving house**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

The check-up went well; everything was progressing normally. No ectopic pregnancy concerns or anything like that. Bella now had an ultrasound photo for Charlie too. Quil put his proudly on the fridge.

She also had vitamins and a schedule of check ups. The tribal medic wanted to keep a very close eye on her as this was the first pack baby. It would be a learning experience for them all. He warned her she might notice an increase in body temperature or some other werewolf side effects; increased sense of smell perhaps.

She assured him the worse thing she had to deal with was the twitchy werewolf himself. He had got even more protective of her. She left him after the check up to go home and pack up some stuff and do some final things to curry favour with Charlie.

She left most of her teenage girl stuff behind. She felt like she had changed so much in recent months. She looked at some of the stuff the Cullens had given her and left it all behind too. Quil would never cope with the smell. That was history anyway. Ancient history. She packed up her old computer too; it was slow, but better than nothing and she could email Renee.

Bella had his dinner cooked for him when Charlie got home. They had quite a debate about Quil's age. Bella was not beyond threatening that she was eighteen and he couldn't stop her moving out and Quil certainly didn't look sixteen. Charlie had to admit that was true.

Bella ended up admitting to her dad that she was just as weirded out by that too. She told him that she had insisted that he finish High School and just the fact that she had to argue that, made her feel odd. She told Charlie he did some security work for the rez and got paid a small salary. Things would be tight for a while. Charlie laughed and said he and Renee were exactly the same when they got married. He got wistful and said that when Renee had left with her as a baby; he couldn't follow because both his parents were ill. They had both died within the year. And by then… things weren't fixable with Renee. Bella had never known that. She had always thought Charlie chose the job over them. [AN: SM personal correspondence for Charlie's back story from twilight lexicon]

In the end after much hugging, Charlie confessed he would just miss her. Bella pointed out he was moving on with his own life with Sue and she couldn't be happier. And Sue was at La Push and she would be at La Push too. She wasn't going back to living with Renee. She would be close. It was only fifteen miles away. But she knew he meant that he would miss actually living with her. She wondered if it would accelerate his relationship with Sue. The discovery that he now liked living with someone else; he had spent so many years alone before she made the decision to move to Forks.

They packed some boxes together. Charlie insisted on carrying them down to her truck. She didn't have that much stuff. She had only been in the house for two years after all. He told her, her room would always be here for her if she needed it. He silently handed her the mangled copy of Pride and Prejudice he had rescued out of the trash and she nearly cried. She smoothed out the cover and blinked furiously before putting it in an open box.

Charlie insisted on going out with her to see Quil's apartment. Bella texted him a warning but she probably needn't have bothered; the place shone. More of that werewolf elbow grease. He must have been cleaning for the whole day. She was very proud of him.

Quil came running out to meet her when the truck pulled up. He wasn't dressed up now and was in his usual attire of cut-offs and nothing else. Charlie nearly had another coronary and muttered something under his breath. Quil told Bella later that Charlie had thought he could take on the Rock and it was a pity he didn't do wrestling. They laughed together at that one.

Charlie came inside and had a good look around. Quil was filing her books on an empty bookshelf he had gotten from somewhere. Bella made Charlie a cup of coffee and they sat in their usual companionable silence and drank it. They didn't need to speak.

Bella made sure everyone had each others contact numbers, just in case.

She hugged Charlie good night, Quil shook his hand and she and Quil walked him out to the front and watched him drive away.

Quil insisted on carrying her back into the house, over the threshold.

They settled into a routine. The pack filled their lives with things to do and people to see. Bella helped Rowana in the shop. She gained weight gradually. At one of her checkups she ran into Emily. Seemed the second pack baby was on the way too. They hugged each other and promised to be closer.

She filled tins with home baked cookies for Embry and Seth to thank them both for snapping her out of her funk and helping Jake. Jake complained that she had thanked them enough and where were his cookies? She assured him that there were always cookies at their apartment. And pies, if he wanted pies.

She avoided morning sickness until week twelve; and** then **she started throwing up all day. Maybe it was in compensation for starting at a time when most other people had finished with so called 'morning sickness'.

Quil worked hard at his school work.

Vampires were pretty rare after the battle. So the pack was having a well earned break. Jake kept up patrols on alternate evenings mostly because they all went stir crazy if they didn't get out and run. They could pick up a scent if there was anything around.

Jake and Bella were close once more and that made them both happy again.

Quil and Bella were almost inseparable. He watched over her constantly; worrying about her klutziness and the baby.

They were more than compatible in bed, as she had told Billy all those months ago. All he needed to do was take his clothes off and Bella was up for it. He would catch her watching him sometimes and just grin at her.

Her morning sickness abated and she got really horny in the middle months. Quil took terrible advantage of her and she loved every minute of it. They had to get pretty inventive with positions to accommodate her growing tummy.

Quil's seventeenth birthday was an excuse for a pack barbecue. Emily and Bella baked up a storm beforehand so that on the night, they could put their feet up. Emily always ran the barbecues with as much authority as Sam had run the pack itself. No one realised quite how well she did it until she took a break. There were some near misses but once they got Leah out of the kitchen, things got better.

After eating themselves stupid the pack lay around and told embarrassing Quil stories; not that he cared. He seemed un-embarassable. Bella laughed so hard, her belly hurt.

Quil carried her home and she was reminded of his run to the cave; where all this had started.

All the gifts from friends and family were things for their home. He made Bella promise not to buy him anything; said they couldn't afford it right now. He knew what he wanted for his birthday and he could wait.

FF_2154210_ - 26/05/2011 01:15:00 AM


	27. After his 17th birthday

**Chapter 27 After his 17th birthday**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

Unbeknownst to Bella, Quil made a trip into Forks on her motor bike. Jake had brought it over for them when they started living together, and it had become Quil's bike. Jake had kept the Harley Sprint as was their deal, when he first repaired the bikes for her.

Quil popped into the police station and spent almost fifteen minutes in Charlie's office. All the other staff watched him leave and watched Charlie shake his head and go back into his office. There was much speculation as to what he wanted.

Charlie had never admitted that Quil was his daughter's live in boyfriend; at least not to his staff. His pregnant daughter. But they all knew anyway. Small town.

Then Quil popped in to visit Embry and his final visit was to his mother. He radiated smugness when he had done all his little excursions. He went for a run after school too; told Bella that he needed to burn off some energy.

The Sunday night after his birthday, he literally scooped Bella up and said they were going now.

"Going where?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's a surprise," he answered as he went round the apartment turning off lights and appliances. She was still amazed that he could hold her whole weight in one hand. She noticed that there was a largish backpack leaning against the wall at the back door.

"What are you up to Quil Ateara?" she asked, but he just grinned at her and refused to answer.

"Ready?" he asked.

"I just need to go to the bathroom."

"Again?"

"Hey, it's not **my** fault if your daughter dances on my bladder… I swear she pummels it with her little feet. Wait until she turns around and then she might actually punch it."

He put her down and waited outside the door and scooped her up again when she came out.

"Are you really going to carry me everywhere today?"

"Told you I would."

He loped easily across the road and into the forest. Bella was lost within minutes, but Quil just loped along. It was late afternoon and the sun would be setting soon.

"Quil, are we going to be home before dark?" she quizzed him.

"No."

"Have you got a phone for emergencies?"

"Yes."

"Fine," she huffed. "Stick to your one word answers."

"One day you when you are not pregnant, you should go for a wolf ride," he stated.

"Ride you?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. I've never thought about that before."

"I'd offer now but…"

"…you worry," she finished for him.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"You'd never hurt us Quil."

"It would be accidental… a branch… a fall… I'd never forgive myself."

"True… another day then."

He continued running. "It all looks the same to me," she admitted. "I can't tell one bit of forest from another. Doesn't matter how many times I walk through the same places."

They were climbing up, higher up the mountains and into the cloud cover.

She fell silent when she started to suspect where he was going.

With a final burst of speed, he hit his target just as the sun started to set. Bella closed her eyes and when she opened them again, they were standing outside the entrance to the cave.

He kissed her forehead and started singing 'happy birthday to me'. She laughed.

He carried her inside. She could see nothing until he lit the Coleman lantern. He had clearly made a trip up here previously or someone else had. There was a picnic basket, candles, some camping mats and pillows.

"There's only one sleeping bag," she pointed out.

"Of course," he chuckled.

He put her down gently and hugged her.

"I suppose this means we are staying the night here," she commented.

"Of course. Mum packed a picnic and Embry delivered the food and he also made a door, so that I don't have to cause an avalanche again." He lifted across a flat woven construction of branches and ferns that neatly covered the opening.

"Neat! Lucky I went to the bathroom before we left the house."

"You'll go again in an hour anyway," he pointed out. The reality of living with a pregnant woman.

"So this is your birthday present?" she asked carefully.

"Kind of…" he wriggled his eyebrows at her.

"And there is… that…" she said.

"Of course… it's a return to the scene of the crime."

He lit the candles and turned the lamp off.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"I am, actually."

They ate the picnic; feeding each other. Quil sat with his back to the wall; his knees up and Bella leant her back against his chest between his legs. He kept one hand on her stomach pretty much permanently. He loved feeling the baby bump and wriggle. They didn't really chat; both busy with their thoughts.

"It's freaky that she can be alive in there," he eventually commented.

"Nature is terribly clever."

"Sure is."

She sat forward. "We need to put this away for later… for breakfast?"

"Sure, sure B."

When she sat back he had taken his shirt off and he felt so warm against her.

"Mmmm… are you dessert?" she asked.

"Yep… and you can have as many helpings as you want." He was kissing along her neck. Then he started to help her out of her clothes. He placed them on top of the back pack so they didn't get dirty.

He pulled the sleeping mat over close to the wall and got Bella to kneel on it. Then he slid in behind her. She could put her hands up on the cave wall for balance.

"This okay?" he asked solicitously.

"Perfect," she whispered to him.

His big arms wrapped around her and his fingers started to tweak, brush and tease her. His mouth and tongue working at her neck. She could feel him naked and eager brushing up against the back of her body.

"I love you Quil," she told him as she turned her face towards him for a kiss.

"Love you too," he told her. He slid his fingers into her as his tongue stroked into her mouth. She leaned back against his shoulder and let him carry her away. Her orgasm was familiar, but no less intensive for that familiarity. His arm brushed against the side of her rounded belly. He continued to stroke her and she pulled her mouth away from his.

"It's not _my_ birthday," she reminded him.

"This **is** what I want for my birthday," he said intensely. He pushed her body forward and she braced herself against the wall as he slid into her from behind. Her knees were hurting a little; there must be a pebble under the mat. She just shifted them apart a little further and hung on.

"Oh yes…" she moaned.

"You remember?" he asked.

"It was magic…" she moaned. "Always… is," she added.

He gave that pleased man chuckle. "Oh… yeah…" He grunted a little as he thrust into her.

She shivered as his hot breath gusted down her neck. His fingers were still working between her legs; stroking languorously, his other arm was paralleling hers and braced against the wall next to her hand. He kept lifting himself into her and she let out a guttural moan.

"That's it B… you take all of me…" he whispered to her.

"Yes… oh yes… Quil…"

She shuddered and clenched around him. He stayed inside her and lifted her again.

"B…" he grunted as he shuddered behind her; his breath came in hot pants now as he filled her.

Both their heads hung down and they panted together. Their arms still braced against the wall.

He held her with one arm and kissed her neck. Her stomach wriggled. She laughed. "Someone's not happy."

"I don't hear any complaining," he joked. He slid out of her and reached for the bag. "I brought clean up cloths this time."

"You've thought of everything." She was actually impressed by his thoughtfulness.

She cleaned herself up and by then, he had the sleeping bag out. He lay down and she curled up with her back against him. He wrapped her up in his arms again.

"B?"

"Mmm?" she was half asleep now.

"I'm seventeen now…"

"I know…" she interrupted.

"Are you happy, B?" he asked, seemingly randomly.

She tried to turn and look at him. "Quil?" she blinked at him. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter," he said.

"Really?" she sounded doubtful. She reached for his face and ran her fingers down his cheek. "Tell me…" She rolled over to give him her full attention.

"I had all these plans… I wasn't going to do it like this…" he blustered. "But I got nervous…"

"Quil you are starting to worry me. Do what?"

"Oh…I didn't mean to do that…"

"Quil… Holy Crow, just tell me…" She was starting to get a little concerned now.

"Do you want to marry me B?"

"What?"

"I've been thinking… and I spoke to your father…"

Bella looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"…And I can do it now I'm seventeen… with my mother's permission…" he grudgingly admitted. He still grated at the thought that she had told him weeks ago, that he couldn't do stuff without his mother's permission.

She hadn't answered him.

He peered into her face eagerly.

She lifted her other hand and now she had a palm on each of his cheeks.

She still hadn't answered him.

He kept talking, "So we could have a simple ceremony on the beach… something native American… Billy can do it… and then she will be an Ateara… you know… she'll have a dad… so many kids on the rez don't have a dad…"

"Oh Quil," she finally managed to say.

"B?"

"Of course, I will marry you… that would make me so happy…" And that was true, even if she had never thought about it before.

"Yes, Quil yes." She kissed him.

"I don't have a ring… we don't really do that stuff…"

"I don't care…"

And she kissed him again.

They talked long into the night about arrangements and traditions and what they wanted to do. Until Bella started yawning and Quil covered her up with the sleeping bag and let her sleep. He stroked her stomach and told the bump, "I love you too." Before falling asleep himself.

Bella woke up to go to the toilet and she woke him up to make love again. They managed a third time before they got hungry enough to eat their breakfast.

In the morning he carried her back to the apartment; they showered together, got their photo IDs and jumped in the truck for the trip to the Clallam county clerk's office in Port Angeles. No appointment was necessary and Rowana had already signed the permission form for Quil.

The county clerk looked askance at Quil's birth date but he had the form from his mother and his birth certificate. Bella assumed they were more concerned that he didn't look seventeen. They paid the fee; both signed the application forms and got their signatures witnessed by the woman in the office.

They left hand in hand and radiating happiness.

"We've got up to sixty days to get it all done," Quil stated.

FF_2154210_ - 27/05/2011 05:12:00 AM


	28. Marry me

**Chapter 28 Marry me**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**[AN: did a lot of research on NA weddings and couldn't find much for the Quileute so I have kind of mashed up bits from other tribes – but the veil with tokens is theirs]**

Billy was overjoyed to do the ceremony for them. Charlie was truly impressed by Quil asking his permission first. Rowana was just beyond excited. Renee just squeed. She hadn't approved of early marriage for herself, but was sure it was the right thing for Bella to do. Yet another example of the inconsistency that was her mother.

It took them three weeks to organize it all and mostly that was just waiting for Renee to fly in from Florida. The reservation was truly laid back about functions. No one had any idea how many people would attend but it would all be handled. People weren't good with RSVP'ing and no one seemed to care.

Some Quileute did a western style wedding with the white dress and the bridesmaids, but it just wasn't Bella's style. She could have cared less about vellum invitations and hand lettered envelopes. They didn't even do any invitations; word got around. She wanted it to be traditional. Quil thought that was funny given she wasn't Quileute at all but he was secretly pleased with her decision.

They changed the ceremony a little. They held it on the grass of the park just behind First Beach. Jake offered to carry Billy and his wheelchair down to the beach but this worked well; between the forest and the sea. It seemed appropriate somehow.

Bella wore a cream coloured maternity dress that was made out of a knitted jersey material that hugged her new curves. The colour suited her perfectly. Her hair was just brushed out and left loose. Her hair condition had improved with the pregnancy and it looked so healthy and wavy.

Traditionally, as a Quileute bride, she would have worn a special veil but she had changed that custom a little too. She had a brooch made that had the veil elements hanging from it. A shell for fertility, a coin for wealth, a thimble to show she was a good provider for her family, and a bell to show her vigilance and care for her family. Jake had carved a small wooden wolf out of a dark timber and that was hung on it as well. The smaller pieces hung on leather thongs from the larger shell. She and Jake had made it together. He was so good with his hands and she had loved doing her bit for the tribe. Jake laughed that with the bell and the wolf they were both represented on it as well. He stained the wolf a dark colour, closer to Quil's wolf colouring. It was good to reconnect with him too. They both reminisced about the bike repair days in his garage. She admitted to him that Quil had made quite an impression on her, even that far back. His sheer confidence in himself, even then, had caught her eye.

Quil wore a new pair of plain black jeans and a crisp white shirt. With his colouring he looked gorgeous too.

Neither wore shoes.

They stood on a special woven mat that later would be given to an elder; Old Quil would get it as Quil's eldest living relative. The food in baskets and hand made pots was spread around the edges of the mat. The gifts for Bella were handmade items like baskets and beadwork. Quil's were mannish gifts like knives, fishing rods and guns. They were each wrapped in a blue blanket for the start of the ceremony. The idea was that when you were born, you were wrapped in a blanket and when you died, you were wrapped in one as well. So to the tribe, a blanket was supposed to be a marker for a life stage. So as you entered marriage, you were wrapped in a blanket also.

As Billy said the words of the ceremony, the blue blankets were removed by Renee and Rowana and then they were wrapped as one in a white blanket. They cuddled together under the white blanket. Quil kissed her to make it official.

They beamed at each other and everybody cheered. The wolf pack all made some indescribable howling noise that sent chills down her spine.

They didn't exchange rings. It was just too hard for Quil to wear one. They discussed getting them later when he stopped phasing. If they divorced the white blanket would be torn in half. In the meantime it was meant to be hung in their home, as a reminder of their commitment to each other.

Then the party started at the meeting hall.

The wolf pack took care of the music and pummelled each other over play list arguments. Bella noticed Jake and Leah dancing together. They looked so good together. She crossed her fingers for them.

She danced with Quil; well at least he just lifted her off the floor and danced around with her in his arms, making sure to keep her swollen tummy out of the way.

She was sitting at one stage, watching everyone and taking the chance to put her feet up, when Charlie threw himself down next to her. "Great party, Bells," he said.

"Yes…" She was thinking about how different her life would have been if she had stayed with Edward. He would have taken her away from all this for a start. She would have had a wedding, but it would have been tinged with sadness at farewelling her family and friends. None of the Quileute would have been allowed to attend for a start, because of the treaty. It wouldn't have been 'her' wedding; Alice would not have let her organise a thing anyway. It would have been the Cullens' usual over the top extravagance. Not her style at all. And she would have agreed with whatever Alice and Edward wanted.

She wasn't that person any more. The one who got almost hysterically upset about turning a year older.

She rubbed her stomach. She would never have had a child either.

"What are you thinking about?" Charlie asked perceptively.

"The Cullens," she admitted quietly.

Quil looked over at her. He was dancing with his mother. He smiled at her and she smiled back. He had probably heard her; his ears would have pricked up at the mention of the Cullens.

"He's completely different," stated Charlie. "I mean… he's the total opposite of Edwin…"

Bella almost snorted; he was more Edward's opposite than Charlie knew.

"Billy hated them… you know," Charlie added.

"Yes, I knew that. Well at least I do now."

"He would never tell me why either… would just go 'tribal business' on me… like he does sometimes. I've known him since we were boys and there is still stuff I don't know about Billy." Charlie shook his head. He sipped his beer. "You know I always worried about you with that Cullen boy… you just seemed so obsessed with him… I always felt like I was going to lose you somehow… and when you ended up in hospital that time…" His voice trailed off.

"They would definitely have moved away from Forks," admitted Bella. But she knew what Charlie meant about losing her. He would really have lost her, but he couldn't know that. She wondered at his sensitivity.

"And they have never contacted you… have they? I thought that Alice girl was okay. I was surprised that she, of all of them, didn't keep in touch. She was supposed to be a friend." He studied Quil across the room. "I like Quil. He's good for you. I'll admit you've made some mistakes… but life is like that and you two seem to be doing the best with what you have."

Bella almost cried. "Thanks Dad." She hugged him hard.

Renee approached them. "Oh Phil will be so sorry he missed this... but I have taken a thousand photos… and I can burn them onto a disk for you…"

Bella and Charlie exchanged a look; she might actually have taken a thousand photos.

"Are you technically aware now Mum?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know… I have finally succumbed after literally repelling technology for years… I give up…" She waved her arms for emphasis. "And I agree with Charlie… he's good for you… I am so glad you are happy. You've had a rough few months recently, but that is all behind you now."

She must have heard their exchange. "Thanks mum, I love him so much." They hugged. Her mother drove her nuts but she still loved her. "I am so glad you were both here to share this day with us," she said vehemently.

Quil blew her a kiss from the dance floor and she beamed at him. She gave him an eye fuck and he waved his booty at her and laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>Weeks<strong>** later**

The pack was watching Underworld… again. Jake swore he was pulling his own teeth out if he saw it again, but he threw himself on the floor and watched it anyway.

Quil loved the vampire assassin character that Kate Beckinsale played. It was the tight leather pants and the boots.

"Oh come on…she is the coolest… when she spins and shoots enough holes in the floor to fall through to the next level… that shit is awesome!" He still was pretty much a teenage boy.

"You cannot lust after a vampire buddy… it's just… **wrong**," teased Embry.

"Sure, sure," argued Quil. "This from the man who likes the hot blond friend… what's her name. She's a vampire too."

"She's always hanging with vampires… wasn't she in that television show with the dude who does Hawaii 5.0 now?" Seth put in.

"Oh yes, it **is** her… the vampire private detective… what was it called? …Moonlighting… Moonlight?" Embry said.

"Beth Turner was her character name in that," Paul commented. Everyone looked at him. "It's a gift," he explained. "I remember girl's names… comes in very useful… you know," he added. "And why didn't he?"

They all looked blank.

"Turn her? Get it? Beth Turner Turn Her." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly you guys …"

Bella laughed at them all. "I do think it is wrong for you guys to lust after vampires somehow. Aren't they supposed to be your mortal enemies?"

"Yeah," said Paul. "And the smell… with that many of them in one building. I think I speak for us all when I say …ewww."

"I'll bet **she** doesn't smell like candy," muttered Quil.

Jake smacked him up the back of the head; Bella couldn't reach and she was so pregnant now, it had taken her ages to get down to the couch. She had no hope of getting out of it without help.

"That's it!" crowed Quil. "Selene Ateara."

"No way!" shouted Embry.

"You cannot name the first pack baby after a… vampire!" shouted Paul.

"It doesn't sound right anyway," suggested Seth quietly. "Selene Ateara… that's too hard to say… it needs to be Selen**a** Ateara. That sounds better…"

They all looked at Seth now.

"What?" he whined.

There was silence for a beat.

"Actually…" started Bella.

"…that sounds okay," finished Jake.

"Selena Ateara," repeated Quil. "It's perfect!"

"What I was going to say…" said Bella. "Before you interrupted… was that Selene was the Greek moon goddess. The name means bright or something like that. I remember reading it in Virgil for school."

"Truly appropriate then, wolves and the moon," laughed Seth.

So Selena Ateara she was.

FF_2154210_ - 28/05/2011 05:11:00 AM


	29. Houses & homes

**Chapter 29 Houses & homes**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**Months pass**

Now they were married and accepted officially into the tribe, there was a push to grant them some land, especially as Quil was part of the pack too. They were eventually granted a plot near Sam and Emily's place and close to the forest.

Selena's birth went well in early March. Quil never left her side during the labour.

The baby slept in a cot in their bedroom in the apartment. Bella didn't mind, but Quil reckoned he got no sleep because he would wake and check on her every time she made a noise. Half the time she ended up in bed with them, curled up on her father's bare chest with one of his big hands protectively held over her. How he could sleep with her there, rather than in the cot and how the baby could sleep with the snoring, Bella had no idea, but it seemed to work for them both. It was not a good solution though. Selena got fretful about sleeping at all if her father was not around. He was like her big, warm stuffed toy and it was hard to get her to go down for a nap without him.

They did some research on kit homes. They could order one from Canada and it would be an appropriate plan for their area too. Snow weighting for roof trusses was an issue in the Pacific Northwest. They decided a plan that would allow for the house to be expanded later was probably the best idea. They didn't need a garage. A basic rectangular floor plan, with the main plumbing all together would be the simplest and the cheapest. The kitchen, bathroom and laundry would be in the centre, sharing a wall so all the plumbing was together. The master bedroom at one end, to give them some distance from the kids and two smaller bedrooms at the other.

They could build on decks, bedrooms and studies if they needed them later. The wolf pack could construct it. Sam's construction business was going well. Even so the cheapest kit they could get was still going to set them back over $20,000.

Bella despaired. Her college fund was non existent.

Rowana, Charlie, Renee and Phil got together and gave them the money. Bella just cried. Quil could smell her tears when he came home and he panicked for a minute. Bella was sitting on the floor clutching Selena and sobbing so hard she couldn't speak. He thought something was wrong until she waved at the computer and he read the email saying the money had already been deposited into their bank account with a little extra for carpets, furniture and so on.

Renee just argued that no gorgeous grandchild of hers was going to freeze to death in some crappy house or worse, in a mobile home because she had been too stingy to give them the money. Bella suspected that her mother and Phil had paid way more than their share, but that was typical of her as well; generous to a fault.

They accepted Bella's argument that she and Quil would pay them back, even though everyone knew they could probably never afford to do so. Charlie just sagely said he had saved a fortune on the wedding. "Those dresses and reception places aren't cheap you know," he grunted at her when she hugged him. "Didn't even need to buy that much alcohol."

Rowana argued that she had not contributed that much, but she was pleased that they had asked her.

The house shipment arrived within weeks and the pack got busy setting up. They had already put in the plumbing.

The build went with the usual pack speed, but also with the usual amount of disagreements and arguments.

Paul and Sam were arguing about something one afternoon. They were both shouting and pointing at the plans spread out on a surface and weighted down with tools to stop them blowing away in the wind. Quil was trying to calm them both down.

Others were hammering and sawing and in all the chaos nobody heard Charlie drive up. They heard the vehicle but didn't recognise it as Charlie's.

By the time someone noticed, the damage was done. Seth had lifted a whole section of wall into place by himself as Jared bolted it in and Quil was holding an entire window section in one hand and waving the other around at Paul and Sam. Embry had called for a tool and Paul had thrown it at him, at an inhuman speed and without looking and Embry had caught it.

Charlie was just standing there with his hand on his chest and his jaw on the ground. "I knew it," he kept muttering. "I just knew it!"

In the end they had to call Sue and Billy to come and speak to him. They had to tell him everything. He knew the tribal legends; he had attended a bonfire or two, in his time. He was not happy that they had kept this massive secret from him for so long but he understood it was tribal business. He had been a friend to the tribe in the past and he and Sue were close; they would probably have had to tell him in the future anyway.

He gave Sue an especially hard glance. She rolled her eyes and asked him why he hadn't noticed anything weird about Leah and Seth before, or Quil for that matter. He thought back to the dinner at Sue's place when he had met Quil for the first time and had to agree that he had been wilfully blind.

He insisted on seeing someone phase and typically Seth said he would do it as he had kind of blown it. Seth, Quil and Charlie went to a spot in the forest, just inside the tree line and Seth phased into his, still gangly, sandy wolf. Charlie walked all around him and asked a lot of pertinent questions. Quil answered them for him; the others were still at the building site; they were happy to let Seth think it was all his fault.

It was only later back at their apartment, when Charlie got the idea that not only did vampires actually exist, but that his daughter had dated one for a while, that he got really angry. He went unbelievably red in the face; he spluttered and roared at her that she was darn lucky she had left home and got married because she would be grounded for life if she still lived with him.

She stood there and let him rail and then she stopped him in his tracks by pointing out that she would most likely be effectively dead and that he would never have seen her again. That was the deal. He sat silently, holding Selena in his arms for a long time on the couch after that. Bella brought him a beer to apologise.

"Deal?" he asked.

"That's what they had done before. For the other members of the family."

"Does your mother know?" he finally asked.

"No."

"I said… at the wedding… I always felt like I was losing you. I was right wasn't I?"

"Yes."

"You wanted him to do that to you?"

She knew what he meant. "**Then**… yes I did want to become one of them. Not now…" She brushed her sleeping baby's head. "I couldn't think of anything worse now," she admitted.

"Is that why he left?"

She sighed. "I think… he thought he was saving me… protecting me by leaving me."

"That 'accident' wasn't was it? In Arizona? When you fell down the stairs at the hotel?"

"No… it was a vampire attack. The Cullens saved me but Edward was not entirely happy after that and he made the decision to leave. The pack looks after me now. Another 'accident' like that won't happen again."

"I knew Jake grew too fast… that boy grew inches in a week… salmon diet my ass," he grizzled.

"What the?" asked Bella.

"Billy told me it was all the salmon they ate," he huffed. "I mean… I eat nearly as much salmon as he does…"

Bella just burst out laughing at that. In the end, her laughter was contagious and Charlie started to chuckle too. They were both guffawing when they woke the baby up. Quil had just come home and he groused at them for waking the baby until he heard about the salmon diet as well. He laughed so hard he could barely speak.

"A-and… you believed him?" he managed to get out between guffaws.

Charlie started quizzing Quil about the pack over dinner. Bella gave up and went to bed and the two men talked for hours about werewolf skills and capacities. It didn't take Charlie long to think of ways they could help him with tracking and police work.

Quil told him about Victoria and the newborn vampire battle. He didn't expressly have permission, but he decided Charlie ought to know. Charlie had been in Seattle; he had been called in on that case after all and he had seen the victims. He was not an ordinary citizen. Charlie asked about the accident in Arizona. Quil told him about James and how he had hunted Bella to Phoenix. He told Charlie to look at her arm properly the next time he saw her; she bore a vampire bite on her lower arm. It was cold to the touch. He thought Charlie could probably tell how cold it felt; it was frigid to Quil. He explained how Victoria's hatred had fuelled her obsession with Bella. Charlie kept shaking his head a lot. Quil also told him that it was Edward that had sucked out the vampire venom and stopped her becoming one of them. He would always thank him for that.

It was a huge amount of information to take in all at once. And worse, for a cop, was that most of those murder cases from Seattle would have to remain marked 'unsolved'. 'Killed by vampires' rather than death by exsanguination, would never appear on any police files.

Quil swore to him nothing would ever hurt Bella while he and the pack were around.

They shook on it. Charlie left with a newfound admiration for his son-in-law.

FF_2154210_ - 29/05/2011 01:59:00 AM


	30. Number 2

**Chapter 30 Number 2**

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**Months pass**

Quil had a broken leg. A stray vampire had kicked him. He had lain around the house for a whole day with his leg braced and he was making Bella insane.

"What?" she shouted at him. "Stop watching me."

"Come over here and say that," he said to her in a low husky voice.

She waved her arms in the air. "Tell me you are not thinking about sex." He sure **looked** like he was thinking about sex.

He adjusted the front of his shorts. "I've got a broken leg," he whined. "All I can do is sit here and think about sex." He did puppy dog eyes at her. "Oh come on…. B please… Selena is with mum tonight… you've got me for the whole night."

She couldn't resist him. She stood next to him and she leant in towards him.

He ran his hand up the back of her leg.

"And again with the broken leg," she reminded him. "What _exactly_ can you do for me?"

He looked like he was actually thinking about his response. Then he said, "Well look at it this way… once you get me on my back, I'm staying there."

Bella smiled. "That is actually quite a good argument," she conceded. "Let me get your crutches."

The next morning Bella was woken by her eager wolf. She was face planted into the mattress. "Oh god… no more…." she muttered. "I can't do it anymore."

"Look! My leg's all healed." He held it up and bent it for her to demonstrate.

She opened half an eye. "Excellent, but now parts of _me_ are broken," she mumbled. "What was up with you? Not that I am complaining, but you were insatiable."

Quil gave her an evil grin. "You smelt really good," he admitted. He sniffed at her. "Still do."

"I do?" Bella sat up, suddenly wide awake. "Holy Crow Quil! You should have told me."

"Told you what?" he looked confused.

"The smell…"

He still looked blank. She smacked him in the shoulder.

"Idiot! I am probably ovulating. You can usually tell…" Her eyes narrowed at him. "Of course you can tell. You… you… sneaky…" He backed away from her quickly. She leapt out of the bed and tried to chase him, but his leg had healed too well and he took off at a run. "Get back here Quil Ateara!" she shouted at him.

"Oh come on B… are you telling me you don't want Quil Ateara VI?"

"You had better stay at Embry's boy!" she threatened him.

"No problem… I reckon I've done the job," he crowed before dashing into the laundry, grabbing some cut-offs and darting out the back door.

Bella stood in the doorway watching him zigzag naked across the yard, climbing into his cut-offs as he went. She smiled and patted her stomach.

Later that morning, Quil snuck into the kitchen and kissed her on the back of the neck while she was washing up. "You are not still angry with me are you?"

"No," she admitted. "But you could have said something. You don't need to trick me."

"Yeah…okay… that's fair." He kissed her again. "Selena is still with mum until after lunch, we could make_ really _sure." He pressed himself up behind her. His nose pressed into the side of her neck.

She turned in his arms and looked at him perceptively. "This is really important to you isn't it?"

"Hand me down names," he said. "Gotta have a boy to hand the name down to."

"I thought you hated your name." She was sure she remembered Jake laughing about Quil and Embry and their odd names when she first met them both.

"I don't hate the name… I just hate anyone teasing me about it." He rubbed up against her again. "You have to admit we Quils are one of a kind."

She chuckled. "There is certainly more of you, than of most others."

"Hey, you get quality **and** quantity here, baby."

She stroked her hands along the line of his shoulders. She had still not ever really got over the fact this enormous hunk of muscle was all hers. And he was. He had never imprinted and she didn't care. She had seen him literally beat women off him; the look on his face was priceless as he did it. A kind of a horror mixed with embarrassment. He was so worried that Bella might see them proposition him and be angry with him, that he was often more forceful than he needed to be. No, meant no, when Quil said it. There was no way the women could get the wrong message.

He was so odd after Selena's birth and it took her about an hour to work it out. He was fabulous during the actual labour. In her defense Bella was a little busy at the time; but it was only later that she realised that he had his heart set on them imprinting when their child was born. She was a bit grumpy with him for a while because he seemed so disappointed with the birth of his daughter. And he had been so excited about it beforehand. She couldn't work it out. It looked worse because everyone else was so eager to meet the first pack baby. Emily was due in another month herself and looked enormous as she held the tiny bundle high above her own swollen belly.

Quil had stared into her eyes with an intensity that had almost frightened her and then he had looked devastated. He'd eased off to the back of the room, avoiding the slaps on the shoulder and then eventually he had slipped out the door when she was distracted. All the pack was there and she couldn't find him for a while. People kept saying they thought they saw him with so and so or wasn't he here a minute ago. After a while Jake had chased them all out with some kind of sixth Bella sense. He had asked her what was wrong and she had told him; she had always been able to talk to Jake. Jake had literally tracked down Quil, 'questioned' him himself, and then dragged him back inside to apologise to Bella.

Poor Quil had nearly cried. He had mumbled a garbled explanation that he didn't think he could love her any less, he just worried (like all the un-imprinted wolves) that it would occur with someone else and he didn't want that to happen. That his world would be shattered if he imprinted on someone else. Especially now that they had a daughter.

Jake understood. After he had let Bella go; he had had his own life re-evaluation. He and Leah had become very close. Each had lost the person they considered the love of their lives; and to a close friend. Now they had mutual broken hearts and they had repaired them together. The broken pieces that barely were a whole for each; together made more than that.

The first time they had sex, they had imprinted on each other. It was after Quil and Bella's wedding reception. Jake now took a lot more notice of any pearls of wisdom Embry let slip. He had been absolutely right when he told Jake he would imprint to ensure wolf genes. Leah was the perfect wolf choice. The imprint had bound the alpha pair together and it had gone a very long way to healing Leah's wounded heart as well. It had also given her a long overdue dose of self esteem. She was buoyed by the idea that she was the one the wolf gods chose for the true alpha. Half her aggression and anger had come from trying to hurt people _before_ they could hurt her; it was a self defense mechanism and now she didn't need it, the old sweet Leah was back. Seth would have kissed Jake's feet, if he had let him.

Bella had promised Quil that even if he imprinted on someone else, that they would be pulling his body out of her cold, dead hands. He had calmed down after that and been back to his usual self.

So she was a little concerned that this 'get B pregnant' caper was more of the same.

"If you didn't imprint before, you won't do so now," she pointed out to him.

"What…?" He looked hurt. "You think **that **is what this is about?"

"Well… yes."

"Pffft… can't a man just want a son?"

She frowned at him and folded her arms.

He continued, "…and to fuck his woman when she's all fertile… and rounded… and her tits get really big… and she smells amazing and doesn't have PMS and my inner wolf just goes nuts…"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh come on B… I remember last time…" His voice dropped and he pulled her in closer to his body. "You were greedy."

Bella blushed. Quite how she still managed to blush, after more than a year of being with Quil was beyond her.

"I remember…" she admitted.

"We were even late to the clinic… because of you…" Quil pointed out.

"W-well," she stammered. "I knew I would be out of action for a while… maybe even six weeks." She sounded utterly horrified by the thought.

Quil laughed out loud. "God I** love** you B."

FF_2154210_ - 30/05/2011 05:12:00 AM


	31. Number 3 kwahuhl

**Chapter 31 Number 3 kwahuhl***

*Quileute for three

Disclaimer: _ the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing._

**Some time has passed:**

Bella was tired. This baby was as big as Little Quil had been at this stage and she strongly suspected it was another boy. Quil didn't want to know; he was adamant about that. He wanted it to be a surprise. He told her it didn't matter what it was, as long as it was healthy and had ten fingers and toes. She kind of agreed with him.

They had been for a check up together. 28 weeks now. Jake was babysitting Selena and Little Quil for them. By 'babysitting' Bella assumed he would take them out into the forest. They adored their uncle Jake.

The car pulled up at their little bungalow. The pack was supposed to finish the new extension before the baby arrived, otherwise it would be sleeping with them for a while. At least it would get used to Quil's snoring early. She would really prefer the building work to be completed before she had a new baby in the house though.

Quil's head lifted. "They are out the back. Jake yipped."

She believed him; she hadn't heard it. She held his hand and they walked around the side of their house and across the back yard towards the forest.

She froze suddenly. It was her vision. Quil stood behind her and hugged her.

_She is standing on the grass. It must be the yard of a house. Most houses in Forks or the reservation back onto the forest, so she can't tell which it is. It is the same as before. Jake comes out of the forest; his whole face lighting up as he sees her. But now she has one hand resting on her stomach, as the other lifts in a wave. Her stomach is swelling with another child. Now she can hear the excited squeals of the little boy and girl. __"Momma__," they cry excitedly. "Daddy," they add as they run towards her. Now she feels warmth at her back. A giant russet hand presses on her stomach; over hers._

_**He is behind her**__. Her dream man is standing behind her._

Quil hadn't noticed her lack of movement.

The kids were dashing towards them. Selena's hair had not been cut yet and it still had that baby curl at the bottom, but was otherwise straight like her father's and dark brown like her mother's. She had the longer legs and she was beating her little brother in the race towards their parents. He had solid little baby legs, and he couldn't run as fast as his sister. Rowana assured her, he was a Quil clone. As solid as his father had been at that age. He looked very serious as he ran; concentrating on not falling.

Quil rubbed her stomach and then stepped around her to scoop each kid up in one of his massive arms. They both talked over the top of each other.

"We saw a **real** wolf," Selena crowed.

"Fright…" was all little Quil could say. He wasn't two yet and he usually spoke in one word sentences.

Jake was striding across the grass. "Yeah, sorry… he got a bit of a shock. I asked him if he got a fright and that is all he can say now. But they were really good, and so quiet, sneaking around…"

"Fright," repeated little Quil.

Bella was still frozen. It was her vision. Absolutely identical.

Jake's brow furrowed at her. "Bells? Was the check up okay?" He looked concerned.

She stared at Quil's broad back; his arms full of their children. He must have noticed Jake's anxiety and he turned quickly.

His own face mirrored Jake's concern.

She blinked. Everything seemed to be in slow motion and it was all so sharp, so clear and almost** too** colourful.

Quil took a step towards her. The kids were suddenly quiet. Little Quil had one hand in his mouth and his other hand fisted in his father's shirt. Selena had her hand on her father's face, but glanced towards Bella.

He took another step.

"B?"

She looked at him. She utterly adored him. There he stood with his arms full of their children and his face full of love and concern for her. She took another step, and another, until she was right in front of him and she reached out to him.

Her hand reached up and pressed over his heart. Her full belly pressed against his body.

"It was you," she said. "It was always you."

The children reached for her; little Quil always wound her hair around his hand. It had started as a habit when he was breastfed and he still did it occasionally when he was nervous. He grabbed a lock of her hair. Selena reached for her face. She now had a hand on each of their faces.

**And the circle clicked into place.**

They were connected. Joined by love, with the new baby right in the centre.

Quil staggered a little where he stood, as if something had physically struck him. He dropped his head and he stared at her unblinkingly.

"Wow," said Jake. "I mean… just… you guys are_ glowing_… WOW."

Quil looked torn between dropping the kids and grabbing her. So she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him.

When he pulled his head back he spoke, "You know what just happened?"

"Yes," she said. "It was the vision… it was exactly the same…"

And then he laughed. "YES!" he screamed to the heavens. The kids looked astonished.

They clung to him as he did a little dance on the grass. They bounced and laughed as he growled at them and buried his face in their necks. "Get down guys," he told them. "I need to kiss your mother properly."

He dumped them on the grass, but it was as if they didn't want to be left out and they still clung to his legs; one on each side as he swooped Bella up for a breathless kiss.

"Come here B," he growled at her. Their lips welded together and he pulled her up against him.

"Hey guys," said Jake. "Who wants to go visit Auntie Leah. I'll bet she has some popsicles in the freezer."

"Yeah," said Selena.

"Quil," said little Quil.

"I'll give you an hour," Jake told them. "That's probably Leah's limit for kids, and then I'll bring them back."

"Thanks Jake," said Bella.

"Owe you one, dude." Quil had Bella in his arms by now. "One day we'll pay you back…"

Jake grinned at them. "No biggie…" He leant in and gave Bella a quick peck on the lips. "I'm really glad it finally happened... for you both. Wait until I tell Leah."

"I wasn't worried," argued Bella. She looked at her children. "You know…" she suggested to Quil. "We shouldn't send them away. They were part of this."

Quil's eyes sparkled at her. "You're right." He lowered his head to her ear. "But just wait until after bedtime," he promised her.

He turned. "Guys, we've got popsicles here. It's okay Jake," he explained. "Family," he said.

Jake nodded. "Yeah… I can see that." He got a mischievous look on his face. "I'll go convince Leah to get started on our own…" he grinned.

Quil laughed. "Good luck with that…"

Bella smiled. She knew Leah had been asking some questions. She had promised her not to say anything, but she _was_ thinking about it.

"We can practice," chuckled Jake. "Nothing wrong with lots of practice," he shouted as he backed away and jogged off.

Bella caught sight of little Quil; he looked ready for a nap. She nodded her head at Quil and he dropped her down enough to scoop him up into her arms, then he carried them both into the house.

Selena ran ahead to get the back door and hold it open for them.

Bella remembered how she had wanted to scoop up that little guy in her vision and here he was held tightly in her arms. It made the tears start.

"I love my Quils," she said as she buried her face in him.

Quil sniffed; he could smell her tears. "Don't cry B."

"It's just … when I had the vision I wanted to hug that little guy and… here he is," she tried to explain as she blinked away the tears. "It was so long ago … I had almost forgotten how it looked."

She was inside the house by then and he put her down gently. She was still hugging little Quil.

"Momma?" he asked.

"Sorry sweetie, Momma's just tired today."

He looked truly concerned; he held his little hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. His dark eyes welled up and a tear trickled out.

"Oh Honey," Bella apologised. "I'm sorry… Momma just loves you so much… these are tears of happiness …I'm not sad… really I'm not." She hugged him in against her. She could feel Quil behind her, as he hugged them both. "And the baby makes me all emotional too."

Little Quil kind of understood that there was a baby in Momma's tummy. He wriggled and Bella put him down. He patted her stomach and shouted "Baby!" at the bump. Bella laughed.

Selena was busy dragging a chair over to the kitchen counter to try and get up to the freezer.

"Hey, hey," chided Quil. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Popsicles," she stated as if it was obvious.

"Show me what you were going to do."

She stood on the chair seat, clambered up to the counter, stood on it, reached round to open the freezer door and fell off. Quil caught her before she hit the floor.

He gave her a look. "Now that was a bad idea, wasn't it?"

She looked sulky for a second. "No," she argued. "You caught me."

"Selena… you know I am not always here to catch you and your mother," he gave her a glance, "… doesn't move so quickly anymore."

"Awww."

"No climbing in the house."

"Okay Daddy."

"Promise me."

She looked unbelievably earnest as she hoicked, spat on her hand and held it out to her father. He withheld a snort, but his eyes gleamed as he spat too and they shook on it very seriously.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Uncle Embry said that's what you do when you make a promise," she explained.

"Uh-huh. We should probably get those popsicles now. B, you want one?"

"I will have one. Can we eat them outside?"

So the family trooped outside and lay on the grass. Bella lay with her back on Quil, the kids jumped and danced around them until little Quil lay down too and promptly fell asleep.

"Think it might be naptime for everyone," laughed Quil.

"I just need to put my feet up," Bella said.

Quil gave her a rascally look. "I'll promise I will keep your feet up…" he offered.

"Oh a promise; are you going to spit too Momma?" Selena asked her.

Quil snorted. "Your mother doesn't spit…"

"Hey," Bella tried to argue. "I can spit." She attempted to spit into her palm but it was awful to watch; a small dribble of spittle hanging off her bottom lip. She gave up and wiped her hand on her dress. Selena and Quil had identical looks on their faces as they watched her.

"Uh huh," said Selena in an eerie imitation of her father.

"Come on, nap time." Quil climbed to his feet, gave Bella a hand up, and scooped up his small son.

"Quil, slip a pull-up on him, just in case." She took Selena by the hand. "What movie do you want to watch Sweetie?"

"Hmmm, Sleeping Beauty, please Momma."

"Oh I like that one too." She set it up for the small girl, kissed her on the top of the head. "I am going to have a nap too. You call and Daddy will hear you."

"I know," she stated.

Bella grinned at that, Quil had always got to the babies before she did. And then brought them to her if they needed a feed. She made her way to their bedroom. She climbed onto the bed and emitted a small moan of relief as she got her feet up. She closed her eyes. The first she knew that Quil was there was when the bed shifted with his weight.

He kissed her cheek. "You are the worst spitter…ever."

"Yeah… maybe. I will leave that to you and our talented daughter."

"You have other skills," he said in a low voice.

She opened one eye. "Don't you know it," she stated.

He grinned. "I did promise I would get your feet up." He climbed off the bed and started stripping his clothes off. She had both eyes open now. She loved watching him naked; he was spectacular. "Are you pleased?" she asked. "About the imprint?"

"I guess so… it's kind of odd it took this long to show up… I mean what is that about?"

"Maybe it's this baby?" she tried. "I don't know enough about imprints; not that anyone really knows much about them." He lifted her off the bed with that eager look on his face he always got when he knew she wouldn't say 'no'. God, she adored him.

He started peeling her out of her clothes.

"Maybe the wolf gods just gave up… that pig-headed Ateara just won't give up the feeble pale face…" she giggled.

"Yep," he agreed. "Sounds like a good theory to me…" He knelt in front of her and pressed his lips against her rounded stomach. He studied her body. "Maybe it's the babies… two healthy ones and another on the way. I love it when you're pregnant. Things change every day."

She rubbed her hands over his still buzz cut hair.

He kissed her at the top of her pubic mound. Blowing heated air onto her. She closed her eyes, swayed a little where she stood and made a low "mmm" sound. He rubbed his face against her, his fingers reaching around behind her. She shifted her feet a little to open her legs further for him.

Quil had told her that his favourite thing was her thighs wrapped around his ears and she had to agree; it was pretty high on her favourite list too. But she did need to lie down.

"Bed, Quil… need to lie down…oh my," she whimpered as he worked at her. She swayed a little again. "Ahhh," she cried out in a low voice. "Oh…" She bit at her lip to quiet herself. She worried about Selena hearing her.

"Quil?" she tried again, but he was not going to stop. She gave up fighting him. She lifted her leg and slid it over his shoulder, resting her thigh on that broad expanse and pressing herself into his face. He would not let her fall; she knew that. And he was so strong; he had held her above him against a wall once.

Her fingers stroked over his velvety hair, she played with his ears. "You remember that time against the wall?" she whispered to him.

He hummed appreciatively and sank his fingers into her.

Her head rocked back. "Oh yes…" Her legs shook as she came above him. She swallowed her cries. He carried her quickly to the bed and laid her gently on her back. He held both her ankles in one hand and scooted in under her legs; his knees on either side of her. She opened her legs and rested her feet up on his shoulders. He reached down and with a hand for guidance, slid into her.

It was not a good angle for deep penetration and he couldn't push her thighs down onto her stomach but it was still good. He took a slow, long rocking motion. Occasionally he withdrew and rubbed the head up and down her folds. She had her hands under the pillow, pressing it over her own face to muffle her cries. When she was getting close again he flipped her onto her side, lifted her top thigh and socked into her from behind. She shuddered and clenched around him; her face buried in the pillow. His arm slid across her chest along her collarbones and locked around her other shoulder. Her hands clutched at his arm.

He lifted her slightly as he kept pushing into her until he exploded inside her.

His lips pressed into the shell of her ear. "Mine," he growled.

"Yours…Yes," she agreed. "Oh yes." She gave another shudder as he made one last lifting motion into her. He held her tight against him for as long as he could. Their breathing returned to normal, Bella's started to even out. She was falling asleep. Quil kissed the side of her head. He slid out of her; she made a small whining sound that almost made him laugh out loud. He covered her up with the blankets. She really felt the cold when he wasn't around.

He brushed his hand over her hair and remembered how blue she had been that time in the tent. She had always felt the cold. Even carrying a wolf baby didn't seem to make a difference to her. Some of the other wolf women got an increase in body temperature pregnant, but not his Bella.

And she **was** his. The wolf gods had finally graced him with an imprint. He pretended that he was just happy about it; but the truth was he was **ecstatic**. He had still worried about breaking her heart. He knew he had behaved badly after Selena's birth, but he really was shattered that it hadn't happened at that time. He was so sure it would have happened then. After that, he had managed to hide his concern well.

He lifted the blanket for a quick peek at her stomach. She was 28 weeks now and getting really big. She never gained much weight, she was just all baby. It made it really easy to see the baby move. They just wriggled around in there. Bella frowned a little, her stomach twitched and then Quil could see her whole stomach move as the baby clearly rolled over.

"Shit," he told the bump. "Don't tie yourself up in the cord." He knew Bella always complained that the baby moved more when she lay down. He placed his warm, hand over the baby and patted it. "Shhh, let her sleep," he whispered at it.

"Quil?" she murmured.

"S'okay," he told her. "Go back to sleep." He kissed her forehead and tucked her in tightly.

He slipped his clothes back on and went to watch the movie with Selena. He was betting it was Sleeping Beauty, her current favourite. He took a last look at Bella sleeping soundly, her hair in a cloud around her.

He smiled and wondered if he could talk her into a fourth. Probably should leave that for a year or so after this one arrived.

**The end.**

**AN: so we finish on a big chapter and a high for Quil… I know it goes against all imprint canon and I can't say where it came from… maybe the wolf gods did just give up on him… maybe they constructed the life together, she saw a hint of in the vision, and this is their reward? No idea… I just know that I liked it. **

**MTR**

FF_2154210_ - 31/05/2011 03:12:00 AM


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